Paula - Defend Survivors
@defendsurvivors.bsky.social
✨ Activist for abuse/trauma survivors Fierce advocate & proud mom | Adoptee | Blog https://open.substack.com/pub/defendsurvivors
🛍️ Worthy & Wonderful Shop https://worthywonderfulshop.etsy.com
🛍️ Worthy & Wonderful Shop https://worthywonderfulshop.etsy.com
“Watching an abuser gain sympathy or protection from the very people and systems that should be standing with survivors is one of the deepest injustices imaginable.”
Survivors deserve sympathy - not perpetrators.
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
Survivors deserve sympathy - not perpetrators.
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
November 21, 2025 at 6:37 PM
“Watching an abuser gain sympathy or protection from the very people and systems that should be standing with survivors is one of the deepest injustices imaginable.”
Survivors deserve sympathy - not perpetrators.
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
Survivors deserve sympathy - not perpetrators.
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
“The truth is that many mean people ARE happy with themselves. The truth is that there are horrible people that really do enjoy hurting other people and harm for no other reason than that they. want. to.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
November 16, 2025 at 8:33 PM
“The truth is that many mean people ARE happy with themselves. The truth is that there are horrible people that really do enjoy hurting other people and harm for no other reason than that they. want. to.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
Looking for the perfect thing to wear for the holidays and stop unwanted conversations before they start at family gatherings?? We’ve got you!! Our exclusive “Expert in my Experience” is soft,cozy, and comes in 8 beautiful colors 💚
#novictimblaming
worthywonderfulshop.etsy.com/listing/1138...
#novictimblaming
worthywonderfulshop.etsy.com/listing/1138...
November 16, 2025 at 1:42 AM
Looking for the perfect thing to wear for the holidays and stop unwanted conversations before they start at family gatherings?? We’ve got you!! Our exclusive “Expert in my Experience” is soft,cozy, and comes in 8 beautiful colors 💚
#novictimblaming
worthywonderfulshop.etsy.com/listing/1138...
#novictimblaming
worthywonderfulshop.etsy.com/listing/1138...
“We already know who the perpetrator is, and now if you support an abuser, we know who you are.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
November 4, 2025 at 2:52 PM
“We already know who the perpetrator is, and now if you support an abuser, we know who you are.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
“I got to live in my ghost kingdom for a week, and it was beautiful.”
New blog!
#adopteevoices
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
New blog!
#adopteevoices
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
November 1, 2025 at 1:28 AM
“I got to live in my ghost kingdom for a week, and it was beautiful.”
New blog!
#adopteevoices
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
New blog!
#adopteevoices
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
Why do we have Adoptee Remembrance Day? Because we have lost so many survivors of adoption to suicide, trauma, and abuse. And so many survivors of adoption live with abuse and trauma but are silenced. Adoption is trauma. Listen to adoptees.
#adopteeremembranceday
#adopteeremembranceday
October 31, 2025 at 2:21 AM
Why do we have Adoptee Remembrance Day? Because we have lost so many survivors of adoption to suicide, trauma, and abuse. And so many survivors of adoption live with abuse and trauma but are silenced. Adoption is trauma. Listen to adoptees.
#adopteeremembranceday
#adopteeremembranceday
They say adoption builds families, but for too many of us adoptees we just end up losing two families. What we’re often left with is the family we create.
#adopteedayofremembrance
worthywonderfulshop.etsy.com/listing/1772...
#adopteedayofremembrance
worthywonderfulshop.etsy.com/listing/1772...
October 30, 2025 at 6:08 PM
They say adoption builds families, but for too many of us adoptees we just end up losing two families. What we’re often left with is the family we create.
#adopteedayofremembrance
worthywonderfulshop.etsy.com/listing/1772...
#adopteedayofremembrance
worthywonderfulshop.etsy.com/listing/1772...
“People often insist they know exactly what forgiveness means, acting as if their definition is the only one that matters. But the truth is, there’s no single “true” meaning of forgiveness.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
October 24, 2025 at 9:17 PM
“People often insist they know exactly what forgiveness means, acting as if their definition is the only one that matters. But the truth is, there’s no single “true” meaning of forgiveness.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
“Mental health struggles are NEVER a costume. It is a very serious and painful experience and is often a complete result of a crime committed against the survivor.”
Read this excellent article written by my daughter.
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
Read this excellent article written by my daughter.
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
October 23, 2025 at 4:45 PM
“Mental health struggles are NEVER a costume. It is a very serious and painful experience and is often a complete result of a crime committed against the survivor.”
Read this excellent article written by my daughter.
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
Read this excellent article written by my daughter.
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
“‘Women are evil’
When reading these comments, it won’t take long to get to one about evil women, which is a tale as old as Adam and Eve that supports misogyny and patriarchy.”
#DomesticViolenceAwarenessMonth
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
When reading these comments, it won’t take long to get to one about evil women, which is a tale as old as Adam and Eve that supports misogyny and patriarchy.”
#DomesticViolenceAwarenessMonth
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
October 17, 2025 at 4:50 PM
“‘Women are evil’
When reading these comments, it won’t take long to get to one about evil women, which is a tale as old as Adam and Eve that supports misogyny and patriarchy.”
#DomesticViolenceAwarenessMonth
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
When reading these comments, it won’t take long to get to one about evil women, which is a tale as old as Adam and Eve that supports misogyny and patriarchy.”
