Grandma got run over by a reindeer, for real this time.

Some cats knead or make biscuits as a form of comfort, mine makes tortillas.

My 8-hour workday today consists of 7-hourlong meetings.

I’m changing my job description to, “attends meetings that don’t pertain to him and he has no clue what he’s there for.”

Ordering pizza on a Monday night is self-care.

Dear humans,

Can you not?

Gracias.

Gotta kick off the 🎄 season right!!!

Take it away, DMX!

After 40, holding in a sneeze is a good way to pop and even injure your back.

another platform for me to talk to myself yay!!

The sad thing is that RFK Jr has somehow made people interested in the quality of drinking water but instead of channeling that concern towards PFAS & micro plastics he's got everyone worried about fluoride. Like FFS how did you get everyone to care about water but for the completely wrong reasons?

I miss video game rental stores. Shit is so expensive these days. I WISH I could just pay 5 to 10 bucks to play Mario and Luigi for like 5 days.