Dawson400🥃
@dawson400.bsky.social
BlueSky bio is loading… Always give 💯%. Unless you’re donating blood. Just another papercut survivor!
USC Friday Night Lights
November 10, 2025 at 5:18 PM
USC Friday Night Lights
When you press 1 for English and still need a translator for the translator.
“Thank you ford Collin eighty & T” I’m calling customer support, not auditioning for a Dr. Seuss remix!
#CustomerServiceFails #LostInTranslation #Press1ForConfusion #CallCenterComedy #SpeechToMessUp #ThankYouFordReal
“Thank you ford Collin eighty & T” I’m calling customer support, not auditioning for a Dr. Seuss remix!
#CustomerServiceFails #LostInTranslation #Press1ForConfusion #CallCenterComedy #SpeechToMessUp #ThankYouFordReal
May 8, 2025 at 11:46 PM
When you press 1 for English and still need a translator for the translator.
“Thank you ford Collin eighty & T” I’m calling customer support, not auditioning for a Dr. Seuss remix!
#CustomerServiceFails #LostInTranslation #Press1ForConfusion #CallCenterComedy #SpeechToMessUp #ThankYouFordReal
“Thank you ford Collin eighty & T” I’m calling customer support, not auditioning for a Dr. Seuss remix!
#CustomerServiceFails #LostInTranslation #Press1ForConfusion #CallCenterComedy #SpeechToMessUp #ThankYouFordReal
The U.S. Army’s planning a parade for its anniversary and Trump’s birthday because nothing says ‘military strength’ like tanks, fireworks, and a 78-year-old man demanding cake shaped like the Constitution he forgot to read!
#ArmyParadeMadness
#BirthdayBattalion
#TankAndCake
#StarsStripesAndSprinkles
#ArmyParadeMadness
#BirthdayBattalion
#TankAndCake
#StarsStripesAndSprinkles
May 6, 2025 at 2:05 PM
The U.S. Army’s planning a parade for its anniversary and Trump’s birthday because nothing says ‘military strength’ like tanks, fireworks, and a 78-year-old man demanding cake shaped like the Constitution he forgot to read!
#ArmyParadeMadness
#BirthdayBattalion
#TankAndCake
#StarsStripesAndSprinkles
#ArmyParadeMadness
#BirthdayBattalion
#TankAndCake
#StarsStripesAndSprinkles
“They gave me $1,000 to self-deport. Next thing I know, I’m launched out of the country by a giant ACME slingshot, midair with a suitcase in one hand and a burrito in the other. I crash through customs like a Looney Tune character!
#SelfDeportationChronicles
#LooneyTunesLife
#ACMESlingshotExpress
#SelfDeportationChronicles
#LooneyTunesLife
#ACMESlingshotExpress
May 6, 2025 at 1:48 PM
“They gave me $1,000 to self-deport. Next thing I know, I’m launched out of the country by a giant ACME slingshot, midair with a suitcase in one hand and a burrito in the other. I crash through customs like a Looney Tune character!
#SelfDeportationChronicles
#LooneyTunesLife
#ACMESlingshotExpress
#SelfDeportationChronicles
#LooneyTunesLife
#ACMESlingshotExpress
Over 6,000,000 million ppl eligible for deportation in America 🇺🇸 that’s crazy 😳. Be safe out there!!
January 27, 2025 at 6:59 PM
Over 6,000,000 million ppl eligible for deportation in America 🇺🇸 that’s crazy 😳. Be safe out there!!
Me on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday:
January 27, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Me on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday:
Attention, valued customers: We do NOT sell Tuna Milkshakes. 🐟🥤 If you’re craving that… you’re on your own. Please don’t ask, because we’ll need therapy if you do. #NoTunaShakes #FishyRequests #DairyDisaster #BoundariesPeople
January 25, 2025 at 4:46 PM
Attention, valued customers: We do NOT sell Tuna Milkshakes. 🐟🥤 If you’re craving that… you’re on your own. Please don’t ask, because we’ll need therapy if you do. #NoTunaShakes #FishyRequests #DairyDisaster #BoundariesPeople
Well, fuckadoodle-doo! Top of the mornin’ to you BlueSky, sunshine! ☀️ 🌞 #RiseAndGrind #CluckYeah #MorningsBeLike
January 25, 2025 at 4:42 PM
Well, fuckadoodle-doo! Top of the mornin’ to you BlueSky, sunshine! ☀️ 🌞 #RiseAndGrind #CluckYeah #MorningsBeLike
“No work tomorrow? Bet! Sleep finna hit harder than a grandma’s fried chicken on Sunday!” #NoWorkTomorrow #SleepHittingLikeAFullCourseMeal #CatchMeInTheBedLikeI’mTrapped #OutLikeALight
January 24, 2025 at 5:11 AM
“No work tomorrow? Bet! Sleep finna hit harder than a grandma’s fried chicken on Sunday!” #NoWorkTomorrow #SleepHittingLikeAFullCourseMeal #CatchMeInTheBedLikeI’mTrapped #OutLikeALight
Thank You Simpsons!! 😊🫡
January 18, 2025 at 2:07 PM
Thank You Simpsons!! 😊🫡
I have don’t the whole list… 😳😊😆😂
January 18, 2025 at 2:36 AM
I have don’t the whole list… 😳😊😆😂
“When my kid calls me from the nurse's office at the school and says "Daddy, Im sick. Can
you come get me please?"
you come get me please?"
