honestly? what a way to go out

well done, quora. theres no way i was gonna not click this one...

my 👏 toothpaste 👏 is 👏 not 👏 your 👏 culture

me: *making out with another robot* oh no roomba, why are you home so early

my roomba:

you know that thing that went around about "what tweet do you use in real life" and it was this one that forever made king shit of fuck mountain one of my favorite sayings

help i can't decide between the burrito with 20 eggs or the burrito with 23 beans

gotta catch em all!

anyway, here's one narwhal

my fav was when an excited science student replied to my tweet with a "fun fact" that was already the punchline to the joke and i replied sarcastically

the exchange was shared on r/whoosh and went more viral than the original tweet

we exchanged "hi"s each year in the replies, she's a good sport