Dawson400🥃
@dawson400.bsky.social
BlueSky bio is loading… Always give 💯%. Unless you’re donating blood. Just another papercut survivor!
USC Friday Night Lights
November 10, 2025 at 5:18 PM
USC Friday Night Lights
“Y’ALL HAD 9 MONTHS TO FIX THAT AC:
BUT Y’ALL CHOSE CRAB LEGS…
NOW LOOK WHO BOILIN” 😭🔥💦 1. #ACStoodNoChance
#BoilinForCrablegs
#SeafoodOverCentralAir
#SweatinAndRegrettin
#HotterThanTheBoilPot
#ShrimpsOverComfort
#CrabLegsOrBust
#YallChoseTheSteamLife
BUT Y’ALL CHOSE CRAB LEGS…
NOW LOOK WHO BOILIN” 😭🔥💦 1. #ACStoodNoChance
#BoilinForCrablegs
#SeafoodOverCentralAir
#SweatinAndRegrettin
#HotterThanTheBoilPot
#ShrimpsOverComfort
#CrabLegsOrBust
#YallChoseTheSteamLife
June 25, 2025 at 11:14 PM
“Y’ALL HAD 9 MONTHS TO FIX THAT AC:
BUT Y’ALL CHOSE CRAB LEGS…
NOW LOOK WHO BOILIN” 😭🔥💦 1. #ACStoodNoChance
#BoilinForCrablegs
#SeafoodOverCentralAir
#SweatinAndRegrettin
#HotterThanTheBoilPot
#ShrimpsOverComfort
#CrabLegsOrBust
#YallChoseTheSteamLife
BUT Y’ALL CHOSE CRAB LEGS…
NOW LOOK WHO BOILIN” 😭🔥💦 1. #ACStoodNoChance
#BoilinForCrablegs
#SeafoodOverCentralAir
#SweatinAndRegrettin
#HotterThanTheBoilPot
#ShrimpsOverComfort
#CrabLegsOrBust
#YallChoseTheSteamLife
“Buying groceries with no food stamps
should boost yo credit score.”Here you go:
#BuyingGroceriesWithNoStamps
#GetToastedAndLaugh
#AdultingHard
#CreditScoreShouldJump
#BrokeButTrying
#SwipePrayRepeat
#LaughThroughTheStruggle
should boost yo credit score.”Here you go:
#BuyingGroceriesWithNoStamps
#GetToastedAndLaugh
#AdultingHard
#CreditScoreShouldJump
#BrokeButTrying
#SwipePrayRepeat
#LaughThroughTheStruggle
June 24, 2025 at 11:04 PM
“Buying groceries with no food stamps
should boost yo credit score.”Here you go:
#BuyingGroceriesWithNoStamps
#GetToastedAndLaugh
#AdultingHard
#CreditScoreShouldJump
#BrokeButTrying
#SwipePrayRepeat
#LaughThroughTheStruggle
should boost yo credit score.”Here you go:
#BuyingGroceriesWithNoStamps
#GetToastedAndLaugh
#AdultingHard
#CreditScoreShouldJump
#BrokeButTrying
#SwipePrayRepeat
#LaughThroughTheStruggle
When you're so behind on your bills, that the power company comes and blows out your candles like "bitch we said no lights!"
#LightsOutForReal
#CandleEviction
#BillCollectorSavage
#PowerCompanyPetty
#NoLightsNoMercy
#DebtGotMeInTheDark
#EvenMyCandlesGotCutOff
#LightsOutForReal
#CandleEviction
#BillCollectorSavage
#PowerCompanyPetty
#NoLightsNoMercy
#DebtGotMeInTheDark
#EvenMyCandlesGotCutOff
June 20, 2025 at 6:47 PM
When you're so behind on your bills, that the power company comes and blows out your candles like "bitch we said no lights!"