January 17, 2025 at 7:09 PM
“When my kid calls me from the nurse's office at the school and says "Daddy, Im sick. Can
you come get me please?"
you come get me please?"
Me: I'm so broke, I wish I had some more hours at work.
Boss: Who wants to leave early today?
#BrokeLife #NeedMoreHours #StayAtWork #BossMoves #Relatable #WorkStruggles #CantAffordToLeave #TeamNoSleep #HustleHarder #EmployeeLife
Me:
Boss: Who wants to leave early today?
#BrokeLife #NeedMoreHours #StayAtWork #BossMoves #Relatable #WorkStruggles #CantAffordToLeave #TeamNoSleep #HustleHarder #EmployeeLife
Me:
January 17, 2025 at 5:08 PM
Me: I'm so broke, I wish I had some more hours at work.
Boss: Who wants to leave early today?
#BrokeLife #NeedMoreHours #StayAtWork #BossMoves #Relatable #WorkStruggles #CantAffordToLeave #TeamNoSleep #HustleHarder #EmployeeLife
Me:
Boss: Who wants to leave early today?
#BrokeLife #NeedMoreHours #StayAtWork #BossMoves #Relatable #WorkStruggles #CantAffordToLeave #TeamNoSleep #HustleHarder #EmployeeLife
Me:
Good evening, BlueSky! Survived another episode of Life: The Overdramatic Saga. Now it’s time for a classy nightcap before I face-plant into my pillow like a champion. #LivingTheDream #GoodNightChaos
January 17, 2025 at 2:35 AM
Good evening, BlueSky! Survived another episode of Life: The Overdramatic Saga. Now it’s time for a classy nightcap before I face-plant into my pillow like a champion. #LivingTheDream #GoodNightChaos
“Remember when you’d log into AOL and the dial-up tone was basically your theme song? Then you’d wait 3 hours to load one blurry pic, only to hear your mom yell, ‘Get off, I need the phone!’ Simpler times. #Throwback #AOLDays #90sKids #DialUpStruggles”
January 16, 2025 at 10:08 PM
“Remember when you’d log into AOL and the dial-up tone was basically your theme song? Then you’d wait 3 hours to load one blurry pic, only to hear your mom yell, ‘Get off, I need the phone!’ Simpler times. #Throwback #AOLDays #90sKids #DialUpStruggles”
Good Morning ☀️ BlueSky 😁 #ImAwake #NotBrightEyed #DefinitelyNotBushyTailed #GoCatchASquirrel #MorningMood #CoffeeFirst #SassyAndSleepy #NoTailNoProblem #RealTalk
January 15, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Good Morning ☀️ BlueSky 😁 #ImAwake #NotBrightEyed #DefinitelyNotBushyTailed #GoCatchASquirrel #MorningMood #CoffeeFirst #SassyAndSleepy #NoTailNoProblem #RealTalk
Tired doesn’t even cover it … #Exhausted
#Drained
#BurntOut
#Overwhelmed
#NeedRest
#RunningOnEmpty
#MentallyDrained
#PhysicallyExhausted
#Can’tEven
#SoDone
#NoEnergy
#LifeBeLike
#TooMuch
#Drained
#BurntOut
#Overwhelmed
#NeedRest
#RunningOnEmpty
#MentallyDrained
#PhysicallyExhausted
#Can’tEven
#SoDone
#NoEnergy
#LifeBeLike
#TooMuch
January 15, 2025 at 12:15 AM
Top of Morning ☀️ BlueSky
January 14, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Top of Morning ☀️ BlueSky
G’Morning BlueSky ☀️
January 13, 2025 at 7:03 PM
G’Morning BlueSky ☀️
“Could really go for one of these bad boys right now. Only if it comes with the wooden spoon, though. The wood is half the flavor.” #DessertCravings #IceCreamDreams #WoodenSpoonMagic #FlavorUpgrade #SweetTooth
January 10, 2025 at 4:31 PM
“Could really go for one of these bad boys right now. Only if it comes with the wooden spoon, though. The wood is half the flavor.” #DessertCravings #IceCreamDreams #WoodenSpoonMagic #FlavorUpgrade #SweetTooth
January 10, 2025 at 4:22 PM