I'm in a legal tussle with the red Teletubby over the ownership of a cabbage salad. It's complicated because she's substituted all but ten percent of it with a peppery Chinese sauce, but there's legal precedent because Po's szechuan is nine-tenths of the slaw.

I’m not going to leave X just yet - I hate that sense of being driven away from a place I used to love. But after one day on here, I already know how much prefer it.

So if you see this and would be kind enough to share it to let people find me, that would be hugely appreciated. Thank you.