#LightsOutForReal
#CandleEviction
#BillCollectorSavage
#PowerCompanyPetty
#NoLightsNoMercy
#DebtGotMeInTheDark
#EvenMyCandlesGotCutOff
#LightsOutForReal
#CandleEviction
#BillCollectorSavage
#PowerCompanyPetty
#NoLightsNoMercy
#DebtGotMeInTheDark
#EvenMyCandlesGotCutOff
Imagine reading a book with no way to turn back the page…
How carefully would you read it?
That’s life no rewinds, just lessons.
#LiveIntentionally #NoDoOvers #MindfulLiving #LifeIsPrecious #OneShotAtLife #ReadCarefully #MakeItCount #LifeWisdom
How carefully would you read it?
That’s life no rewinds, just lessons.
#LiveIntentionally #NoDoOvers #MindfulLiving #LifeIsPrecious #OneShotAtLife #ReadCarefully #MakeItCount #LifeWisdom
June 18, 2025 at 8:26 PM
Imagine reading a book with no way to turn back the page…
How carefully would you read it?
That’s life no rewinds, just lessons.
#LiveIntentionally #NoDoOvers #MindfulLiving #LifeIsPrecious #OneShotAtLife #ReadCarefully #MakeItCount #LifeWisdom
How carefully would you read it?
That’s life no rewinds, just lessons.
#LiveIntentionally #NoDoOvers #MindfulLiving #LifeIsPrecious #OneShotAtLife #ReadCarefully #MakeItCount #LifeWisdom
If I wrote a book called “How to Fail” and it didn’t sell a single copy… that’s a bestseller in reverse! Mission *un-*accomplished exactly as planned! 💀📉
#HowToFail
#FailingWithStyle
#BestsellerInReverse
#UnintentionalSuccess
#EpicFailWin
#FlopGoals
#MasterOfFailure
#FailureExpert
#HowToFail
#FailingWithStyle
#BestsellerInReverse
#UnintentionalSuccess
#EpicFailWin
#FlopGoals
#MasterOfFailure
#FailureExpert
June 17, 2025 at 10:15 PM
If I wrote a book called “How to Fail” and it didn’t sell a single copy… that’s a bestseller in reverse! Mission *un-*accomplished exactly as planned! 💀📉
#HowToFail
#FailingWithStyle
#BestsellerInReverse
#UnintentionalSuccess
#EpicFailWin
#FlopGoals
#MasterOfFailure
#FailureExpert
#HowToFail
#FailingWithStyle
#BestsellerInReverse
#UnintentionalSuccess
#EpicFailWin
#FlopGoals
#MasterOfFailure
#FailureExpert
“A baby can drink a bottle and fall asleep and it's called cute but soon as l do it, I'm called a drunk”🤦🏾♂️😂😂😂
#DoubleStandards
#AdultingIsHard
#LetMeNapToo
#BottleServiceGoneWrong
#WhyCantIBeCute
#DrunkButAdorable
#NapGoals
#IGotMilkToo
#DoubleStandards
#AdultingIsHard
#LetMeNapToo
#BottleServiceGoneWrong
#WhyCantIBeCute
#DrunkButAdorable
#NapGoals
#IGotMilkToo
June 16, 2025 at 8:54 PM
“A baby can drink a bottle and fall asleep and it's called cute but soon as l do it, I'm called a drunk”🤦🏾♂️😂😂😂
#DoubleStandards
#AdultingIsHard
#LetMeNapToo
#BottleServiceGoneWrong
#WhyCantIBeCute
#DrunkButAdorable
#NapGoals
#IGotMilkToo
#DoubleStandards
#AdultingIsHard
#LetMeNapToo
#BottleServiceGoneWrong
#WhyCantIBeCute
#DrunkButAdorable
#NapGoals
#IGotMilkToo
“ICE raids in SoCal got more episodes than Law & Order. They out here throwing flashbangs at onlookers like, “Don’t look at us in English or Spanish!”🤦🏾♂️
#ICEOrCallOfDuty
#RaidsAndRacism
