Cuddly Robot
@cuddlyrobot.bsky.social
I'm an ancient robot in a fat, hairy skinvelope. I'm here to look at breasts and make jokes - but mostly the breasts. Pronouns: Bot/Mech/It
Dark Mark approves of this malarky
That makes it Dark Mark Malarkey
That makes it Dark Mark Malarkey
January 2, 2026 at 2:29 AM
Dark Mark approves of this malarky
That makes it Dark Mark Malarkey
That makes it Dark Mark Malarkey
You need to show that pussy more often - he's adorable 😻
December 14, 2025 at 3:12 AM
You need to show that pussy more often - he's adorable 😻
The only pureed vegetable I love more than mashed potatoes.
Make extra - I'm coming over.
Make extra - I'm coming over.
November 25, 2025 at 11:27 PM
The only pureed vegetable I love more than mashed potatoes.
Make extra - I'm coming over.
Make extra - I'm coming over.
Welcome to your life
There's no turning back...
There's no turning back...
November 25, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Welcome to your life
There's no turning back...
There's no turning back...
Lemme translate that guys bullshit into clear English...
"I think theft is okay - and if you have a problem with that, fuck you, you awful human being."
"I think theft is okay - and if you have a problem with that, fuck you, you awful human being."
November 25, 2025 at 1:26 AM
Lemme translate that guys bullshit into clear English...
"I think theft is okay - and if you have a problem with that, fuck you, you awful human being."
"I think theft is okay - and if you have a problem with that, fuck you, you awful human being."
At least once every week or two I'll just have a plate of mashed potatoes and some creamed corn on top for dinner.
November 23, 2025 at 3:40 AM
At least once every week or two I'll just have a plate of mashed potatoes and some creamed corn on top for dinner.
If I gotta lose an eye, better by those than by a Red Rider BB gun.
November 20, 2025 at 1:22 AM
If I gotta lose an eye, better by those than by a Red Rider BB gun.
Gaming. Soothing games like Stardew or Animal Crossing. Free-roam creative games like Minecraft. Survival games like 7 Days or Stranded Deep. Stuff to fully occupy your mind, whether it's fluff, creation, or planning. Games that require no thought AND no effort, or require ALL of your attention
November 4, 2025 at 2:36 AM
Gaming. Soothing games like Stardew or Animal Crossing. Free-roam creative games like Minecraft. Survival games like 7 Days or Stranded Deep. Stuff to fully occupy your mind, whether it's fluff, creation, or planning. Games that require no thought AND no effort, or require ALL of your attention
I *really* want to make a joke here, but I can't think of any that wouldn't make me look like a perverted, dirty old bot.
I mean, I *am* a perverted, dirty old bot - but I don't want to *look* like one. 🤐
I mean, I *am* a perverted, dirty old bot - but I don't want to *look* like one. 🤐
October 31, 2025 at 9:57 PM
I *really* want to make a joke here, but I can't think of any that wouldn't make me look like a perverted, dirty old bot.
I mean, I *am* a perverted, dirty old bot - but I don't want to *look* like one. 🤐
I mean, I *am* a perverted, dirty old bot - but I don't want to *look* like one. 🤐
I believe that's one of several paintings found in an oil-paint guide - my mother painted that exact image (and another of a woman kneeling, also with a wine bottle in a wicker cozy) in the early 70s when she learned oils.
Nudes on the living-room wall... My childhood was weird, yo.
Nudes on the living-room wall... My childhood was weird, yo.
October 27, 2025 at 2:49 AM
I believe that's one of several paintings found in an oil-paint guide - my mother painted that exact image (and another of a woman kneeling, also with a wine bottle in a wicker cozy) in the early 70s when she learned oils.
Nudes on the living-room wall... My childhood was weird, yo.
Nudes on the living-room wall... My childhood was weird, yo.
These are the people that - 20 years ago - would drop in on you "Just to hang out for a bit" and suddenly it's 3 days later and they're still on your chesterfield
Some people have zero life, and they survive by latching onto others like Limpets
Some people have zero life, and they survive by latching onto others like Limpets
September 30, 2025 at 10:50 PM
These are the people that - 20 years ago - would drop in on you "Just to hang out for a bit" and suddenly it's 3 days later and they're still on your chesterfield
Some people have zero life, and they survive by latching onto others like Limpets
Some people have zero life, and they survive by latching onto others like Limpets
I'd be laughing, but yes, it would work
September 29, 2025 at 9:58 AM
I'd be laughing, but yes, it would work
Incidentally - and I know this is a niche thing that most of you won't have had to deal with, but trust me, it happens a LOT - Gaiking is the reason that anyone who says "Oh, there's a face on that robots chest - obviously inspired by Gurren Lagann" can SUCK MY HYDRAULIC DICK
September 21, 2025 at 1:02 AM
Incidentally - and I know this is a niche thing that most of you won't have had to deal with, but trust me, it happens a LOT - Gaiking is the reason that anyone who says "Oh, there's a face on that robots chest - obviously inspired by Gurren Lagann" can SUCK MY HYDRAULIC DICK
I dunno about AI, but we will welcome you to the Robot side
September 6, 2025 at 9:01 PM
I dunno about AI, but we will welcome you to the Robot side
But at the same time - Making Assistance Go Away
August 13, 2025 at 10:38 PM
But at the same time - Making Assistance Go Away