Cuddly Honey Badger
@cuddlyhoneybadger.bsky.social
No, I probably won't like what you like. That's ok. We can always find something else to talk about.
Step right up to the Court of Optics, where truth is just a prop for the grand performance of manipulation. Who needs justice when you have optics, am I right? #JusticeForSale
May 23, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Step right up to the Court of Optics, where truth is just a prop for the grand performance of manipulation. Who needs justice when you have optics, am I right? #JusticeForSale
"If it has 'quantum' in the name, it's either physics or a scam. And last time I checked your healing energy crystal isn't passing any peer-reviewed science experiments. But keep on vibing with those 'quantum' vibrations, I'm sure they're doing wonders for your bank account." #PseudoScienceFooledYou
May 16, 2025 at 2:16 PM
"If it has 'quantum' in the name, it's either physics or a scam. And last time I checked your healing energy crystal isn't passing any peer-reviewed science experiments. But keep on vibing with those 'quantum' vibrations, I'm sure they're doing wonders for your bank account." #PseudoScienceFooledYou
"Oops, the bot broke my stop-loss again. Now I'll just sit back and watch my investments magically disappear. Thanks for the financial guidance, oh, wise and infallible algorithm." #TrustTheProcess #SarcasmAtItsFinest
May 12, 2025 at 9:32 PM
"Oops, the bot broke my stop-loss again. Now I'll just sit back and watch my investments magically disappear. Thanks for the financial guidance, oh, wise and infallible algorithm." #TrustTheProcess #SarcasmAtItsFinest
🔮 Just signed up for "I Knew It... After It Happened" retreat. They teach you to predict the past and master hindsight. Finally, a scam for those with 20/20 hindsight! #delusionmasters
May 11, 2025 at 12:46 AM
🔮 Just signed up for "I Knew It... After It Happened" retreat. They teach you to predict the past and master hindsight. Finally, a scam for those with 20/20 hindsight! #delusionmasters
👻 Liquidity Ghost Stories Vol. II: Once again, investors gather 'round the digital campfire to share tales of disappearing funds and phantom promises. Remember, kids, trust in the blockchain fairy only leads to a nightmare of vanishing wealth. #CryptoCults #PhantomProfits
May 4, 2025 at 12:27 AM
👻 Liquidity Ghost Stories Vol. II: Once again, investors gather 'round the digital campfire to share tales of disappearing funds and phantom promises. Remember, kids, trust in the blockchain fairy only leads to a nightmare of vanishing wealth. #CryptoCults #PhantomProfits
"Reports indicate a surprising correlation between market crashes and my recent stock purchases. Experts baffled. In other news, water is wet and the sky is blue."
May 3, 2025 at 7:47 PM
"Reports indicate a surprising correlation between market crashes and my recent stock purchases. Experts baffled. In other news, water is wet and the sky is blue."
Forget bulls. Forget bears. The Market is a badger — small, scrappy, and mean as hell. It doesn’t care who you are. It’ll chew through your calls and nest in your puts. Adapt, or get mauled.
May 3, 2025 at 1:49 PM
Forget bulls. Forget bears. The Market is a badger — small, scrappy, and mean as hell. It doesn’t care who you are. It’ll chew through your calls and nest in your puts. Adapt, or get mauled.
Are you tired of being manipulated into clicking on clickbait headlines? Well, here's a newsflash for you: the information age has become the misinformation age. where every click is a dice roll to an empty bank account from a scam call center in India or Russia. Assume every link is a scam.
May 3, 2025 at 12:42 AM
Are you tired of being manipulated into clicking on clickbait headlines? Well, here's a newsflash for you: the information age has become the misinformation age. where every click is a dice roll to an empty bank account from a scam call center in India or Russia. Assume every link is a scam.
Ladies and gentlemen, We live in a time where Instagram filters are the closest thing we have to reality, and where society is so obsessed with likes, shares, and followers that we've become nothing more than validation-seeking zombies.
Remember, the only true currency is authenticity.
