Dan Schwab
@danschwab.bsky.social
Blue AF for years.
Let's get started (again).
No DMs please,
except from Desi Lydic.
And even then, Desi... Keep it casual.
Let's get started (again).
No DMs please,
except from Desi Lydic.
And even then, Desi... Keep it casual.
Watch out, Peppa! ICE agents have no restraint!
November 16, 2025 at 1:37 PM
Watch out, Peppa! ICE agents have no restraint!
"There's more than one way to skin a cat."
(~excerpt from RFK's new dietary guideline update)
(~excerpt from RFK's new dietary guideline update)
October 29, 2025 at 12:55 PM
"There's more than one way to skin a cat."
(~excerpt from RFK's new dietary guideline update)
(~excerpt from RFK's new dietary guideline update)
I know I tell you guys I give blood for the greater good of humanity.
But, truthfully... it's to keep Brendyn satiated and calm. For Brendyn is our true master.
Hail, Brendyn the Devourer of Realms.
But, truthfully... it's to keep Brendyn satiated and calm. For Brendyn is our true master.
Hail, Brendyn the Devourer of Realms.
October 23, 2025 at 2:38 PM
I know I tell you guys I give blood for the greater good of humanity.
But, truthfully... it's to keep Brendyn satiated and calm. For Brendyn is our true master.
Hail, Brendyn the Devourer of Realms.
But, truthfully... it's to keep Brendyn satiated and calm. For Brendyn is our true master.
Hail, Brendyn the Devourer of Realms.
With his height and his father's evil genes, Barron is going to grow up to be an excellent Slenderman.
October 23, 2025 at 11:16 AM
With his height and his father's evil genes, Barron is going to grow up to be an excellent Slenderman.
I mean... yeah, I suppose.
October 20, 2025 at 1:09 PM
I mean... yeah, I suppose.
I am the pumpkinest spice.
October 19, 2025 at 1:04 PM
I am the pumpkinest spice.
SPEAKER JOHNSON: Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me.
SEAN HANNITY: The baby looked at you, eh? *nods*
SEAN HANNITY: The baby looked at you, eh? *nods*
October 16, 2025 at 5:07 PM
SPEAKER JOHNSON: Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me.
SEAN HANNITY: The baby looked at you, eh? *nods*
SEAN HANNITY: The baby looked at you, eh? *nods*
I wish I knew who drew this...
October 10, 2025 at 2:16 PM
I wish I knew who drew this...
My aunt managed the local McDonalds in 1985, so I used these to barter for high-grade Halloween candy from friends.
No amount of Smarties are gonna get your sticky fingers on this, Jerry. It's either Zagnut, or Zag-nuthin'.
No amount of Smarties are gonna get your sticky fingers on this, Jerry. It's either Zagnut, or Zag-nuthin'.
October 9, 2025 at 9:52 PM
My aunt managed the local McDonalds in 1985, so I used these to barter for high-grade Halloween candy from friends.
No amount of Smarties are gonna get your sticky fingers on this, Jerry. It's either Zagnut, or Zag-nuthin'.
No amount of Smarties are gonna get your sticky fingers on this, Jerry. It's either Zagnut, or Zag-nuthin'.
FOX can do a version of this. And whomever is not chosen will just be shifted over to FOX News' stable of TV "journalists."
October 9, 2025 at 10:10 AM
FOX can do a version of this. And whomever is not chosen will just be shifted over to FOX News' stable of TV "journalists."
I found it hard to watch Ed Gein on Netflix, because Ed just kept reminding me of this guy...
October 8, 2025 at 8:24 PM
I found it hard to watch Ed Gein on Netflix, because Ed just kept reminding me of this guy...
I found it hard to watch Ed Gein on Netflix, because Ed just kept reminding me of this guy...
October 8, 2025 at 1:42 AM
I found it hard to watch Ed Gein on Netflix, because Ed just kept reminding me of this guy...
Honestly, days doing this are among my favorite.
Double red blood cells today.
Great crew working the OneBlood bus.
Double red blood cells today.
Great crew working the OneBlood bus.
September 30, 2025 at 9:23 PM
Honestly, days doing this are among my favorite.
Double red blood cells today.
Great crew working the OneBlood bus.
Double red blood cells today.
Great crew working the OneBlood bus.
