Darth Smurf X
@darthsmurfx.bsky.social
Professional flip-flop model.
Unfortunately, my new toy… The Stranger… is stuck with the worst Star Wars name since Count Dooku. And Rey Skywalker. #RenewTheAcolyte #SaveTheAcolyte #SideBurnOnRiseOfSkywalker
November 5, 2025 at 1:14 PM
Unfortunately, my new toy… The Stranger… is stuck with the worst Star Wars name since Count Dooku. And Rey Skywalker. #RenewTheAcolyte #SaveTheAcolyte #SideBurnOnRiseOfSkywalker
New toy alert! By far the coolest character Star Wars has created in a LONG time. Thanks to the whiny, poopy-pantsed babies who ridiculed The Acolyte online just because it had 2 awful episodes, we’ll never get a 2nd season that would’ve revealed a cooler name than… The Stranger. #DarthTeeth
November 4, 2025 at 1:40 PM
New toy alert! By far the coolest character Star Wars has created in a LONG time. Thanks to the whiny, poopy-pantsed babies who ridiculed The Acolyte online just because it had 2 awful episodes, we’ll never get a 2nd season that would’ve revealed a cooler name than… The Stranger. #DarthTeeth
I haven't posted anything funny in awhile, so here's my desk. In my office. AT WORK. I'm almost 50. I spent real money on these. Someone married me.
September 17, 2025 at 5:12 PM
I haven't posted anything funny in awhile, so here's my desk. In my office. AT WORK. I'm almost 50. I spent real money on these. Someone married me.
September 10, 2025 at 4:04 PM
In an alternate universe, this collection also prominently features an awesome @robliefeld.bsky.social #Youngblood™ Knight Sabre action figure by McFarlane Toys. Sadly, I am clearly living in the darkest timeline.
August 12, 2025 at 2:59 PM
In an alternate universe, this collection also prominently features an awesome @robliefeld.bsky.social #Youngblood™ Knight Sabre action figure by McFarlane Toys. Sadly, I am clearly living in the darkest timeline.
It's about time I got this off my chest.
Why did #McFarlaneToys attach 2 GIANT guns to the ShadowHawk action figure with a rubber cord that could only be removed with scissors?!?!? He never even used guns, but I need 2 guns dragging behind him when he's battling Badrock over some misunderstanding?
Why did #McFarlaneToys attach 2 GIANT guns to the ShadowHawk action figure with a rubber cord that could only be removed with scissors?!?!? He never even used guns, but I need 2 guns dragging behind him when he's battling Badrock over some misunderstanding?
June 18, 2025 at 12:56 PM
It's about time I got this off my chest.
Why did #McFarlaneToys attach 2 GIANT guns to the ShadowHawk action figure with a rubber cord that could only be removed with scissors?!?!? He never even used guns, but I need 2 guns dragging behind him when he's battling Badrock over some misunderstanding?
Why did #McFarlaneToys attach 2 GIANT guns to the ShadowHawk action figure with a rubber cord that could only be removed with scissors?!?!? He never even used guns, but I need 2 guns dragging behind him when he's battling Badrock over some misunderstanding?
We saw an actual rainbow during our trip to #Ireland! We followed it to the end because of course you do and turns out it was really touristy there so we left.
June 4, 2025 at 11:34 AM
We saw an actual rainbow during our trip to #Ireland! We followed it to the end because of course you do and turns out it was really touristy there so we left.
March 26, 2025 at 8:05 PM
10 YEARS CANCER-FREE!
Celebrate with #Portillos!
Strike first. Strike hard. No mercy. #CobraKai
And now I’m starting to think I’ve had too much mint chocolate shake. Maybe @gameovergreggy.bsky.social would appreciate this at least.
Celebrate with #Portillos!
Strike first. Strike hard. No mercy. #CobraKai
And now I’m starting to think I’ve had too much mint chocolate shake. Maybe @gameovergreggy.bsky.social would appreciate this at least.
March 20, 2025 at 4:28 PM
10 YEARS CANCER-FREE!
Celebrate with #Portillos!
Strike first. Strike hard. No mercy. #CobraKai
And now I’m starting to think I’ve had too much mint chocolate shake. Maybe @gameovergreggy.bsky.social would appreciate this at least.
Celebrate with #Portillos!
Strike first. Strike hard. No mercy. #CobraKai
And now I’m starting to think I’ve had too much mint chocolate shake. Maybe @gameovergreggy.bsky.social would appreciate this at least.
Somehow—in 2025—I have "Just Another Day Without You" stuck in my head by #JonSecada.
Yeah—I owned that cassette tape. And yeah—I played it on repeat. And yeah—I sat alone at lunch crying into my tater tots with my baggy, pleated jeans, braided belt and Jordan Catalano haircut™.
Yeah—I owned that cassette tape. And yeah—I played it on repeat. And yeah—I sat alone at lunch crying into my tater tots with my baggy, pleated jeans, braided belt and Jordan Catalano haircut™.
March 12, 2025 at 12:21 PM
Somehow—in 2025—I have "Just Another Day Without You" stuck in my head by #JonSecada.
Yeah—I owned that cassette tape. And yeah—I played it on repeat. And yeah—I sat alone at lunch crying into my tater tots with my baggy, pleated jeans, braided belt and Jordan Catalano haircut™.
Yeah—I owned that cassette tape. And yeah—I played it on repeat. And yeah—I sat alone at lunch crying into my tater tots with my baggy, pleated jeans, braided belt and Jordan Catalano haircut™.
Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice… Darth Smurf just unlocked the #AstroBot Thrust or Bust trophy next to a pile of broken controllers.
February 21, 2025 at 7:03 PM
Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice… Darth Smurf just unlocked the #AstroBot Thrust or Bust trophy next to a pile of broken controllers.
That #FantasticFour trailer is… fantastic.
Wait wait. Don’t leave.
Fantastic Four—Fourth Time’s the Charm.
Is this thing on? Hello?!?
Wait wait. Don’t leave.
Fantastic Four—Fourth Time’s the Charm.
Is this thing on? Hello?!?
February 4, 2025 at 8:21 PM
That #FantasticFour trailer is… fantastic.
Wait wait. Don’t leave.
Fantastic Four—Fourth Time’s the Charm.
Is this thing on? Hello?!?
Wait wait. Don’t leave.
Fantastic Four—Fourth Time’s the Charm.
Is this thing on? Hello?!?
Somehow she’s put up with me for 23 years. Happy Anniversary!!! 2.2.02 💖
February 2, 2025 at 9:28 PM
Somehow she’s put up with me for 23 years. Happy Anniversary!!! 2.2.02 💖
Because everyone is begging for my take on the #Intergalactic trailer:
Once again, I'm blown away by something cool and jump on the internets to see how everyone else is raving about this sweet new game and I'm forced to break out this GIF. And if you don't stop misbehaving, I'll post it again!
Once again, I'm blown away by something cool and jump on the internets to see how everyone else is raving about this sweet new game and I'm forced to break out this GIF. And if you don't stop misbehaving, I'll post it again!
December 18, 2024 at 1:25 PM
Because everyone is begging for my take on the #Intergalactic trailer:
Once again, I'm blown away by something cool and jump on the internets to see how everyone else is raving about this sweet new game and I'm forced to break out this GIF. And if you don't stop misbehaving, I'll post it again!
Once again, I'm blown away by something cool and jump on the internets to see how everyone else is raving about this sweet new game and I'm forced to break out this GIF. And if you don't stop misbehaving, I'll post it again!