@dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social
Does my kid have the world's smelliest feet?
Or does she have the world's most always in my face feet?
Or does she have the world's most always in my face feet?
December 7, 2025 at 12:46 AM
Does my kid have the world's smelliest feet?
Or does she have the world's most always in my face feet?
Or does she have the world's most always in my face feet?
Second grade Gift of the Magi
My kid begged for new sneakers so she could match her best friend.
We said no, but I relented saying she could use her own money toward them.
Monday morning comes and she's so excited to show her best friend the matching sneakers
Except, the friend also got new shoes
My kid begged for new sneakers so she could match her best friend.
We said no, but I relented saying she could use her own money toward them.
Monday morning comes and she's so excited to show her best friend the matching sneakers
Except, the friend also got new shoes
November 17, 2025 at 5:51 PM
Second grade Gift of the Magi
My kid begged for new sneakers so she could match her best friend.
We said no, but I relented saying she could use her own money toward them.
Monday morning comes and she's so excited to show her best friend the matching sneakers
Except, the friend also got new shoes
My kid begged for new sneakers so she could match her best friend.
We said no, but I relented saying she could use her own money toward them.
Monday morning comes and she's so excited to show her best friend the matching sneakers
Except, the friend also got new shoes
This is the q-tip song. Don't stick them in your ear, just sing along.
November 17, 2025 at 1:21 AM
This is the q-tip song. Don't stick them in your ear, just sing along.
My kid: using her straw to transport liquid between two cups at a restaurant
Me: "Ceci n'est pas une pipette."
Me: "Ceci n'est pas une pipette."
November 14, 2025 at 12:37 AM
My kid: using her straw to transport liquid between two cups at a restaurant
Me: "Ceci n'est pas une pipette."
Me: "Ceci n'est pas une pipette."
20+ years ago, one of my high school teachers told me that I'd like Before Sunrise and that the movie reminded her of me.
I finally watched it and I can confirm that trains and French girls are things I enjoy.
I finally watched it and I can confirm that trains and French girls are things I enjoy.
November 8, 2025 at 4:05 AM
20+ years ago, one of my high school teachers told me that I'd like Before Sunrise and that the movie reminded her of me.
I finally watched it and I can confirm that trains and French girls are things I enjoy.
I finally watched it and I can confirm that trains and French girls are things I enjoy.
It's time to review the roster for my post apocalyptic adventuring guild.
What do you bring to the wasteland?
What do you bring to the wasteland?
November 8, 2025 at 12:07 AM
It's time to review the roster for my post apocalyptic adventuring guild.
What do you bring to the wasteland?
What do you bring to the wasteland?
There's a girl in full clown makeup on the bus and it's not even me. I love Halloween
October 30, 2025 at 1:17 PM
There's a girl in full clown makeup on the bus and it's not even me. I love Halloween
Every other post on the neighborhood Facebook page is asking when trick or treat is.
Little do they know I will show up in costume on their porch when they least expect it.
Little do they know I will show up in costume on their porch when they least expect it.
October 30, 2025 at 3:46 AM
Every other post on the neighborhood Facebook page is asking when trick or treat is.
Little do they know I will show up in costume on their porch when they least expect it.
Little do they know I will show up in costume on their porch when they least expect it.
Unfortunately, my brain was built to maximize whimsy and not profit so my officially pitched ideas to offload 100+ extra fundraiser pumpkins were to 1. Dress as a scarecrow and have a farm stand or 2. Dress as a pumpkin and bike around leaving artful arrangements on people's porches
October 23, 2025 at 1:24 AM
Unfortunately, my brain was built to maximize whimsy and not profit so my officially pitched ideas to offload 100+ extra fundraiser pumpkins were to 1. Dress as a scarecrow and have a farm stand or 2. Dress as a pumpkin and bike around leaving artful arrangements on people's porches
How did people make sewing patterns before seran wrap and duct tape?
October 18, 2025 at 1:49 AM
How did people make sewing patterns before seran wrap and duct tape?
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September 19, 2025 at 2:20 AM
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Reposted
may I speak with the primary poster in your household?
September 16, 2025 at 10:00 PM
may I speak with the primary poster in your household?
