Davey
@davey-oliver.bsky.social
Hark! Didst thou know that by but shifting thine allegiance to Geico, thou mightst procure a boon of 15% or more upon thine chariot's insurance?
January 14, 2026 at 1:27 PM
Hark! Didst thou know that by but shifting thine allegiance to Geico, thou mightst procure a boon of 15% or more upon thine chariot's insurance?
Verily I say unto thee, lay thine eyes upon the field in which my fucks are grown. Behold- that it is barren.
January 14, 2026 at 1:20 PM
Verily I say unto thee, lay thine eyes upon the field in which my fucks are grown. Behold- that it is barren.
Reposted by Davey
The text faded to the paywall at the same rate as my eyes would have glazed over anyway
January 7, 2026 at 5:12 AM
The text faded to the paywall at the same rate as my eyes would have glazed over anyway
Society: We’ve squashed and seasoned the avocados into a dip. What should we call it?
Me: guAC!
Me: guAC!
December 24, 2025 at 5:56 AM
Society: We’ve squashed and seasoned the avocados into a dip. What should we call it?
Me: guAC!
Me: guAC!
he’s not cleaning his ass so you don’t get a hint of shit while you’re down there- he’s cleaning it so you won’t taste his homies
December 18, 2025 at 6:33 PM
he’s not cleaning his ass so you don’t get a hint of shit while you’re down there- he’s cleaning it so you won’t taste his homies
gotta find that bandaid you lost in your bed before she comes over
December 18, 2025 at 6:32 PM
gotta find that bandaid you lost in your bed before she comes over
ur in her dm’s and i’m trying not to shit myself delivering her doordash
December 18, 2025 at 6:27 PM
ur in her dm’s and i’m trying not to shit myself delivering her doordash
god can create the universe in 6 days but we couldn’t build rome in 1
December 18, 2025 at 6:24 PM
god can create the universe in 6 days but we couldn’t build rome in 1
my hungry ass could never own a hot glue gun
December 18, 2025 at 1:56 PM
my hungry ass could never own a hot glue gun
wish i could say what’s on my mind but i literally think in murmurs and mumbles
December 18, 2025 at 1:50 PM
wish i could say what’s on my mind but i literally think in murmurs and mumbles
lore speaking, the newest ariel had to have ancestors that were once human, meaning one of her ancestors had sex with a fish
December 18, 2025 at 1:49 PM
lore speaking, the newest ariel had to have ancestors that were once human, meaning one of her ancestors had sex with a fish
don’t look in my incognito tab unless you wanna know how to treat a hemorrhoid
December 18, 2025 at 1:47 PM
don’t look in my incognito tab unless you wanna know how to treat a hemorrhoid
i’ll be the first to put a Ritalin patch on my penis
December 18, 2025 at 1:46 PM
i’ll be the first to put a Ritalin patch on my penis
Reposted by Davey
If Marjorie Taylor Greene won’t fight for us who will
November 22, 2025 at 3:21 AM
If Marjorie Taylor Greene won’t fight for us who will