#FlashbangFriday
#DeportationDrama
#SoCalSurvivalGuide
#ICEOrCallOfDuty
#RaidsAndRacism
#FlashbangFriday
#DeportationDrama
#SoCalSurvivalGuide
June 7, 2025 at 6:21 PM
“ICE raids in SoCal got more episodes than Law & Order. They out here throwing flashbangs at onlookers like, “Don’t look at us in English or Spanish!”🤦🏾♂️
#ICEOrCallOfDuty
#RaidsAndRacism
#FlashbangFriday
#DeportationDrama
#SoCalSurvivalGuide
#ICEOrCallOfDuty
#RaidsAndRacism
#FlashbangFriday
#DeportationDrama
#SoCalSurvivalGuide
Trump and Elon broke up 💔 apparently, Elon wanted space… and Trump wanted a new planet to ban immigrants from. Now they’re subtweeting each other like exes who shared a Twitter password. 🚀🇺🇸 #MAGAAndMars #ToxicBillionaires #TwitterBreakup #RedHatsAndRedFlags #ElonBlockedMe
June 7, 2025 at 4:18 PM
Trump and Elon broke up 💔 apparently, Elon wanted space… and Trump wanted a new planet to ban immigrants from. Now they’re subtweeting each other like exes who shared a Twitter password. 🚀🇺🇸 #MAGAAndMars #ToxicBillionaires #TwitterBreakup #RedHatsAndRedFlags #ElonBlockedMe
🚨BreakingNews:🚨
When ICE officers accidentally lock themselves in a shipping container full of people they’re trying to deport: 😳🚢 “So… anyone got the key, or nah?” 🔑😅 #InstantKarma #LockedUpAbroad #ReverseUnoCard #ContainerChronicles #IceIceBaby
When ICE officers accidentally lock themselves in a shipping container full of people they’re trying to deport: 😳🚢 “So… anyone got the key, or nah?” 🔑😅 #InstantKarma #LockedUpAbroad #ReverseUnoCard #ContainerChronicles #IceIceBaby
June 7, 2025 at 12:11 AM
🚨BreakingNews:🚨
When ICE officers accidentally lock themselves in a shipping container full of people they’re trying to deport: 😳🚢 “So… anyone got the key, or nah?” 🔑😅 #InstantKarma #LockedUpAbroad #ReverseUnoCard #ContainerChronicles #IceIceBaby
When ICE officers accidentally lock themselves in a shipping container full of people they’re trying to deport: 😳🚢 “So… anyone got the key, or nah?” 🔑😅 #InstantKarma #LockedUpAbroad #ReverseUnoCard #ContainerChronicles #IceIceBaby
“Some of y’all don’t wanna know the answer, you just like hearin’ yourself interrogate.
‘Where you goin?’
‘Who wit you?’
‘What time you leave?’
‘Why your left sock higher than the right?’
Damn, Detective! I’m just goin’ to get tacos. 💀
#ImNotOnTrial #QuestionnaireEnergy #LetMeBreathe
‘Where you goin?’
‘Who wit you?’
‘What time you leave?’
‘Why your left sock higher than the right?’
Damn, Detective! I’m just goin’ to get tacos. 💀
#ImNotOnTrial #QuestionnaireEnergy #LetMeBreathe
June 5, 2025 at 9:20 PM
“Some of y’all don’t wanna know the answer, you just like hearin’ yourself interrogate.
‘Where you goin?’
‘Who wit you?’
‘What time you leave?’
‘Why your left sock higher than the right?’
Damn, Detective! I’m just goin’ to get tacos. 💀
#ImNotOnTrial #QuestionnaireEnergy #LetMeBreathe
‘Where you goin?’
‘Who wit you?’
‘What time you leave?’
‘Why your left sock higher than the right?’
