Detroit News Pitchbot
@detnewspitchbot.bsky.social
Generating content ideas for Detroit’s most ridiculous opinion section.
GUEST SCANDAL: Epstein Scandal? What happened on Mackinac Island was a private matter. And I still support the President.
By Lena Epstein, no longer the most embarrassing Epstein
By Lena Epstein, no longer the most embarrassing Epstein
November 16, 2025 at 10:50 PM
GUEST SCANDAL: Epstein Scandal? What happened on Mackinac Island was a private matter. And I still support the President.
By Lena Epstein, no longer the most embarrassing Epstein
By Lena Epstein, no longer the most embarrassing Epstein
DUMAS: Contrary to his public image, I have always found Jeffrey Epstein to be pleasant, professional, and passionate.
November 16, 2025 at 6:18 PM
DUMAS: Contrary to his public image, I have always found Jeffrey Epstein to be pleasant, professional, and passionate.
November 7, 2025 at 1:15 AM
FINLEY: Detroit voters set back the cause of bipartisanship by rejecting Karen Whitsett
November 5, 2025 at 2:45 PM
FINLEY: Detroit voters set back the cause of bipartisanship by rejecting Karen Whitsett
Because Livengood is a Temu Curtis Yarvin who is hostile to the very idea of multiparty democracy.
October 5, 2025 at 7:10 PM
Because Livengood is a Temu Curtis Yarvin who is hostile to the very idea of multiparty democracy.
BUSS: John James should stop being so uppity and remember his place.
September 29, 2025 at 2:29 AM
BUSS: John James should stop being so uppity and remember his place.
FINLEY: Let Rick Snyder fix late night.
September 24, 2025 at 12:20 PM
FINLEY: Let Rick Snyder fix late night.
BUSS: Charlie Kirk’s greatest legacy was advocating for safer air travel.
September 21, 2025 at 9:48 PM
BUSS: Charlie Kirk’s greatest legacy was advocating for safer air travel.
FINLEY: Let Rick Snyder fix late night.
September 18, 2025 at 5:05 PM
FINLEY: Let Rick Snyder fix late night.
LEDUFF: At the Riviera party store on East McNichols, they’e not talking about Charlie Kirk’s opinions on guns. D’Andre says it’s all a bunch of media B.S. “That white boy got shot and we have to hear about it for days. Whitmer ain’t even fixed the damn roads yet, man.”
September 15, 2025 at 4:26 PM
LEDUFF: At the Riviera party store on East McNichols, they’e not talking about Charlie Kirk’s opinions on guns. D’Andre says it’s all a bunch of media B.S. “That white boy got shot and we have to hear about it for days. Whitmer ain’t even fixed the damn roads yet, man.”
GUEST COLUMN: Charlie Kirk’s killer engraved “Fascists, catch” on his bullets because the radical left wants us to believe Fascism is bad. This is a dangerous and offensive anti-Italian stereotype.
By Pete Lucido, politically correct by 586 standards
By Pete Lucido, politically correct by 586 standards
September 13, 2025 at 1:20 PM
GUEST COLUMN: Charlie Kirk’s killer engraved “Fascists, catch” on his bullets because the radical left wants us to believe Fascism is bad. This is a dangerous and offensive anti-Italian stereotype.
By Pete Lucido, politically correct by 586 standards
By Pete Lucido, politically correct by 586 standards
HOWES: With health care an increasingly critical economic driver, hospital administrators I’ve spoken with are privately grumbling that Whitmer’s hostility to TB could mean another lost decade for Michigan.
September 7, 2025 at 4:54 PM
HOWES: With health care an increasingly critical economic driver, hospital administrators I’ve spoken with are privately grumbling that Whitmer’s hostility to TB could mean another lost decade for Michigan.
GUEST COLUMN: Detroit’s violence is so bad that my neighbors in a gated community in Florida fear for their safety.
By Mike Rogers, prefers Boca to Beso and thinks Duval’s Fresh has gone downhill
By Mike Rogers, prefers Boca to Beso and thinks Duval’s Fresh has gone downhill
September 4, 2025 at 7:34 PM
GUEST COLUMN: Detroit’s violence is so bad that my neighbors in a gated community in Florida fear for their safety.
By Mike Rogers, prefers Boca to Beso and thinks Duval’s Fresh has gone downhill
By Mike Rogers, prefers Boca to Beso and thinks Duval’s Fresh has gone downhill
BUSS: Chicken fried steak doesn’t use they/them pronouns.
August 29, 2025 at 12:50 PM
BUSS: Chicken fried steak doesn’t use they/them pronouns.
BUSS: Dear Michigan Enjoyer funders. I really don’t want to plumb.
August 21, 2025 at 3:46 PM
BUSS: Dear Michigan Enjoyer funders. I really don’t want to plumb.