#DomesticViolenceAwarenessMonth
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
“You deserve support that strengthens you, not words that tear you down. You deserve respect for the incredible strength it takes to keep moving forward when the world has already failed you.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
October 16, 2025 at 11:29 PM
“You deserve support that strengthens you, not words that tear you down. You deserve respect for the incredible strength it takes to keep moving forward when the world has already failed you.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
“You are worthy of people in your life who care about your pain instead of questioning it. Worthy of being surrounded by those who understand that survival is not something to critique, but something to honor and respect.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
October 15, 2025 at 11:30 PM
“You are worthy of people in your life who care about your pain instead of questioning it. Worthy of being surrounded by those who understand that survival is not something to critique, but something to honor and respect.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
“Being believed should never be a “gift.” It should be your right. And beyond that right, you are worthy of more—so much more. You deserve a community that not only acknowledges your truth but actively protects and honors you.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
October 14, 2025 at 8:36 PM
“Being believed should never be a “gift.” It should be your right. And beyond that right, you are worthy of more—so much more. You deserve a community that not only acknowledges your truth but actively protects and honors you.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
“Family preservation means families should be supported and resourced to care for their children and stay together.
It means that when mothers, fathers, or caregivers are loving and safe, they should be helped — not punished — for struggling.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
It means that when mothers, fathers, or caregivers are loving and safe, they should be helped — not punished — for struggling.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
October 13, 2025 at 8:21 PM
“Family preservation means families should be supported and resourced to care for their children and stay together.
It means that when mothers, fathers, or caregivers are loving and safe, they should be helped — not punished — for struggling.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
It means that when mothers, fathers, or caregivers are loving and safe, they should be helped — not punished — for struggling.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
New blog!
“Family preservation means caring for children and keeping loving families together — not harming children by enabling their abuser.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
“Family preservation means caring for children and keeping loving families together — not harming children by enabling their abuser.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
October 13, 2025 at 2:18 AM
New blog!
“Family preservation means caring for children and keeping loving families together — not harming children by enabling their abuser.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
“Family preservation means caring for children and keeping loving families together — not harming children by enabling their abuser.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
“After abuse and trauma, it seems like everyone suddenly believes they are the expert—on abuse, on trauma, on what you should have done, and on what you should do now. But the truth is, they don’t. Their advice comes from their own perspective—not yours.“
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
October 7, 2025 at 12:13 AM
“After abuse and trauma, it seems like everyone suddenly believes they are the expert—on abuse, on trauma, on what you should have done, and on what you should do now. But the truth is, they don’t. Their advice comes from their own perspective—not yours.“
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
The Baby Scoop Era: When Shame Stole Our Mothers
Between 1945–1973, up to 4 million babies were taken from unmarried mothers, shamed and silenced by families, faith, and society. We are not a shame. We are the truth they tried to hide. #BabyScoopEra
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
Between 1945–1973, up to 4 million babies were taken from unmarried mothers, shamed and silenced by families, faith, and society. We are not a shame. We are the truth they tried to hide. #BabyScoopEra
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
October 6, 2025 at 4:33 PM
The Baby Scoop Era: When Shame Stole Our Mothers
Between 1945–1973, up to 4 million babies were taken from unmarried mothers, shamed and silenced by families, faith, and society. We are not a shame. We are the truth they tried to hide. #BabyScoopEra
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
Between 1945–1973, up to 4 million babies were taken from unmarried mothers, shamed and silenced by families, faith, and society. We are not a shame. We are the truth they tried to hide. #BabyScoopEra
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
“We are not a shame. Our mothers are not a shame. The shame belongs to the families, religious institutions, and systems that failed them.”
#babyscoopera #adopteevoices
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
#babyscoopera #adopteevoices
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
October 5, 2025 at 2:55 AM
“We are not a shame. Our mothers are not a shame. The shame belongs to the families, religious institutions, and systems that failed them.”
#babyscoopera #adopteevoices
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
#babyscoopera #adopteevoices
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
October 3, 2025 at 3:36 PM
“Whenever I hear someone say, “They just don’t want to heal,” I always think, “Well, now we know why they are struggling.” This kind of judgment is not care; it’s control dressed up as concern.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
October 2, 2025 at 2:46 PM
“Whenever I hear someone say, “They just don’t want to heal,” I always think, “Well, now we know why they are struggling.” This kind of judgment is not care; it’s control dressed up as concern.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
“When someone asks why women don’t tell about abuse, I always want to say because they’re intelligent, and they know what is likely going to happen if they do tell. The comments on these posts only fortify those fears in anyone who is experiencing domestic abuse.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
October 1, 2025 at 3:51 PM
“When someone asks why women don’t tell about abuse, I always want to say because they’re intelligent, and they know what is likely going to happen if they do tell. The comments on these posts only fortify those fears in anyone who is experiencing domestic abuse.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
“Survivors escape abuse when systems work, when friends believe them, when families protect them, and when perpetrators are held accountable. Until then, it’s not “staying”—it’s surviving.”
#respectsurvivors
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
#respectsurvivors
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
September 30, 2025 at 8:21 PM
“Survivors escape abuse when systems work, when friends believe them, when families protect them, and when perpetrators are held accountable. Until then, it’s not “staying”—it’s surviving.”
#respectsurvivors
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
#respectsurvivors
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
“The truth is, no one has lived your exact experience. That makes you the expert in your own story. You deserve to be believed. You deserve to be heard. And most of all, you deserve respect.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
September 29, 2025 at 6:50 PM
“The truth is, no one has lived your exact experience. That makes you the expert in your own story. You deserve to be believed. You deserve to be heard. And most of all, you deserve respect.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
“No one can define what forgiveness will mean for someone else—or if it’s even something they would ever want to consider. Ultimately, there is no single definition of forgiveness, and it is not a requirement for healing, moving forward, or anything else.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
September 26, 2025 at 3:23 PM
“No one can define what forgiveness will mean for someone else—or if it’s even something they would ever want to consider. Ultimately, there is no single definition of forgiveness, and it is not a requirement for healing, moving forward, or anything else.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...