Oliver Darkshire
@deathbybadger.bsky.social
dire homosexual 🏳️🌈 - ONCE UPON A TOME [2022] 📚 - ISABELLA NAGG AND THE POT OF BASIL [2025] 🪴- One Page RPGS 🎲 (www.patreon.com/deathbybadger) - 🏠 Manchester, UK
https://linktr.ee/oliverdarkshire
https://linktr.ee/oliverdarkshire
Pinned
some exciting news: another book! announcing The Devil and Mrs Gooch, a fantasy in which our capricious friend The Devil falls head over hoof for dread entrepreneur Gwendolyn Gooch, and her latest diabolical scheme: the rented apartment. expect torrid results. releasing USA May 2026 from W.W. Norton
I was ambushed by a booktoker and unfortunately if I am surprised I default to candour so I think they asked what author I disliked and I was like well ayn rand can burn in hell but now I worry I misheard the question
November 16, 2025 at 3:03 PM
I was ambushed by a booktoker and unfortunately if I am surprised I default to candour so I think they asked what author I disliked and I was like well ayn rand can burn in hell but now I worry I misheard the question
Imagine challenging a god to anything in ancient greece, you'd be like "hey Apollo I bet you I'm more skilled at the flute" and he'd be like okay if you win I turn you into a goat and if you lose I will chase you randily for miles and then also turn you into a goat
November 16, 2025 at 10:22 AM
Imagine challenging a god to anything in ancient greece, you'd be like "hey Apollo I bet you I'm more skilled at the flute" and he'd be like okay if you win I turn you into a goat and if you lose I will chase you randily for miles and then also turn you into a goat
being an englishman in europe comes with unique complications such as "how do I make this machine of nozzles that only spits out coffee and nonsense dispense hot water for the dusty teabags I located on that shelf" as everyone looks on in bemused horror
November 16, 2025 at 8:45 AM
being an englishman in europe comes with unique complications such as "how do I make this machine of nozzles that only spits out coffee and nonsense dispense hot water for the dusty teabags I located on that shelf" as everyone looks on in bemused horror
I have arrived in Italy and I regret to report everyone is gorgeous, insane face cards flying around for zero reason, even the twink at the hotel desk is hot, what is in the water in this country, I feel like an english troll from under a bridge
November 14, 2025 at 9:24 PM
I have arrived in Italy and I regret to report everyone is gorgeous, insane face cards flying around for zero reason, even the twink at the hotel desk is hot, what is in the water in this country, I feel like an english troll from under a bridge
woe to us, who witness the screaming airport baby. screaming airport baby cannot be reasoned with. it cannot comprehend the suffering it inflicts. it is a phenomenon. a spirit of chaos sent to test us in troubled times. screaming airport baby what omens do you bring
November 14, 2025 at 3:02 PM
woe to us, who witness the screaming airport baby. screaming airport baby cannot be reasoned with. it cannot comprehend the suffering it inflicts. it is a phenomenon. a spirit of chaos sent to test us in troubled times. screaming airport baby what omens do you bring
I feel about planes how geralt of rivia feels about portals, yes they may be faster but you are tampering with unholy forces, man was not meant to travel this way, we moved on too quickly from travel by horse
November 14, 2025 at 12:36 PM
I feel about planes how geralt of rivia feels about portals, yes they may be faster but you are tampering with unholy forces, man was not meant to travel this way, we moved on too quickly from travel by horse
someone tried to fistbump me and I missed it, it wasn't even their fault it was a stationary target, like I aimed for it but I literally missed it so then we were both standing there staring at each other like what now
November 13, 2025 at 11:18 AM
someone tried to fistbump me and I missed it, it wasn't even their fault it was a stationary target, like I aimed for it but I literally missed it so then we were both standing there staring at each other like what now
do you think you would get thrown off the traitors if you made out with another man in the betrayal garden, would claudia call the police
November 13, 2025 at 6:35 AM
do you think you would get thrown off the traitors if you made out with another man in the betrayal garden, would claudia call the police
the weavings of the fates cannot be undone by mortal hand
Found a butterfly in my accommodation so I carefully picked it and took it outside, only for a crow to immediately fly down and snatch it midair 😱
November 12, 2025 at 12:34 PM
the weavings of the fates cannot be undone by mortal hand
I watched season 4 of the witcher so you don't have to and look I usually like enjoy fantasy show sex and blood as much as the next guy, and I'm not one to use the term torture porn lightly, but a few good actors can't rescue a script ghostwritten by the marquis de sade
November 12, 2025 at 12:29 AM
I watched season 4 of the witcher so you don't have to and look I usually like enjoy fantasy show sex and blood as much as the next guy, and I'm not one to use the term torture porn lightly, but a few good actors can't rescue a script ghostwritten by the marquis de sade
fellas is it maximum alpha to be crammed into a wooden horse with fifty other sweaty guys at 1.25x speed
*maximum alpha at 1.25x speed* continuously lives on in my head, unfortunately.
