Is it easy??

No.

Not as easy as it would be to hand responsibility for yourself off to the government, because that’s what you were told that was best for you…

But that’s what delivered you here.

To this point.

You can be pissed, but the only way through is to empower yourself.

FIN. 🧵

There are valuable resources out there all over the place… completely free.

There is almost always a skill you can learn to solve your problems.

We have never had more access to information. 🧵

And eventually, when you realize that help REALLY isn’t coming…

That the system and the people around you are not willing or able to help you through whatever it is you’re going through…

You just have to decide there is another way, even if you don’t know what that looks like yet. 🧵

It’s an interesting new perspective to chew on, at least.

FIN. 🧵

She just really didn’t want to be poor.

She wanted to have a lot of money and be someone important.

She wanted all of us to have a lot of money and be important people.

And that’s not objectively terrible…

It’s just the things she did to get them… 🧵

I suuuuuper did not understand that she was trying to create and pass on some kind of legacy.

I just thought she was trying to give us a nice life, because that was an alternative that I could believe for the way she behaved. 🧵

That I didn’t have what it took.
I’d blown my chance at being great.

I just thought she meant that in general, I could not do it.

What she ACTUALLY meant was that she was not going to invest in my future the same way anymore if I was not going to play be her rules. 🧵

But she had no ability to control herself enough to be patient with my process, and so she just pummeled me.

The story was that I was “retarded,” and all your standard undiagnosed neurodivergent complaints that existed in the 90s and 2000s. 🧵

Before the sex trafficking it seems (in hindsight) that she had some kind of fantasy about me being some kind of child star.

I was always a performer, very magnetic.

I sucked at doing things the “right way,” but I was incredible at doing them the “wrong,” way. 🧵

To be clear: that was maybe a part of it…

But it was probably more about her designer show habit… 😂

But that’s how she sold me on it.

We were doing it for him.
Because he could get out of “this shit hole.”

(We had a super nice house. It was her dream house at one point. Idk, man. 😂) 🧵

After I processed the ramble about my brother, all of which was intuitive writing…

I got a download that had a memory of my mother and I talking about why I had to do “what I was supposed to do.”

And it was hyped up for my brother. So he could go to a special school. 🧵

I don’t ever want to go to bat for them, nor would I think my memories are reliable enough to create any kind of fair truth.

And that’s just knowing how flexible the truth really is.

It’s just not worth it to me.

Anyway! 🧵