Committing suicide like this
November 1, 2025 at 11:38 AM
Committing suicide like this
call me a circular cardboard slip placed under drinks the way I've been coasting
October 19, 2025 at 1:36 AM
call me a circular cardboard slip placed under drinks the way I've been coasting
Call me spoon the way I’m makeing a stir
October 14, 2025 at 7:42 PM
Call me spoon the way I’m makeing a stir
i'll just use this account for journalling. why not
October 14, 2025 at 12:40 AM
i'll just use this account for journalling. why not
pronouncing "pho" at the phonetic midpoint between the correct-but-pretentious way (fuh) and the Way Of The Philistine White (foe), so as to avoid any and all complications. the waiter (19, born in Hamburg to the grandchildren of national socialists) shrugs. I kill myself
September 27, 2025 at 8:12 PM
pronouncing "pho" at the phonetic midpoint between the correct-but-pretentious way (fuh) and the Way Of The Philistine White (foe), so as to avoid any and all complications. the waiter (19, born in Hamburg to the grandchildren of national socialists) shrugs. I kill myself
someone DMed me years ago to let me know they got this doodle of mine tattooed on their body indefinitely
September 27, 2025 at 8:12 PM
someone DMed me years ago to let me know they got this doodle of mine tattooed on their body indefinitely
Peeping Tom more like Creeping Tom am I right {everyone cheers } it might be time to give those guys the "uyghur treatment" {inscrutable subset of people cheer} oh hey mike thanks for coming out {Mike waves}
August 13, 2025 at 12:50 PM
Peeping Tom more like Creeping Tom am I right {everyone cheers } it might be time to give those guys the "uyghur treatment" {inscrutable subset of people cheer} oh hey mike thanks for coming out {Mike waves}
It's time to write my great novel
August 13, 2025 at 8:04 AM
It's time to write my great novel
the ant from Bugs life got a standing ovation at cannes for his new film "The make of the foundry"
July 27, 2025 at 9:17 PM
the ant from Bugs life got a standing ovation at cannes for his new film "The make of the foundry"
Reposted by ok
Leave no stone unturned. There could be an unturned stone under there
July 11, 2025 at 1:03 PM
Leave no stone unturned. There could be an unturned stone under there
Love drinking water in bed without sitting up, where the liquid sort of sits at the bottom of your oesophagus and you almost throw up or die. It’s just one of those things I can’t imagine Obama doing
July 15, 2025 at 8:54 PM
Love drinking water in bed without sitting up, where the liquid sort of sits at the bottom of your oesophagus and you almost throw up or die. It’s just one of those things I can’t imagine Obama doing
{hearing a Van Halen solo and imagining a big guitar, also forgetting the word for synesthesia } Oh my God.. I think I have bibimbap
July 15, 2025 at 8:54 PM
{hearing a Van Halen solo and imagining a big guitar, also forgetting the word for synesthesia } Oh my God.. I think I have bibimbap
{texting ice cream friend} 2 scoops vanilla. waffle cone, chocolate around the rim. Sensational
{texting other friend } Just told him I got ice cream lol
{texting other friend } Just told him I got ice cream lol
June 23, 2025 at 1:04 PM
{texting ice cream friend} 2 scoops vanilla. waffle cone, chocolate around the rim. Sensational
{texting other friend } Just told him I got ice cream lol
{texting other friend } Just told him I got ice cream lol
accidentally posting a picture of my flaccid penis on Zillow was terrifying at first, but the idea of my thing being valued at $700,000 healed something in me, something old and forgotten. I'm not too proud to say I cried in that library. Yup, daddy's gonna leave this one up 🍷
June 4, 2025 at 6:29 PM
accidentally posting a picture of my flaccid penis on Zillow was terrifying at first, but the idea of my thing being valued at $700,000 healed something in me, something old and forgotten. I'm not too proud to say I cried in that library. Yup, daddy's gonna leave this one up 🍷
Reposted by ok
my reaction to anything
May 24, 2025 at 5:11 PM
my reaction to anything
Big fan of art garfunkels bald son who covers his dad's songs in German
May 31, 2025 at 1:33 PM
Big fan of art garfunkels bald son who covers his dad's songs in German
we're 13 months away from a bunch of people calling themselves "woke MAGA". these fringe social currents just boil down to word combinatorics
April 18, 2025 at 1:46 PM
we're 13 months away from a bunch of people calling themselves "woke MAGA". these fringe social currents just boil down to word combinatorics
What the hell man.. That was going to be my Easter message
April 17, 2025 at 8:36 AM
What the hell man.. That was going to be my Easter message
if you really "need your dick sucked" you'd let a cow do it. or a bird
April 7, 2025 at 1:07 PM
if you really "need your dick sucked" you'd let a cow do it. or a bird
{geting into Mensa for saying this} boobs with the fur
April 7, 2025 at 1:05 PM
{geting into Mensa for saying this} boobs with the fur
"I shit myself" should mean that you shit out a tiny version of you. Not just doing something normal on the train
April 4, 2025 at 4:20 PM
"I shit myself" should mean that you shit out a tiny version of you. Not just doing something normal on the train
Stuffing a seagull into my air fryer
April 4, 2025 at 4:13 PM
Stuffing a seagull into my air fryer
my son: father, what does "La Bamba " mean
{grabbing him by the neck , screaming} Where did you hear that ,
{grabbing him by the neck , screaming} Where did you hear that ,
April 4, 2025 at 4:08 PM
my son: father, what does "La Bamba " mean
{grabbing him by the neck , screaming} Where did you hear that ,
{grabbing him by the neck , screaming} Where did you hear that ,
i live in a giant jean pocket and eat 1 new yoghurt a day. this is Trump's Suriname
April 4, 2025 at 4:06 PM
i live in a giant jean pocket and eat 1 new yoghurt a day. this is Trump's Suriname