i'm offended you think this was anything other than an artisanally hand crafted mental breakdown

there is no promise land no fields of wheat and honey the central standard time cannot hold the clock was hubris made manifest by the sins of man existence is pain what even could a timezone be when time itself is a construct t̵̡̥̝̀̌͋̄͒͐̋̍͆͑͆h̶̟̐̊̈́͂̔̿͠͝͝ȩ̷̡̱̥̥̬͇̭̫̩̤̦̄̏̍̌́ŗ̴̨̼͈̣̺̫̱͈̗̘̺̓͛̓͜͜ͅe̴̛̩̤̤̣̯̺̼̪̊̍̇̇̒͐̈͌͘̚ ̸̭͎̹̫̺̠̍̍͑̉͐͋͘̚ḭ̸̧̧̛̠̲͍̘̹̭͍̩̯̟̬͉͓͑͐̀̒̅̄͑͋̓̓̓̏͛͂͌͘ͅs̶̫͎̮͙̫̦̗̟͙̗̜̥̦̠̈́̈͛͋̐̿̋͌̈̄̓̒̾̄͛͘͘ ̴̨̭̹̺̬̰̲̗͈̹͕̈͂ṅ̶̢̺̮̲͕̯̬͈́͑̂̿͆̈́̄̈͛̏͌̈͜ͅͅơ̵̛̼͉͑̑̃̀͗̆̊͑͛̔͌̔̈́̚ ̷͎̘͖͙̪͙̮̣̟̤̀̂͛͜͝h̶̻̪̬̟̹̰̞̱̱̬̖̻̻̙̅̃͛ȯ̷̢̡̩̭̬̫̤͚͒̅̓̀͐̍̇̽̔̂͊͋́͘̕p̶̧͈͖̮͔̓̇͂̿̇̐̂̓̚̕ề̸̡̨̧̨̙̜̜̲̳̼͕͍͇̰̤̅̓͂̈́̅̌́̈́͌̽̕ ̸̳̜̻̫̠̜̰͙̳̫̼͍̘͓̒̾̂́̉̎̂̃̓̓͠á̷̢̦̭̝̲̩̾͗́̄̏̽̃̔͆̂̐́̚͠l̷͍̹̞̱̹̣̮͛͐͛̔̀͂̓̎͊͌͜͜ͅĺ̷͕̩̼̙̫̐̈̈̈͋̊̄̈̎̚ͅ ̵͇̞̞̪̽̅̇̅͒̀̌̆͆̈́̇̔̄͑̃͝ȋ̶̼̼͎͉̜̰̬͇̥͊̾̐̊̌̽̆̑̇͂̄̑̽̕͝s̶̢̧̟͉͚̩̯̱̻̘̩͉̆̈́̊͒͆̀̍͠͝ ̶̨͙͖̹̗̰̯͎͍̟̜̰̞̘̌̿̅̄͒̀̃͐̽͒̏̃͒̕n̵̢̫̤̙̭̼̲̼̬̱͓̟̬̓͛͘̚ï̵̖̐́́̅̇g̷̢̰͓̯͇̙̣̝͈̹͙̭̬̳͕̎̔͌̇̒̒̅̕h̵̩͔̘͕̞͉̤̠͍̳͍̹̠͆̒͜t̷͓̼̲̩͈̬͕̻̃̿ ̴̢̢̢̯̙̟͙̥̝̯͕͚̻͕̤̗͋̎̇̚ͅz̷͉͈͙̱̙̗̞̙̹̺̹̭̩̲̙̖̈͛̊͌̽̈́̈́̽͗͆̔̕͝͝a̶̙̿͑̎͂̚l̷̞̞͙͔̄͌͒͐̎͋̃g̶̡̧͈̥͈̣̜̳̣͎͈̮̫͈̥̎͜o̷̡̳̺̯̟͎̗̺̣͉̳͋̈́͑́́͐͝ ̵̨̧̜̺̲͓͎͔͍̦̹͚͖̟̮͇̼͊͐̓͌́͊́h̸͖̱͉̳̃̆̑̃͑͂͊͌́̚͝é̵̢̢̛̯̖͙̯̫̣̗̟̭̘̳̯̟͓͆͌̀͒͛̎̃̏̕͠ ̸̹͓̹̫̯̬̩̑͜c̷̩̼͕̈̉̋̂̏̄̆̎̽̕͜͝͝o̷̭͆̀m̶̡̡̤͙͔̬̙̙̫̰̝͕̰̻̝̟̈́̓̉̓̈̓͘ḙ̷̢̣̼̮̠͕̱̩̙͐͐̄̚͜s̶̡̥̺͖̦͖̯͎͉̜͚͚̠̥̯̔̅̈́̃̅̿̀̄̾̈́̽̔͘͜ͅ

also "happy birthday" or whatever the kids say these days

ugh fine trigger my candle addiction and my desire to support my friends

Too late I already politely chuckled at it

sometimes i worry i overuse flexbox, but then i remember the Before Times™ and get back to flexing the boxes

It’s a Codd-damned nightmare is what it is

Tierney is a child and I think is confused about what an antenna has to do with videos

🏴‍☠️

It’s what I imagine when Flighty, TripIt, Delta, and Apple Messages all conspire to remind me how much my day is about to suck

ESPECIALLY if he comes in as his character in Get Shorty