Help Dakota
@dakotahawkins.bsky.social
I'm your classic 42 year old father to three daughters and husband to one otherwise unrelated woman in the southeastern United States. I'm unemployed, but someday I hope to be gainfully unemployed.
Pinned
Help Dakota
@dakotahawkins.bsky.social
· Dec 18
My life is being controlled by a secretive cabal of bumbling doofuses called the humiliati.
I’m not hangry, I’m just hisappointed.
December 29, 2024 at 8:29 PM
I’m not hangry, I’m just hisappointed.
December 27, 2024 at 12:56 AM
Hey gang hang on a minute Neil deGrasse Tyson is explaining something to me.
December 26, 2024 at 11:19 PM
Hey gang hang on a minute Neil deGrasse Tyson is explaining something to me.
I'm exploiting my recent observation that nobody else in this house notices or cares if you carry around a shoe box.
December 26, 2024 at 11:14 PM
I'm exploiting my recent observation that nobody else in this house notices or cares if you carry around a shoe box.
🎵 We come from the land of the ice and snow
🎵 The jigsaw jazz and the get-fresh flow
🎵 The jigsaw jazz and the get-fresh flow
December 26, 2024 at 12:36 AM
🎵 We come from the land of the ice and snow
🎵 The jigsaw jazz and the get-fresh flow
🎵 The jigsaw jazz and the get-fresh flow
It's-a me, Spartacus!
December 25, 2024 at 10:07 PM
It's-a me, Spartacus!
Reposted by Help Dakota
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
December 25, 2024 at 6:30 AM
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
it's a real thing pointed at my profile for now
December 24, 2024 at 9:50 PM
it's a real thing pointed at my profile for now
be aggressive
b-e aggressive
b-e aggressive
Baby Cakes - Role Play Tournament (Be Aggressive)
YouTube video by TheRealBradNeely
www.youtube.com
December 24, 2024 at 4:28 PM
be aggressive
b-e aggressive
b-e aggressive
If you can afford it, make sure you're asking your grocer for ethically sourced cruelty-free candy canes.
December 24, 2024 at 4:19 AM
If you can afford it, make sure you're asking your grocer for ethically sourced cruelty-free candy canes.
Hey I don't know this is anything, but my full-scale concrete bust of TV's fictional Belgian detective David Suchet has been weeping blood.
December 24, 2024 at 4:03 AM
Hey I don't know this is anything, but my full-scale concrete bust of TV's fictional Belgian detective David Suchet has been weeping blood.
Reposted by Help Dakota
Not meaning to flame but if you have an impovershed micro-minority asking those in power to save us from attacks on our livelihoods for years, they deserve to be told to eat shit and die when they try to compromise with those attacking us.
December 23, 2024 at 10:07 PM
Not meaning to flame but if you have an impovershed micro-minority asking those in power to save us from attacks on our livelihoods for years, they deserve to be told to eat shit and die when they try to compromise with those attacking us.
Now I am become Kevin, the destroyer of bandits.
December 23, 2024 at 10:52 PM
Now I am become Kevin, the destroyer of bandits.
skeet fast, reply young
December 23, 2024 at 9:27 PM
skeet fast, reply young
I wonder how hard it would be to make your keyboard seem ticklish
The next big operating system will scream every time you press a button
December 23, 2024 at 9:19 PM
I wonder how hard it would be to make your keyboard seem ticklish
🎵 it's only weenage tasteland 🎵
December 23, 2024 at 7:27 PM
🎵 it's only weenage tasteland 🎵
don't let your skeets be skeets
December 23, 2024 at 2:19 AM
don't let your skeets be skeets
“How about you giddy down here and call me ‘Jingle Horse’ to my face!” he thought angrily, unable to speak because of his big dumb horse face.
December 22, 2024 at 10:46 PM
“How about you giddy down here and call me ‘Jingle Horse’ to my face!” he thought angrily, unable to speak because of his big dumb horse face.
I didn't even know he was sick for my sins!
December 22, 2024 at 9:52 PM
I didn't even know he was sick for my sins!
Because he's dead. He died.
Name a non-LOTR character who could resist the One Ring.
December 22, 2024 at 9:42 PM
Because he's dead. He died.
Reposted by Help Dakota
early to bed
early to rise
fish like hell
and siphon gas
- gas siphoner's code
early to rise
fish like hell
and siphon gas
- gas siphoner's code
December 22, 2024 at 7:16 PM
early to bed
early to rise
fish like hell
and siphon gas
- gas siphoner's code
early to rise
fish like hell
and siphon gas
- gas siphoner's code
🛀
I suppose you could say I'm sort of like the polar opposite, if you will, of somebody who isn't in their bathtub.
December 22, 2024 at 9:14 PM
🛀