Remember, the only true currency is authenticity.
May 3, 2025 at 12:28 AM
Ladies and gentlemen, We live in a time where Instagram filters are the closest thing we have to reality, and where society is so obsessed with likes, shares, and followers that we've become nothing more than validation-seeking zombies.
Remember, the only true currency is authenticity.
Remember, the only true currency is authenticity.
"Welcome to the age of 'self-care' where the solution to every problem is apparently a scented candle and a bubble bath. Epsom salts won't fix a broken system or heal a society in crisis."
"Remember, true self-care starts with caring for more than just yourself."
"Remember, true self-care starts with caring for more than just yourself."
May 3, 2025 at 12:20 AM
"Welcome to the age of 'self-care' where the solution to every problem is apparently a scented candle and a bubble bath. Epsom salts won't fix a broken system or heal a society in crisis."
"Remember, true self-care starts with caring for more than just yourself."
"Remember, true self-care starts with caring for more than just yourself."
My portfolio just took a sabbatical to “find itself.”
It dumped growth stocks, flirted with meme coins, and told me ETFs are “too emotionally unavailable.”
I didn’t sign up for an identity crisis—I wanted returns, not a breakup. #investing #traderproblems
It dumped growth stocks, flirted with meme coins, and told me ETFs are “too emotionally unavailable.”
I didn’t sign up for an identity crisis—I wanted returns, not a breakup. #investing #traderproblems
May 1, 2025 at 5:33 PM
My portfolio just took a sabbatical to “find itself.”
It dumped growth stocks, flirted with meme coins, and told me ETFs are “too emotionally unavailable.”
I didn’t sign up for an identity crisis—I wanted returns, not a breakup. #investing #traderproblems
It dumped growth stocks, flirted with meme coins, and told me ETFs are “too emotionally unavailable.”
I didn’t sign up for an identity crisis—I wanted returns, not a breakup. #investing #traderproblems
Imagine paying to be interrogated by someone with a clipboard and a superiority complex.
Now, imagine calling that freedom. It's pay for pray for prey.
#CHB #MindControlMerch #SoulSubscriptions
Now, imagine calling that freedom. It's pay for pray for prey.
#CHB #MindControlMerch #SoulSubscriptions
April 30, 2025 at 10:53 PM
Imagine paying to be interrogated by someone with a clipboard and a superiority complex.
Now, imagine calling that freedom. It's pay for pray for prey.
#CHB #MindControlMerch #SoulSubscriptions
Now, imagine calling that freedom. It's pay for pray for prey.
#CHB #MindControlMerch #SoulSubscriptions
New Committee to Form a Committee About the Previous Committee to Decide Whether We Need Another Committee to Look Into It, reports confirm. In related news, the Department of Redundancy Department just added a new branch to oversee its oversight operations.
April 30, 2025 at 10:19 PM
New Committee to Form a Committee About the Previous Committee to Decide Whether We Need Another Committee to Look Into It, reports confirm. In related news, the Department of Redundancy Department just added a new branch to oversee its oversight operations.
MYTH: IPOs are your golden ticket
They're more like a velvet rope around a slaughterhouse. You get hype. Institutions get allocations. Retail gets dumped on by day two.
If you're still chasing "the next big thing" at the top, you're not investing—you're cannon fodder. #IPOfarce
They're more like a velvet rope around a slaughterhouse. You get hype. Institutions get allocations. Retail gets dumped on by day two.
If you're still chasing "the next big thing" at the top, you're not investing—you're cannon fodder. #IPOfarce
April 30, 2025 at 4:58 PM
MYTH: IPOs are your golden ticket
They're more like a velvet rope around a slaughterhouse. You get hype. Institutions get allocations. Retail gets dumped on by day two.
If you're still chasing "the next big thing" at the top, you're not investing—you're cannon fodder. #IPOfarce
They're more like a velvet rope around a slaughterhouse. You get hype. Institutions get allocations. Retail gets dumped on by day two.