November 11, 2025 at 9:03 AM
fellas is it maximum alpha to be crammed into a wooden horse with fifty other sweaty guys at 1.25x speed
GOD: what are you doing
ANGEL: boning the humans
GOD: horniel, you have a flaming cloaca and that is a monkey, can that thing even consent, get back to work before I write you up, your nebulas are a mess
ANGEL: boning the humans
GOD: horniel, you have a flaming cloaca and that is a monkey, can that thing even consent, get back to work before I write you up, your nebulas are a mess
is having sex with angels considered monster-fucking
kind of in a weird mood today, should we have an off piste skeet
November 10, 2025 at 2:19 PM
GOD: what are you doing
ANGEL: boning the humans
GOD: horniel, you have a flaming cloaca and that is a monkey, can that thing even consent, get back to work before I write you up, your nebulas are a mess
ANGEL: boning the humans
GOD: horniel, you have a flaming cloaca and that is a monkey, can that thing even consent, get back to work before I write you up, your nebulas are a mess
Reposted by Oliver Darkshire
❤️ Enjoyment: 5/5 | 🖋 Writing: 5/5 | 🎭 Immersion: 4/5
Non-stop giggles at the fairytale style of the story of Isabella and hew newfound wizardry fixing everyone else's problems. I demand justice for the grimalkin!
#OliverDarkshire
#Fantasy
#Funny
#HodderAndStoughton
Non-stop giggles at the fairytale style of the story of Isabella and hew newfound wizardry fixing everyone else's problems. I demand justice for the grimalkin!
#OliverDarkshire
#Fantasy
#Funny
#HodderAndStoughton
November 8, 2025 at 2:31 PM
❤️ Enjoyment: 5/5 | 🖋 Writing: 5/5 | 🎭 Immersion: 4/5
Non-stop giggles at the fairytale style of the story of Isabella and hew newfound wizardry fixing everyone else's problems. I demand justice for the grimalkin!
#OliverDarkshire
#Fantasy
#Funny
#HodderAndStoughton
Non-stop giggles at the fairytale style of the story of Isabella and hew newfound wizardry fixing everyone else's problems. I demand justice for the grimalkin!
