“my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh and...and Eddie...with a man...with a man in his pajamas with a dog chain tied to his wrists and ankles. What the…?”

fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed, sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?”

....with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye, and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no good, rotten four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless….

“Star-Spangled Banner yet wave, O'er land of the free and the home of the brave? 🎶 Play ball!”

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays!

“since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f@#$ing Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!”