Paula - Defend Survivors
@defendsurvivors.bsky.social
✨ Activist for abuse/trauma survivors Fierce advocate & proud mom | Adoptee | Blog https://open.substack.com/pub/defendsurvivors
🛍️ Worthy & Wonderful Shop https://worthywonderfulshop.etsy.com
🛍️ Worthy & Wonderful Shop https://worthywonderfulshop.etsy.com
“You shouldn’t be lying about how much the perpetrator ‘loves’ their family - no they don’t, or they wouldn’t have horrifically harmed another human being.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
Why shouldn't you give a character reference for an abuser?
Everyone says they are against abuse until the perpetrator is someone they know.
open.substack.com
November 21, 2025 at 2:24 PM
“You shouldn’t be lying about how much the perpetrator ‘loves’ their family - no they don’t, or they wouldn’t have horrifically harmed another human being.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
The courts become very concerned about a child knowing their identity when they are protecting a perpetrator but they change children’s identities every day and seal the records to support a 25 billion dollar adoption industry.
#childrights
#childrights
November 21, 2025 at 2:40 AM
The courts become very concerned about a child knowing their identity when they are protecting a perpetrator but they change children’s identities every day and seal the records to support a 25 billion dollar adoption industry.
#childrights
#childrights
The courts become very concerned about ‘family preservation’ when they are protecting a perpetrator but not when it’s a loving mother in a crisis being coerced into adoption.
November 21, 2025 at 2:16 AM
The courts become very concerned about ‘family preservation’ when they are protecting a perpetrator but not when it’s a loving mother in a crisis being coerced into adoption.
Survivors don’t have to become a ‘success story,’ they just need to be able to live the life they want to live.
#respectsurvivors
#respectsurvivors
November 20, 2025 at 6:46 PM
Survivors don’t have to become a ‘success story,’ they just need to be able to live the life they want to live.
#respectsurvivors
#respectsurvivors
No one’s rights supersede the adoptee’s right to their original birth certificate - not the mother, father, adoptive parents, or state. It’s the adoptee’s birth certificate and their right to have. All states need to correct this human rights violation and unseal adoption records. #adopteerights
November 19, 2025 at 10:45 PM
No one’s rights supersede the adoptee’s right to their original birth certificate - not the mother, father, adoptive parents, or state. It’s the adoptee’s birth certificate and their right to have. All states need to correct this human rights violation and unseal adoption records. #adopteerights
“As much as my adoptive family enjoyed celebrating birthdays and holidays with their biological family, I would’ve liked the chance to do the same with my biological family. I would’ve liked to even know that they existed.”
#adopteevoices
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
#adopteevoices
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
My entire life was a lie and I’m still finding the truth…but it didn't have to be this way | My Adoption Journey
People say adoption builds families but for many of us, it tears families apart.
open.substack.com
November 19, 2025 at 7:29 PM
“As much as my adoptive family enjoyed celebrating birthdays and holidays with their biological family, I would’ve liked the chance to do the same with my biological family. I would’ve liked to even know that they existed.”
#adopteevoices
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
#adopteevoices
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
I need a “common sense” stamp to put on every post trying to prove things that should be common sense
- Domestic abuse is child abuse - common sense
- 15 year olds are children - common sense
-Strict parenting hurts kids - common sense
- Wrong to call people names - common sense
- Domestic abuse is child abuse - common sense
- 15 year olds are children - common sense
-Strict parenting hurts kids - common sense
- Wrong to call people names - common sense
November 19, 2025 at 7:17 PM
I need a “common sense” stamp to put on every post trying to prove things that should be common sense
- Domestic abuse is child abuse - common sense
- 15 year olds are children - common sense
-Strict parenting hurts kids - common sense
- Wrong to call people names - common sense
- Domestic abuse is child abuse - common sense
- 15 year olds are children - common sense
-Strict parenting hurts kids - common sense
- Wrong to call people names - common sense
Many of us adoptees that grew up in homes with biological children know there is a definite difference.
#adopteevoices
#adopteevoices
November 19, 2025 at 4:15 PM
Many of us adoptees that grew up in homes with biological children know there is a definite difference.
#adopteevoices
#adopteevoices
Many of us adoptees that grew up in homes with biological children know there is a definite difference.
#adopteevoices
#adopteevoices
November 19, 2025 at 4:14 PM
Many of us adoptees that grew up in homes with biological children know there is a definite difference.
#adopteevoices
#adopteevoices
“Everyone just needs to move on” said every perpetrator ever…
November 18, 2025 at 5:31 PM
“Everyone just needs to move on” said every perpetrator ever…
“Child welfare should mean honoring and respecting the child and not permanently changing their life and identity. Mothers should be supported to care for their child, not coerced into a decision no mother should ever have to make.”
#childwelfare
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
#childwelfare
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
Adoptees Imagine What Life Could’ve Been — I Actually Got to Live It for a Week
The ghost kingdom runs deep for adoptees. Many of us are separated from our very identity from birth and spend our entire lives searching for the pieces that were taken from us.
open.substack.com
November 18, 2025 at 6:42 AM
“Child welfare should mean honoring and respecting the child and not permanently changing their life and identity. Mothers should be supported to care for their child, not coerced into a decision no mother should ever have to make.”
#childwelfare
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
#childwelfare
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
Your pain doesn’t have to have a purpose - your life does. Your life’s purpose doesn’t have to change because you were subjected to trauma. You get to live the life you want to live and you don’t ‘owe’ anyone anything.