GUEST COLUMN: The MSM-driven controversy about Grok’s MechaHitler persona is a distraction from the real threat of antisemitism on elite college campuses.
By Lena Epstein, if Yentl had a Fredo Corleone vibe.
By Lena Epstein, if Yentl had a Fredo Corleone vibe.
July 9, 2025 at 8:00 PM
GUEST COLUMN: The MSM-driven controversy about Grok’s MechaHitler persona is a distraction from the real threat of antisemitism on elite college campuses.
By Lena Epstein, if Yentl had a Fredo Corleone vibe.
By Lena Epstein, if Yentl had a Fredo Corleone vibe.
GUEST COLUMN: We need evolution, not revolution. Let’s find common ground with King George and work together to keep Fort Michilimackinac open.
By Colonial Governor G.E. Whitmer.
By Colonial Governor G.E. Whitmer.
July 5, 2025 at 10:36 PM
GUEST COLUMN: We need evolution, not revolution. Let’s find common ground with King George and work together to keep Fort Michilimackinac open.
By Colonial Governor G.E. Whitmer.
By Colonial Governor G.E. Whitmer.
LEDUFF: The Sons of Liberty celebrated independence inside the swanky Green Dragon Tavern. Over in the harbor Josiah, an out-of-work ropemaker, isn’t feeling so festive.
“I don’t need independence, man. I need John Hancock do something about the crisis at the New Hampshire border.” #1776Pitchbot
“I don’t need independence, man. I need John Hancock do something about the crisis at the New Hampshire border.” #1776Pitchbot
July 5, 2025 at 7:11 PM
LEDUFF: The Sons of Liberty celebrated independence inside the swanky Green Dragon Tavern. Over in the harbor Josiah, an out-of-work ropemaker, isn’t feeling so festive.
“I don’t need independence, man. I need John Hancock do something about the crisis at the New Hampshire border.” #1776Pitchbot
“I don’t need independence, man. I need John Hancock do something about the crisis at the New Hampshire border.” #1776Pitchbot
FINLEY: Yesterday’s so-called Declaration of Independence is short on compromise and civility. #1776Pitchbot
July 5, 2025 at 4:59 PM
FINLEY: Yesterday’s so-called Declaration of Independence is short on compromise and civility. #1776Pitchbot
DUMAS: Contrary to his public image, I have always found Benedict Arnold to be pleasant, professional, and passionate.
July 5, 2025 at 1:48 AM
DUMAS: Contrary to his public image, I have always found Benedict Arnold to be pleasant, professional, and passionate.
BANKOLE: King George’s gold crown appeals to young Black colonists.
July 4, 2025 at 11:41 PM
BANKOLE: King George’s gold crown appeals to young Black colonists.
HOWES: Wasted tea, wasted time. In this town, capital talks. King George has it. The so-called revelers? Not so much. #1776Pitchbot
July 4, 2025 at 9:16 PM
HOWES: Wasted tea, wasted time. In this town, capital talks. King George has it. The so-called revelers? Not so much. #1776Pitchbot
BUSS: Hillsdale loyalists question the lack of ideological diversity at the Continental Congress. #1776Pitchbot
July 4, 2025 at 11:52 AM
BUSS: Hillsdale loyalists question the lack of ideological diversity at the Continental Congress. #1776Pitchbot
BANKOLE: Opponents of Trump’s Iran bombing campaign continue to ignore Benton Harbor, lack an urban agenda.
June 22, 2025 at 8:34 PM
BANKOLE: Opponents of Trump’s Iran bombing campaign continue to ignore Benton Harbor, lack an urban agenda.
LEDUFF: Unlike the media
elites, LeRoy, standing outside the United Party Shoppe, doesn’t care about bombing Iran. “I’m just trying to get bombed, man. But I’m out there on 7 Mile needing more change for a pint of Mohawk. Whitmer’s inflation, man? It’s rough.”
elites, LeRoy, standing outside the United Party Shoppe, doesn’t care about bombing Iran. “I’m just trying to get bombed, man. But I’m out there on 7 Mile needing more change for a pint of Mohawk. Whitmer’s inflation, man? It’s rough.”
June 22, 2025 at 12:58 PM
LEDUFF: Unlike the media
elites, LeRoy, standing outside the United Party Shoppe, doesn’t care about bombing Iran. “I’m just trying to get bombed, man. But I’m out there on 7 Mile needing more change for a pint of Mohawk. Whitmer’s inflation, man? It’s rough.”
elites, LeRoy, standing outside the United Party Shoppe, doesn’t care about bombing Iran. “I’m just trying to get bombed, man. But I’m out there on 7 Mile needing more change for a pint of Mohawk. Whitmer’s inflation, man? It’s rough.”