There's no way you're not a bot

Alright guys, who cast enlarge on the bird, not cool

Oh I forgot they made those, my bad

What kind of stove do you have?

Boasting about blatantly negligent magical practices doesn't help your point. Every mage deserves a good education, part of that is knowing what is and is not safe. Not to say they can't get hurt, but letting a child touch the stove, and casting them into the fires of hell are very different things

Also, they do call me Yorlock Keeper of the Gates, the tomb of the nine tongued beast requires constant vigilance

Don't get me wrong, I love seeing a new mage learn their first dark spell, or subjugate their first entity, but magic in the wrong hands is dangerous for everyone. As master sorcerers, it's our jobs to ensure that new practitioners are learning safely, and not putting the realm in danger.

This is the type of shit I see all the time in the astral realm

This is exactly why neophytes shouldn't even think about reading those kinds of tomes until they're at LEAST a 10th degree mage

I heard he read an ancient grimoire and it drove him mad and gave him an insatiable desire for power

Oh you must be talking about Tantalus the Deranged, I fucking hate that guy he is such a pain in the ass,

No clue, my homunculus does my taxes, I do know that they make for great potion ingredients though

Illusion magic also works

I steal gold from the dragon that lives deep beneath there, they're pissed each time, but every time they leave their keep to come after me I just sneak back in and steal more

I have something similar, but instead of a jar, it's a dark pit in the depths of my tower, and instead of expletives, it's demonic thralls that do my bidding, and instead of dollars, it's souls and/or blood

Me when my gnome is being rebellious

Those are the exact hand signs I use when performing my spell that destroys the American agriculture industry and leaves remaining crops small and unfit for consumption, you have great potential as an evil wizard

Were they powerful? I'm in the market for a new set of minions

*casts spell of mass hysteria*
HELL NAW