Dave Holmes
@daveholmes.bsky.social
Editor-at-Large, Esquire. Here’s a funky introduction of how nice I am.
November 10, 2025 at 12:49 AM
When all is said and done, Mike Johnson will be remembered for repopularizing the phrase “settle down, Mary.”
October 12, 2025 at 6:30 PM
When all is said and done, Mike Johnson will be remembered for repopularizing the phrase “settle down, Mary.”
The opposite of the In Living Color Halftime Special
October 10, 2025 at 12:13 AM
The opposite of the In Living Color Halftime Special
oh word does he really
October 7, 2025 at 5:56 PM
oh word does he really
Jimmy and his writing staff are honestly some of the funniest people I know, and also some of the best people, and the way you know they’re funny and good is that this goofy pampered clown has this much time to be this angry at them.
September 24, 2025 at 3:27 AM
Jimmy and his writing staff are honestly some of the funniest people I know, and also some of the best people, and the way you know they’re funny and good is that this goofy pampered clown has this much time to be this angry at them.
JIMMY FALLON HAS FINALLY MADE ME LAUGH OUT LOUD
September 18, 2025 at 4:30 PM
JIMMY FALLON HAS FINALLY MADE ME LAUGH OUT LOUD
If you need me I will be at the “most critical” tab of the reviews for Mark Wahlberg and Gwen Stefani’s catholic prayer app Hallow
September 14, 2025 at 12:07 AM
If you need me I will be at the “most critical” tab of the reviews for Mark Wahlberg and Gwen Stefani’s catholic prayer app Hallow
That first sentence is absolutely bone-chilling in its own way
September 10, 2025 at 6:26 PM
That first sentence is absolutely bone-chilling in its own way
Related: face is grilled
September 4, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Related: face is grilled
So...we're saying that if you're posting to social media, that means you can't be focused on what's happening right in front of you? Is that what we're saying?
August 22, 2025 at 4:11 PM
So...we're saying that if you're posting to social media, that means you can't be focused on what's happening right in front of you? Is that what we're saying?
Okay, I was close. Also just found out they were originally called “Buutz.”
August 18, 2025 at 5:15 PM
Okay, I was close. Also just found out they were originally called “Buutz.”
Kim Davis is the worst, but I will take any opportunity to remind you of this moment from 2015, which is legitimately very very funny.
August 11, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Kim Davis is the worst, but I will take any opportunity to remind you of this moment from 2015, which is legitimately very very funny.
As of Friday, July 25 at 6:36am pacific time, we are still pretending we do not understand exactly how and why Trump has struggled in dealing with the Epstein files.
July 25, 2025 at 1:39 PM
As of Friday, July 25 at 6:36am pacific time, we are still pretending we do not understand exactly how and why Trump has struggled in dealing with the Epstein files.
You do not care one way or the other about seeing it
July 24, 2025 at 7:53 PM
You do not care one way or the other about seeing it
Come on, you think this guy wouldn't do it?
July 22, 2025 at 11:46 PM
Come on, you think this guy wouldn't do it?
This much filler makes it that much easier to lie, and I’m honestly beginning to wonder if it’s strategic.
July 13, 2025 at 4:25 PM
This much filler makes it that much easier to lie, and I’m honestly beginning to wonder if it’s strategic.
I saw this and knew it was real but still had to check because I don't want to live in that kind of world but it is. And it's from 2 full days ago, because a White House advisor tweeting about feeding the entire Latino population of the US to alligators doesn't even make the news. Holy fucking shit.
July 2, 2025 at 7:23 PM
I saw this and knew it was real but still had to check because I don't want to live in that kind of world but it is. And it's from 2 full days ago, because a White House advisor tweeting about feeding the entire Latino population of the US to alligators doesn't even make the news. Holy fucking shit.
Okay some recency bias here but I stand by it so shut up
June 26, 2025 at 2:24 AM
Okay some recency bias here but I stand by it so shut up