A transformer blew and most of my neighborhood is without power. My kid was playing across the street where they lost power and came home to where we still have power, saw the lights on and said "good, my protection spell is working" 💀
September 6, 2025 at 10:41 PM
A transformer blew and most of my neighborhood is without power. My kid was playing across the street where they lost power and came home to where we still have power, saw the lights on and said "good, my protection spell is working" 💀
As excited as I am to go to NYC to see Chappell Roan, I am even more grateful for the chance to see Jinkx Monsoon and Kumail Nanjiani in Oh, Mary!
August 8, 2025 at 11:45 PM
As excited as I am to go to NYC to see Chappell Roan, I am even more grateful for the chance to see Jinkx Monsoon and Kumail Nanjiani in Oh, Mary!
Me packing for camping
✅ Hammock
✅ Jug of cold brew
✅ Protein shake
✅ Pack of hot dogs
✅ Swimming suit
Done
✅ Hammock
✅ Jug of cold brew
✅ Protein shake
✅ Pack of hot dogs
✅ Swimming suit
Done
August 1, 2025 at 4:59 PM
Me packing for camping
✅ Hammock
✅ Jug of cold brew
✅ Protein shake
✅ Pack of hot dogs
✅ Swimming suit
Done
✅ Hammock
✅ Jug of cold brew
✅ Protein shake
✅ Pack of hot dogs
✅ Swimming suit
Done
Prize corner juice drops
July 27, 2025 at 12:40 AM
Prize corner juice drops
"why do you think people at Five Below are having crushes on you?"
July 20, 2025 at 5:40 PM
"why do you think people at Five Below are having crushes on you?"
✅ Quirky character actors
✅ Petty grievance quickly gives way to violence
✅ Ke Huy Quan riding a bicycle to his job as a realtor.
✅ Sean Astin in a comically large cowboy hat
✅ Petty grievance quickly gives way to violence
✅ Ke Huy Quan riding a bicycle to his job as a realtor.
✅ Sean Astin in a comically large cowboy hat
@lastpinepress.com and I watched 20 minutes of this movie because it started playing automatically after the last episode of Poker Face and we just thought it was another episode of Poker Face
July 3, 2025 at 2:48 AM
✅ Quirky character actors
✅ Petty grievance quickly gives way to violence
✅ Ke Huy Quan riding a bicycle to his job as a realtor.
✅ Sean Astin in a comically large cowboy hat
✅ Petty grievance quickly gives way to violence
✅ Ke Huy Quan riding a bicycle to his job as a realtor.
✅ Sean Astin in a comically large cowboy hat
The genre play was an actual spy movie that started playing automatically after the last Poker Face episode and we both thought it was an episode of Poker Face for 20 minutes
Catching up on Poker Face and I really love how much they're playing with genre this season. So much fun.
July 3, 2025 at 2:45 AM
The genre play was an actual spy movie that started playing automatically after the last Poker Face episode and we both thought it was an episode of Poker Face for 20 minutes
@lastpinepress.com and I watched 20 minutes of this movie because it started playing automatically after the last episode of Poker Face and we just thought it was another episode of Poker Face
July 3, 2025 at 2:44 AM
@lastpinepress.com and I watched 20 minutes of this movie because it started playing automatically after the last episode of Poker Face and we just thought it was another episode of Poker Face
My partner getting up to use the bathroom: "NOW IS THE TIME FOR PEE. Thank you for your attention to this matter "
June 22, 2025 at 5:28 PM
My partner getting up to use the bathroom: "NOW IS THE TIME FOR PEE. Thank you for your attention to this matter "
Bruv, we've seen Andor
June 10, 2025 at 6:09 PM
Bruv, we've seen Andor
Sixty years from now, they will wonder: "why did she use a glue gun to fix that?!?!"
June 9, 2025 at 3:59 AM
Sixty years from now, they will wonder: "why did she use a glue gun to fix that?!?!"
Checking my death perception at the Third Eye doctor
June 4, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Checking my death perception at the Third Eye doctor
They're sawing and processing the trees that were downed during the storm and it sounds like a hand mixer beating whipped cream in a giant metal bowl
May 16, 2025 at 4:22 AM
They're sawing and processing the trees that were downed during the storm and it sounds like a hand mixer beating whipped cream in a giant metal bowl