Damn, Detective! I’m just goin’ to get tacos. 💀
#ImNotOnTrial #QuestionnaireEnergy #LetMeBreathe
Stages of listening to a slow talker”
👂🏾 Interested
😐 Concerned
😩 Aging
🧓🏾 Ready for retirement
#AintNoIntermission #SpeedItUpCousin #BlackTikTokTiming
👂🏾 Interested
😐 Concerned
😩 Aging
🧓🏾 Ready for retirement
#AintNoIntermission #SpeedItUpCousin #BlackTikTokTiming
June 5, 2025 at 12:03 AM
Stages of listening to a slow talker”
👂🏾 Interested
😐 Concerned
😩 Aging
🧓🏾 Ready for retirement
#AintNoIntermission #SpeedItUpCousin #BlackTikTokTiming
👂🏾 Interested
😐 Concerned
😩 Aging
🧓🏾 Ready for retirement
#AintNoIntermission #SpeedItUpCousin #BlackTikTokTiming
“When they walk in your job at 4:59 with paperwork thicker than a Sunday sermon 🙄”
#TheAudacity #CloseAt5NotStartAt5 #OfficePTSD
#TheAudacity #CloseAt5NotStartAt5 #OfficePTSD
June 4, 2025 at 11:58 PM
“When they walk in your job at 4:59 with paperwork thicker than a Sunday sermon 🙄”
#TheAudacity #CloseAt5NotStartAt5 #OfficePTSD
#TheAudacity #CloseAt5NotStartAt5 #OfficePTSD
“Y’all remember manners?
Cuz coughing without covering your mouth in 2025 is a hate crime.” 🫤🤥🙄
#TheAudacity #AirborneAndAin’tSorry #WeStillInAPandemonium
Cuz coughing without covering your mouth in 2025 is a hate crime.” 🫤🤥🙄
#TheAudacity #AirborneAndAin’tSorry #WeStillInAPandemonium
June 4, 2025 at 11:56 PM
“Y’all remember manners?
Cuz coughing without covering your mouth in 2025 is a hate crime.” 🫤🤥🙄
#TheAudacity #AirborneAndAin’tSorry #WeStillInAPandemonium
Cuz coughing without covering your mouth in 2025 is a hate crime.” 🫤🤥🙄
#TheAudacity #AirborneAndAin’tSorry #WeStillInAPandemonium
🗣️ “I said ONE RIB!”
Me trying to stretch $7 ’til payday: “Lemme get one wing… no sauce… just vibes.”😂
#BrokeMenuTalk #InflationIsGhetto #OneRibEnergy
Me trying to stretch $7 ’til payday: “Lemme get one wing… no sauce… just vibes.”😂
#BrokeMenuTalk #InflationIsGhetto #OneRibEnergy
June 4, 2025 at 10:57 PM
🗣️ “I said ONE RIB!”
Me trying to stretch $7 ’til payday: “Lemme get one wing… no sauce… just vibes.”😂
#BrokeMenuTalk #InflationIsGhetto #OneRibEnergy
Me trying to stretch $7 ’til payday: “Lemme get one wing… no sauce… just vibes.”😂
#BrokeMenuTalk #InflationIsGhetto #OneRibEnergy
“I’m not gonna call him Dad… even if there’s a fire.”
“Me refusing to call my manager “sir” just because he wears a blazer.
#StepBrothersEnergy #CorporateStepChild
“Me refusing to call my manager “sir” just because he wears a blazer.
#StepBrothersEnergy #CorporateStepChild
June 4, 2025 at 10:51 PM
“I’m not gonna call him Dad… even if there’s a fire.”
“Me refusing to call my manager “sir” just because he wears a blazer.
#StepBrothersEnergy #CorporateStepChild
“Me refusing to call my manager “sir” just because he wears a blazer.
#StepBrothersEnergy #CorporateStepChild
📞 Me calling HR on a Wednesday:
“Hi yes, is it legal to work three days in a row without a nap, a margarita, or emotional support?”
#HumpDayHysteria
#OfficeSurvivor
#MidweekMeltdown
#HRPleaseHold
#WorkweekWoes
#EmotionalSupportNeeded
“Hi yes, is it legal to work three days in a row without a nap, a margarita, or emotional support?”
#HumpDayHysteria
#OfficeSurvivor
#MidweekMeltdown
#HRPleaseHold
#WorkweekWoes
#EmotionalSupportNeeded
June 4, 2025 at 10:47 PM
📞 Me calling HR on a Wednesday:
“Hi yes, is it legal to work three days in a row without a nap, a margarita, or emotional support?”