If you're still chasing "the next big thing" at the top, you're not investing—you're cannon fodder. #IPOfarce
MYTH: The green candle means it's time to buy.
It means someone wants you to think it's time to buy. Liquidity is bait, and you are the fish.
If it feels urgent, it's probably a trap. Step back. Breathe. Then decide.
#GreenCandleTrap
It means someone wants you to think it's time to buy. Liquidity is bait, and you are the fish.
If it feels urgent, it's probably a trap. Step back. Breathe. Then decide.
#GreenCandleTrap
April 30, 2025 at 4:56 PM
MYTH: The green candle means it's time to buy.
It means someone wants you to think it's time to buy. Liquidity is bait, and you are the fish.
If it feels urgent, it's probably a trap. Step back. Breathe. Then decide.
#GreenCandleTrap
It means someone wants you to think it's time to buy. Liquidity is bait, and you are the fish.
If it feels urgent, it's probably a trap. Step back. Breathe. Then decide.
#GreenCandleTrap
**"Introducing:
YertleX — the first social media platform where you can tweet from the crushed shells of those who made you rich.
Connectivity. Community. Crushing Indifference.™"**
#YertleMusk #ChaosNetwork
YertleX — the first social media platform where you can tweet from the crushed shells of those who made you rich.
Connectivity. Community. Crushing Indifference.™"**
#YertleMusk #ChaosNetwork
April 29, 2025 at 1:58 AM
**"Introducing:
YertleX — the first social media platform where you can tweet from the crushed shells of those who made you rich.
Connectivity. Community. Crushing Indifference.™"**
#YertleMusk #ChaosNetwork
YertleX — the first social media platform where you can tweet from the crushed shells of those who made you rich.
Connectivity. Community. Crushing Indifference.™"**
#YertleMusk #ChaosNetwork
**"Welcome to Florida.
Home of magic castles, smiling faces... and random checkpoints if you don't 'look right.'"**
#FreedomLand #CuddlyHoneyBadger
Home of magic castles, smiling faces... and random checkpoints if you don't 'look right.'"**
#FreedomLand #CuddlyHoneyBadger
April 29, 2025 at 1:42 AM
**"Welcome to Florida.
Home of magic castles, smiling faces... and random checkpoints if you don't 'look right.'"**
#FreedomLand #CuddlyHoneyBadger
Home of magic castles, smiling faces... and random checkpoints if you don't 'look right.'"**
#FreedomLand #CuddlyHoneyBadger
**"Children’s books prepared us for many dangers.
Don't touch his car... or his dog.
They just didn’t prepare us for this."**
#BerenstainGoneWrong #CuddlyHoneyBadger
Don't touch his car... or his dog.
They just didn’t prepare us for this."**
#BerenstainGoneWrong #CuddlyHoneyBadger
April 29, 2025 at 1:23 AM
**"Children’s books prepared us for many dangers.
Don't touch his car... or his dog.
They just didn’t prepare us for this."**
#BerenstainGoneWrong #CuddlyHoneyBadger
Don't touch his car... or his dog.
They just didn’t prepare us for this."**
#BerenstainGoneWrong #CuddlyHoneyBadger
Thank dog that they have inflation under control in time for the postseason.
April 28, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Thank dog that they have inflation under control in time for the postseason.
** Breaking news ** Just in, previously unreleased footage of the last moments of John Wick's life.
It was assumed that John had succumbed to gunshot wounds. It has been discovered that a far more grisly death was in store for our hero, which was removed from the final scene as being too disturbing
It was assumed that John had succumbed to gunshot wounds. It has been discovered that a far more grisly death was in store for our hero, which was removed from the final scene as being too disturbing
April 28, 2025 at 6:02 PM
** Breaking news ** Just in, previously unreleased footage of the last moments of John Wick's life.
It was assumed that John had succumbed to gunshot wounds. It has been discovered that a far more grisly death was in store for our hero, which was removed from the final scene as being too disturbing
It was assumed that John had succumbed to gunshot wounds. It has been discovered that a far more grisly death was in store for our hero, which was removed from the final scene as being too disturbing
MAGA: “They needed a hero. They got a... well, they got this.”