November 18, 2025 at 2:01 AM
Your pain doesn’t have to have a purpose - your life does. Your life’s purpose doesn’t have to change because you were subjected to trauma. You get to live the life you want to live and you don’t ‘owe’ anyone anything.
If you’re deconstructing religion, then you have to deconstruct adoption because this 25 billion dollar industry is fueled by high control religions that tell mothers they sinned, are not worthy, and that god intended their child for strangers that weekly fill collection plates. #adoptionawareness
November 17, 2025 at 8:04 PM
If you’re deconstructing religion, then you have to deconstruct adoption because this 25 billion dollar industry is fueled by high control religions that tell mothers they sinned, are not worthy, and that god intended their child for strangers that weekly fill collection plates. #adoptionawareness
Whenever a perpetrator releases something they’ve previously kept hidden you know they now feel confident that what they needed to erase and cover up is erased and covered up.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
November 17, 2025 at 4:11 PM
Whenever a perpetrator releases something they’ve previously kept hidden you know they now feel confident that what they needed to erase and cover up is erased and covered up.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
Adoption didn’t save me - it erased me.
#adopteevoices
#adopteevoices
November 17, 2025 at 4:03 PM
Adoption didn’t save me - it erased me.
#adopteevoices
#adopteevoices
Whenever you hear a man say that he came home and everything was gone and he has no idea why she left and took the kids but it must be because of money - you know there’s a very good reason and it isn’t money.
November 17, 2025 at 3:55 PM
Whenever you hear a man say that he came home and everything was gone and he has no idea why she left and took the kids but it must be because of money - you know there’s a very good reason and it isn’t money.
Adoption stole one of my most vital relationships - my mother. Everyone said it was what’s best for me and what’s best for her but in the end I lost my mother and she lost her child.
#adoptionawareness
#adoptionawareness
November 17, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Adoption stole one of my most vital relationships - my mother. Everyone said it was what’s best for me and what’s best for her but in the end I lost my mother and she lost her child.
#adoptionawareness
#adoptionawareness
“The truth is that many mean people ARE happy with themselves. The truth is that there are horrible people that really do enjoy hurting other people and harm for no other reason than that they. want. to.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
November 16, 2025 at 8:33 PM
“The truth is that many mean people ARE happy with themselves. The truth is that there are horrible people that really do enjoy hurting other people and harm for no other reason than that they. want. to.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
If people worried less about a survivor having a ‘victim mindset’ and worried more about a perpetrator’s mindset and holding them accountable - there’d be a lot less victims.
#stopvictimblaming
#stopvictimblaming
November 16, 2025 at 8:26 PM
If people worried less about a survivor having a ‘victim mindset’ and worried more about a perpetrator’s mindset and holding them accountable - there’d be a lot less victims.
#stopvictimblaming
#stopvictimblaming
Survivors are conditioned to believe that to ‘heal’ they have to get to a place of empathy for the perpetrator - no, you don’t! That’s not healing - that’s gaslighting. Stop feeling sorry for abusers. Stop making survivors responsible for a perpetrator’s redemption.
November 16, 2025 at 8:22 PM
Survivors are conditioned to believe that to ‘heal’ they have to get to a place of empathy for the perpetrator - no, you don’t! That’s not healing - that’s gaslighting. Stop feeling sorry for abusers. Stop making survivors responsible for a perpetrator’s redemption.
What a difference it would make if we listened to the first survivor the first time.
November 16, 2025 at 4:52 PM
What a difference it would make if we listened to the first survivor the first time.
So many people are devastated to have to live their lives without their mothers because of natural causes. I and so many adoptees had to live our lives without our mothers because they weren’t married and someone thought we were better off with strangers than our own mother. #adopteevoices
November 16, 2025 at 4:38 PM
So many people are devastated to have to live their lives without their mothers because of natural causes. I and so many adoptees had to live our lives without our mothers because they weren’t married and someone thought we were better off with strangers than our own mother. #adopteevoices
“The truth is, trauma reactions are a normal, human response to something you were never meant to experience. And trying to understand those reactions and the trauma you were subjected to isn’t living in the past — it’s surviving the present.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
Therapy Thursday | “Shame Isn’t Support” 💙
Quote Of The Day July 24th, 2025
open.substack.com
November 16, 2025 at 4:22 PM
“The truth is, trauma reactions are a normal, human response to something you were never meant to experience. And trying to understand those reactions and the trauma you were subjected to isn’t living in the past — it’s surviving the present.”
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
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#novictimblaming
worthywonderfulshop.etsy.com/listing/1138...
#novictimblaming
worthywonderfulshop.etsy.com/listing/1138...
November 16, 2025 at 1:42 AM
Looking for the perfect thing to wear for the holidays and stop unwanted conversations before they start at family gatherings?? We’ve got you!! Our exclusive “Expert in my Experience” is soft,cozy, and comes in 8 beautiful colors 💚
#novictimblaming
worthywonderfulshop.etsy.com/listing/1138...
#novictimblaming
worthywonderfulshop.etsy.com/listing/1138...
“Families are made from love not blood.” Yes and if you love a child you don’t take them from their family and erase their identity. The opposite of love is use. If you’re using a child to meet your needs - that’s not love. #adopteevoices
November 15, 2025 at 11:32 PM
“Families are made from love not blood.” Yes and if you love a child you don’t take them from their family and erase their identity. The opposite of love is use. If you’re using a child to meet your needs - that’s not love. #adopteevoices