I'm so sorry, @amberruffin.bsky.social . I love you, but this look was just too damn precious.
#HIGNFY
#HIGNFYE
@roywoodjr.bsky.social @michaelianblack.bsky.social @adamkinzinger.substack.com @neginfarsad.bsky.social
#HIGNFY
#HIGNFYE
@roywoodjr.bsky.social @michaelianblack.bsky.social @adamkinzinger.substack.com @neginfarsad.bsky.social
September 22, 2025 at 11:49 AM
I'm so sorry, @amberruffin.bsky.social . I love you, but this look was just too damn precious.
#HIGNFY
#HIGNFYE
@roywoodjr.bsky.social @michaelianblack.bsky.social @adamkinzinger.substack.com @neginfarsad.bsky.social
#HIGNFY
#HIGNFYE
@roywoodjr.bsky.social @michaelianblack.bsky.social @adamkinzinger.substack.com @neginfarsad.bsky.social
I find it fun that the local PD made a post about transportation safety, and attached an A.I. pic of a bike and a car driving on the sidewalk.
September 17, 2025 at 7:08 PM
I find it fun that the local PD made a post about transportation safety, and attached an A.I. pic of a bike and a car driving on the sidewalk.
I swear, I thought this was Andrew Tate at first...
September 14, 2025 at 10:27 AM
I swear, I thought this was Andrew Tate at first...
So, Patel has made the Federal Bureau of Investigation FBI just as effective in catching criminals as the Female Body Inspectors FBI-- an organization of unfuckable men inspired from Jersey boardwalk T-shirts. Yesterday, both groups caught the same number of assassins.
September 12, 2025 at 1:06 PM
So, Patel has made the Federal Bureau of Investigation FBI just as effective in catching criminals as the Female Body Inspectors FBI-- an organization of unfuckable men inspired from Jersey boardwalk T-shirts. Yesterday, both groups caught the same number of assassins.
I know this sounds insane, but I’ve got this letter I found years ago. It's a letter Jeffrey Epstein sent to Trump FROM PRISON.
Crazy, right? Don’t ask how I got it. It’s amazing what you stumble across in a New Jersey landfill when you’re trying to hide evidence of your own. Anyway…
Crazy, right? Don’t ask how I got it. It’s amazing what you stumble across in a New Jersey landfill when you’re trying to hide evidence of your own. Anyway…
September 10, 2025 at 5:48 PM
I know this sounds insane, but I’ve got this letter I found years ago. It's a letter Jeffrey Epstein sent to Trump FROM PRISON.
Crazy, right? Don’t ask how I got it. It’s amazing what you stumble across in a New Jersey landfill when you’re trying to hide evidence of your own. Anyway…
Crazy, right? Don’t ask how I got it. It’s amazing what you stumble across in a New Jersey landfill when you’re trying to hide evidence of your own. Anyway…
I think this is supposed to be dirty...? Am I just not hip to the lingo of today's youths?
August 13, 2025 at 8:31 PM
I think this is supposed to be dirty...? Am I just not hip to the lingo of today's youths?
It's a very froggy morning.
Came out at 5am for my morning coffee to a chorus of tree frogs, then this wee amphibian was perched on my Keurig. After this pic, he took this wicked leap and landed on my Bob's Big Boy bobblehead WITHOUT KNOCKING IT OVER!
Came out at 5am for my morning coffee to a chorus of tree frogs, then this wee amphibian was perched on my Keurig. After this pic, he took this wicked leap and landed on my Bob's Big Boy bobblehead WITHOUT KNOCKING IT OVER!
August 10, 2025 at 5:51 PM
It's a very froggy morning.
Came out at 5am for my morning coffee to a chorus of tree frogs, then this wee amphibian was perched on my Keurig. After this pic, he took this wicked leap and landed on my Bob's Big Boy bobblehead WITHOUT KNOCKING IT OVER!
Came out at 5am for my morning coffee to a chorus of tree frogs, then this wee amphibian was perched on my Keurig. After this pic, he took this wicked leap and landed on my Bob's Big Boy bobblehead WITHOUT KNOCKING IT OVER!
Yes... we ARE the hottest country.
Because dumpster fires are like that.
Because dumpster fires are like that.
August 3, 2025 at 2:48 PM
Yes... we ARE the hottest country.
Because dumpster fires are like that.
Because dumpster fires are like that.