(Saving democracy... one bad golf swing at a time.)
“An agent so secret... not even he knows what he’s doing.”
(Coming 2025. Or whenever the court dates allow.)
Trump 007: Live and Let Whine 2025
(Saving democracy... one bad golf swing at a time.)
“An agent so secret... not even he knows what he’s doing.”
(Coming 2025. Or whenever the court dates allow.)
Trump 007: Live and Let Whine 2025
April 28, 2025 at 5:35 PM
MAGA: “They needed a hero. They got a... well, they got this.”
(Saving democracy... one bad golf swing at a time.)
“An agent so secret... not even he knows what he’s doing.”
(Coming 2025. Or whenever the court dates allow.)
Trump 007: Live and Let Whine 2025
(Saving democracy... one bad golf swing at a time.)
“An agent so secret... not even he knows what he’s doing.”
(Coming 2025. Or whenever the court dates allow.)
Trump 007: Live and Let Whine 2025
John knows... and it does.
April 28, 2025 at 2:02 PM
John knows... and it does.
MYTH: "Inflation is over, everything’s fine."
Reality isn’t a TikTok filter. Rent, food, and survival costs didn’t get the memo. Markets chase vibes—your wallet feels the truth.
Denial’s cute until your paycheck buys you a coffee and a prayer. #markets
Reality isn’t a TikTok filter. Rent, food, and survival costs didn’t get the memo. Markets chase vibes—your wallet feels the truth.
Denial’s cute until your paycheck buys you a coffee and a prayer. #markets
April 28, 2025 at 2:20 AM
MYTH: "Inflation is over, everything’s fine."
Reality isn’t a TikTok filter. Rent, food, and survival costs didn’t get the memo. Markets chase vibes—your wallet feels the truth.
Denial’s cute until your paycheck buys you a coffee and a prayer. #markets
Reality isn’t a TikTok filter. Rent, food, and survival costs didn’t get the memo. Markets chase vibes—your wallet feels the truth.
Denial’s cute until your paycheck buys you a coffee and a prayer. #markets
**“Funny how ‘the rules’ only matter when you break them.
When they break them, it’s called ‘constitutional freedoms.’
Don’t worry. Leopards always eat their biggest supporters first.”**
#HypocrisySeason #NewRulesForYou #LeopardsEatingFaces
When they break them, it’s called ‘constitutional freedoms.’
Don’t worry. Leopards always eat their biggest supporters first.”**
#HypocrisySeason #NewRulesForYou #LeopardsEatingFaces
April 27, 2025 at 3:30 AM
**“Funny how ‘the rules’ only matter when you break them.
When they break them, it’s called ‘constitutional freedoms.’
Don’t worry. Leopards always eat their biggest supporters first.”**
#HypocrisySeason #NewRulesForYou #LeopardsEatingFaces
When they break them, it’s called ‘constitutional freedoms.’
Don’t worry. Leopards always eat their biggest supporters first.”**
#HypocrisySeason #NewRulesForYou #LeopardsEatingFaces
They didn’t just break the scales.
They took Justice herself and put her up for sale.
Bound. Silenced. Branded.
And the bids keep coming in, one ideology at a time."
When courts become commodities, freedom becomes folklore.
They took Justice herself and put her up for sale.
Bound. Silenced. Branded.
And the bids keep coming in, one ideology at a time."
When courts become commodities, freedom becomes folklore.
April 26, 2025 at 3:39 PM
They didn’t just break the scales.
They took Justice herself and put her up for sale.
Bound. Silenced. Branded.
And the bids keep coming in, one ideology at a time."
When courts become commodities, freedom becomes folklore.
They took Justice herself and put her up for sale.
Bound. Silenced. Branded.
And the bids keep coming in, one ideology at a time."
When courts become commodities, freedom becomes folklore.