#HumpDayHysteria
#OfficeSurvivor
#MidweekMeltdown
#HRPleaseHold
#WorkweekWoes
#EmotionalSupportNeeded
“Hi yes, is it legal to work three days in a row without a nap, a margarita, or emotional support?”
#HumpDayHysteria
#OfficeSurvivor
#MidweekMeltdown
#HRPleaseHold
#WorkweekWoes
#EmotionalSupportNeeded
“if they don't let me merge, i'm merging regardless. We can both get new cars”🤬😂💯
#MergeOrCrash
#WeBothGettingNewWhips
#InsuranceGonHateMe
#MyTurnSignalWasManifesting
#NoYieldJustDrive
#MergeOrCrash
#WeBothGettingNewWhips
#InsuranceGonHateMe
#MyTurnSignalWasManifesting
#NoYieldJustDrive
June 4, 2025 at 8:52 PM
“if they don't let me merge, i'm merging regardless. We can both get new cars”🤬😂💯
#MergeOrCrash
#WeBothGettingNewWhips
#InsuranceGonHateMe
#MyTurnSignalWasManifesting
#NoYieldJustDrive
#MergeOrCrash
#WeBothGettingNewWhips
#InsuranceGonHateMe
#MyTurnSignalWasManifesting
#NoYieldJustDrive
“Do crabs have thighs? Cause I'm tired of the legs... I need the big meat!!” 😂😂
#WhereTheThighMeatAt
#CrabLegsAintEnough
#ThickCutSeafood
#ShellfishStruggles
#ClawsOutForThatMeat
#CrustaceanCravings
#WhereTheThighMeatAt
#CrabLegsAintEnough
#ThickCutSeafood
#ShellfishStruggles
#ClawsOutForThatMeat
#CrustaceanCravings
June 4, 2025 at 5:44 PM
“Do crabs have thighs? Cause I'm tired of the legs... I need the big meat!!” 😂😂
#WhereTheThighMeatAt
#CrabLegsAintEnough
#ThickCutSeafood
#ShellfishStruggles
#ClawsOutForThatMeat
#CrustaceanCravings
#WhereTheThighMeatAt
#CrabLegsAintEnough
#ThickCutSeafood
#ShellfishStruggles
#ClawsOutForThatMeat
#CrustaceanCravings
“I DIDNT FART MY ASS BLEW YOU A KISS”😘 💋
#SilentButFlirty
#LoveStinks
#KissMyGas
#BootyBlownAffection
#FlatulenceWithFeeling
#CupidGotIBS
#SilentButFlirty
#LoveStinks
#KissMyGas
#BootyBlownAffection
#FlatulenceWithFeeling
#CupidGotIBS
June 3, 2025 at 9:03 PM
“I DIDNT FART MY ASS BLEW YOU A KISS”😘 💋
#SilentButFlirty
#LoveStinks
#KissMyGas
#BootyBlownAffection
#FlatulenceWithFeeling
#CupidGotIBS
#SilentButFlirty
#LoveStinks
#KissMyGas
#BootyBlownAffection
#FlatulenceWithFeeling
#CupidGotIBS
One Day Ima Risk It All & Ask My Mama Who Tf She Think Dhe Talkin To😳🙄🤣#PrayForMeIfIDo
#RespectfullyDisrespectful
#MamaGotThemHands
#ICantComeToThePhone
#LastDayOnEarthVibes
#IDiedForAsking
#RespectfullyDisrespectful
#MamaGotThemHands
#ICantComeToThePhone
#LastDayOnEarthVibes
#IDiedForAsking
June 3, 2025 at 8:58 PM
One Day Ima Risk It All & Ask My Mama Who Tf She Think Dhe Talkin To😳🙄🤣#PrayForMeIfIDo
#RespectfullyDisrespectful
#MamaGotThemHands
#ICantComeToThePhone
#LastDayOnEarthVibes
#IDiedForAsking
#RespectfullyDisrespectful
#MamaGotThemHands
#ICantComeToThePhone
#LastDayOnEarthVibes
#IDiedForAsking
Idk WHO needs to hear this, but u can NOT beat the arrival time on your GPS 😩 #GPSDontLie
#YouNotFasterThanSatellites
#ChillLeadfoot
#ETAIsNotAChallenge