#OliverDarkshire
#Fantasy
#Funny
#HodderAndStoughton
the early seasons of the witcher really were great because Yennefer will say maybe we should do something about all this misogyny and the next nearest character will say something like what is she even talking about is someone a bit baby crazy what a magical fucking bitch
November 10, 2025 at 12:09 PM
the early seasons of the witcher really were great because Yennefer will say maybe we should do something about all this misogyny and the next nearest character will say something like what is she even talking about is someone a bit baby crazy what a magical fucking bitch
one of the reasons I love dungeons and dragons so much is that we can spend two years of our actual real lives preparing for a quest to imaginary Hell only for the group to be accidentally sorcerously deported mid-adventure because of the small print in a 2nd rank illusion spell
November 10, 2025 at 11:06 AM
one of the reasons I love dungeons and dragons so much is that we can spend two years of our actual real lives preparing for a quest to imaginary Hell only for the group to be accidentally sorcerously deported mid-adventure because of the small print in a 2nd rank illusion spell
holding a manuscript I haven't sent to anyone yet which I think is the faggiest thing I've ever written and there is a 1% chance it will ever see the light of day on a shelf, it is leaking deeply unstable pheromones, its going to get edits like "is that the correct adverb" and "what does this MEAN"
November 9, 2025 at 12:55 PM
holding a manuscript I haven't sent to anyone yet which I think is the faggiest thing I've ever written and there is a 1% chance it will ever see the light of day on a shelf, it is leaking deeply unstable pheromones, its going to get edits like "is that the correct adverb" and "what does this MEAN"
(writing a fantasy world)
elves have pointy ears
ugh no that's too basic
(scribbles)
e̵l̵v̵e̵s̵ g̵e̵l̵v̵e̵s̵ ̵b̵e̵l̵v̵e̵s̵ ̵melves have pointy ears
(holds the page at arms length)
a lot of people wont get it, but I stand by it
elves have pointy ears
ugh no that's too basic
(scribbles)
e̵l̵v̵e̵s̵ g̵e̵l̵v̵e̵s̵ ̵b̵e̵l̵v̵e̵s̵ ̵melves have pointy ears
(holds the page at arms length)
a lot of people wont get it, but I stand by it
November 8, 2025 at 12:39 PM
(writing a fantasy world)
elves have pointy ears
ugh no that's too basic
(scribbles)
e̵l̵v̵e̵s̵ g̵e̵l̵v̵e̵s̵ ̵b̵e̵l̵v̵e̵s̵ ̵melves have pointy ears
(holds the page at arms length)
a lot of people wont get it, but I stand by it
elves have pointy ears
ugh no that's too basic
(scribbles)
e̵l̵v̵e̵s̵ g̵e̵l̵v̵e̵s̵ ̵b̵e̵l̵v̵e̵s̵ ̵melves have pointy ears
(holds the page at arms length)
a lot of people wont get it, but I stand by it
at a stage of novel drafting I call Checking The Plates because in my first novel I made a mistake in an early chapter about who was holding a plate and it cost us months of edits as we moved the plate around, always causing more problems than it fixed, so now I check for plates
November 7, 2025 at 7:13 PM
at a stage of novel drafting I call Checking The Plates because in my first novel I made a mistake in an early chapter about who was holding a plate and it cost us months of edits as we moved the plate around, always causing more problems than it fixed, so now I check for plates
Reposted by Oliver Darkshire
Finally finished reading Isabella Nagg and the Pot of Basil by @deathbybadger.bsky.social
Very enjoyable - not copying Pratchett but hits several of the same notes for me. I look forward to seeing his future works :) And more footnotes.
Very enjoyable - not copying Pratchett but hits several of the same notes for me. I look forward to seeing his future works :) And more footnotes.
November 7, 2025 at 5:30 PM
Finally finished reading Isabella Nagg and the Pot of Basil by @deathbybadger.bsky.social
Very enjoyable - not copying Pratchett but hits several of the same notes for me. I look forward to seeing his future works :) And more footnotes.
Very enjoyable - not copying Pratchett but hits several of the same notes for me. I look forward to seeing his future works :) And more footnotes.
