I was in tears when she was telling me about it

Not my story, but a mate’s. Older couple, both pissheads both previously married, from their local got married and had the “do” at the pub. Bride’s knickers fell down during first dance and people were literally shoved to the ground in the rush for the buffet.

Same

It’s a bit “would you rather have this ice cream with gold on it, or a bowl of soup that someone’s shat in”.

“Pork” made me laugh though.

10. Had to guess Gunters, never heard of it before.

Has one, or more likely all, of them been done for noncing then?

Somethings wrong with the naan, it’s like the upside down peas in that picture

I had an XTC night yesterday.

Always the trendsetter…

Good to see the classics making a comeback.

What if you’ve got a St Bernard?

Semis are for grounds that are too big for their club.

Double Gloucester with chives.

* stares defiantly *

I wanted to run it, pretty sure I was going to break some records too. My mum said no though.

Eating a bacon sandwich, drinking tea, reading this.
Some might call me a renaissance man, I couldn’t possibly comment.

“Very bad timing” = “makes it difficult for me to blame everything on Zelensky”

I’ll be there in a few weeks, try and leave the place tidy will you?

7. Greeks, Dursleys & Neutrinos