#GoogleMapsWinsAgain
#StopTryingToRaceAI
#YouNotFasterThanSatellites
#ChillLeadfoot
#ETAIsNotAChallenge
#GoogleMapsWinsAgain
#StopTryingToRaceAI
June 3, 2025 at 8:48 PM
Idk WHO needs to hear this, but u can NOT beat the arrival time on your GPS 😩 #GPSDontLie
#YouNotFasterThanSatellites
#ChillLeadfoot
#ETAIsNotAChallenge
#GoogleMapsWinsAgain
#StopTryingToRaceAI
#YouNotFasterThanSatellites
#ChillLeadfoot
#ETAIsNotAChallenge
#GoogleMapsWinsAgain
#StopTryingToRaceAI
“Does anyone ever get bored and turn on Netflix, and decide you're not ready for that kind of
commitment. And then grab your phone and watch reels for
the next 4 hours.” #NetflixCommitmentIssues
#JustOneReelIGuess
#4HoursLater
#TooTiredToChoose
#ScrollingIsLife
#BingeWithoutPlot
commitment. And then grab your phone and watch reels for
the next 4 hours.” #NetflixCommitmentIssues
#JustOneReelIGuess
#4HoursLater
#TooTiredToChoose
#ScrollingIsLife
#BingeWithoutPlot
May 20, 2025 at 12:05 AM
“Does anyone ever get bored and turn on Netflix, and decide you're not ready for that kind of
commitment. And then grab your phone and watch reels for
the next 4 hours.” #NetflixCommitmentIssues
#JustOneReelIGuess
#4HoursLater
#TooTiredToChoose
#ScrollingIsLife
#BingeWithoutPlot
commitment. And then grab your phone and watch reels for
the next 4 hours.” #NetflixCommitmentIssues
#JustOneReelIGuess
#4HoursLater
#TooTiredToChoose
#ScrollingIsLife
#BingeWithoutPlot
Maturing is realizing you don’t need fun to have alcohol… sometimes you just need a long week, a broken printer, and a stare into the void.
#GrownUpSips
#WineWithNoOccasion
#VodkaAndVibes
#NotDrunkJustDisappointed
#CheersToStress
#AdulthoodPouredNeat
#GrownUpSips
#WineWithNoOccasion
#VodkaAndVibes
#NotDrunkJustDisappointed
#CheersToStress
#AdulthoodPouredNeat
May 19, 2025 at 11:58 PM
Maturing is realizing you don’t need fun to have alcohol… sometimes you just need a long week, a broken printer, and a stare into the void.
#GrownUpSips
#WineWithNoOccasion
#VodkaAndVibes
#NotDrunkJustDisappointed
#CheersToStress
#AdulthoodPouredNeat
#GrownUpSips
#WineWithNoOccasion
#VodkaAndVibes
#NotDrunkJustDisappointed
#CheersToStress
#AdulthoodPouredNeat
“If Swearing is considered adult language, why is it called childish behaviour, stay with me now.”
#MakeItMakeSense
#AdultLanguageChildishBehavior
#SwearLikeAGrownUp
#StayWithMeNow
#Logic404
#CussConfusion
#MakeItMakeSense
#AdultLanguageChildishBehavior
#SwearLikeAGrownUp
#StayWithMeNow
#Logic404
#CussConfusion
May 19, 2025 at 11:57 PM
“If Swearing is considered adult language, why is it called childish behaviour, stay with me now.”
#MakeItMakeSense
#AdultLanguageChildishBehavior
#SwearLikeAGrownUp
#StayWithMeNow
#Logic404
#CussConfusion
#MakeItMakeSense
#AdultLanguageChildishBehavior
#SwearLikeAGrownUp
#StayWithMeNow
#Logic404
#CussConfusion