played Outer Worlds 2, which feels like it was written by janus the two headed god, its politics are all over the place, but the satire of corporations remains S tier, and the radio soundtrack is still in my head: eg ACCIDENTS HAPPENNN, ITS PART OF THE JOB🎶 and PURPLEBERRY KRUNCH, ITS PARASITE FREe🎵
November 7, 2025 at 9:54 AM
played Outer Worlds 2, which feels like it was written by janus the two headed god, its politics are all over the place, but the satire of corporations remains S tier, and the radio soundtrack is still in my head: eg ACCIDENTS HAPPENNN, ITS PART OF THE JOB🎶 and PURPLEBERRY KRUNCH, ITS PARASITE FREe🎵
my husband is going through one of his rare dominant phases so he's been texting some boys and yesterday he turns to me and goes 'are submissives always this easy' and i had to say yes its like fish in a barrel, you just say "come over" or "wear [x]" and they lose their minds
November 6, 2025 at 1:55 PM
my husband is going through one of his rare dominant phases so he's been texting some boys and yesterday he turns to me and goes 'are submissives always this easy' and i had to say yes its like fish in a barrel, you just say "come over" or "wear [x]" and they lose their minds
ODIN: ok, so a quiet week, any other business?
THOR: no
HEIMDALL: no
BALDUR: we could do something about the huge snake which goes all the way around the world
ODIN: omg baldur shut up
THOR: baldur you ragnacock
FREYJA: baldur you freak loser shut up
LOKI: we should kill baldur
THOR: no
HEIMDALL: no
BALDUR: we could do something about the huge snake which goes all the way around the world
ODIN: omg baldur shut up
THOR: baldur you ragnacock
FREYJA: baldur you freak loser shut up
LOKI: we should kill baldur
November 5, 2025 at 10:19 PM
ODIN: ok, so a quiet week, any other business?
THOR: no
HEIMDALL: no
BALDUR: we could do something about the huge snake which goes all the way around the world
ODIN: omg baldur shut up
THOR: baldur you ragnacock
FREYJA: baldur you freak loser shut up
LOKI: we should kill baldur
THOR: no
HEIMDALL: no
BALDUR: we could do something about the huge snake which goes all the way around the world
ODIN: omg baldur shut up
THOR: baldur you ragnacock
FREYJA: baldur you freak loser shut up
LOKI: we should kill baldur
I bought a little antique book of english fables and they all read like "once there was a bird. it was in a cage. it died, the end" or "there was a miller and he was very tall and he stayed at a tavern and he died, the end, the angels weep for the tall miller" is this my heritage
November 4, 2025 at 10:20 AM
I bought a little antique book of english fables and they all read like "once there was a bird. it was in a cage. it died, the end" or "there was a miller and he was very tall and he stayed at a tavern and he died, the end, the angels weep for the tall miller" is this my heritage
yesterday my husband was like '🤔 you have the blue Xbox controller because you're the BOY and *I* have the white controller because I'm the fag' and I was going to argue but ended up floundering
November 3, 2025 at 5:42 AM
yesterday my husband was like '🤔 you have the blue Xbox controller because you're the BOY and *I* have the white controller because I'm the fag' and I was going to argue but ended up floundering
ANUBIS: (presses button with paw) [guilty]
OSIRIS: im sorry he does this when he's hungry
ANUBIS: (button) [guilty] [bad] [food]
OSIRIS: you already ate
ANUBIS: (button) [bad] [bad] [bad]
OSIRIS: he's right though we weighed your heart against the feather and its not looking good
OSIRIS: im sorry he does this when he's hungry
ANUBIS: (button) [guilty] [bad] [food]
OSIRIS: you already ate
ANUBIS: (button) [bad] [bad] [bad]
OSIRIS: he's right though we weighed your heart against the feather and its not looking good
November 2, 2025 at 12:23 PM
ANUBIS: (presses button with paw) [guilty]
OSIRIS: im sorry he does this when he's hungry
ANUBIS: (button) [guilty] [bad] [food]
OSIRIS: you already ate
ANUBIS: (button) [bad] [bad] [bad]
OSIRIS: he's right though we weighed your heart against the feather and its not looking good
OSIRIS: im sorry he does this when he's hungry
ANUBIS: (button) [guilty] [bad] [food]
OSIRIS: you already ate
ANUBIS: (button) [bad] [bad] [bad]
OSIRIS: he's right though we weighed your heart against the feather and its not looking good