12/24/25: "My cousin-in-law, whose heart is bigger than his brain (Appreciate that, Clark) is innocent. I'll be more than happy to take the rap on this, on behalf of myself and every other employee you rear-ended this Christmas."
December 24, 2025 at 2:59 AM
12/24/25: "My cousin-in-law, whose heart is bigger than his brain (Appreciate that, Clark) is innocent. I'll be more than happy to take the rap on this, on behalf of myself and every other employee you rear-ended this Christmas."
12/23/25: "When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow, gave a luster of midday to objects below. When what to….
December 23, 2025 at 3:05 AM
12/23/25: "When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow, gave a luster of midday to objects below. When what to….
12/22/25: “Hey...if any of you are looking for any last-minute gifts for me...I have one. I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here, tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the rich people., and I want him brought right here....
December 22, 2025 at 12:31 PM
12/22/25: “Hey...if any of you are looking for any last-minute gifts for me...I have one. I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here, tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the rich people., and I want him brought right here....
12/21/25: “Do you smell that? (Fried pussycat!)”
December 21, 2025 at 3:02 AM
12/21/25: “Do you smell that? (Fried pussycat!)”
12/20/25: 🙏🏻 “I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, One nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. (Amen!)”
December 20, 2025 at 3:16 AM
12/20/25: 🙏🏻 “I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, One nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. (Amen!)”
12/19/25: “Let me see it. (Meow!) She wrapped up her damn cat!”
December 19, 2025 at 3:03 AM
12/19/25: “Let me see it. (Meow!) She wrapped up her damn cat!”
12/18/25: "Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer…"
December 18, 2025 at 2:45 AM
12/18/25: "Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer…"
12/17/25: “I just talked to my son. Uh, the company messenger brought something to the house. I guess that’s it. Nothing like waiting ‘til the last minute, huh?”
December 17, 2025 at 2:28 AM
12/17/25: “I just talked to my son. Uh, the company messenger brought something to the house. I guess that’s it. Nothing like waiting ‘til the last minute, huh?”
12/16/25: “But don’t you go falling in love with it now, because we’re taking it with us when we leave here next month.”
December 16, 2025 at 3:17 AM
12/16/25: “But don’t you go falling in love with it now, because we’re taking it with us when we leave here next month.”
12/15/25: “The little lights are not twinkling.”
December 15, 2025 at 3:33 AM
12/15/25: “The little lights are not twinkling.”
12/14/25: “(Sobbing) My carpet!”
December 14, 2025 at 4:22 AM
12/14/25: “(Sobbing) My carpet!”
12/13/25: “He worked really hard, Grandma. (So do washing machines.)”
December 13, 2025 at 12:36 PM
12/13/25: “He worked really hard, Grandma. (So do washing machines.)”
12/12/25: “Well, I-I don’t know what to say, except it’s Christmas and we’re all in misery.”
December 12, 2025 at 3:34 AM
12/12/25: “Well, I-I don’t know what to say, except it’s Christmas and we’re all in misery.”
🎶It's that time!🎶 Welcome to my 15th Annual “'Christmas Vacation' Countdown to Christmas Quotes!"
12/11/25: “They invented them, Russ, because people forgot how to have a fun, old-fashioned family Christmas and are satisfied with scrawny, dead, overpriced trees that have no special meaning.”
12/11/25: “They invented them, Russ, because people forgot how to have a fun, old-fashioned family Christmas and are satisfied with scrawny, dead, overpriced trees that have no special meaning.”
a man wearing glasses is smiling while sitting in a car
ALT: a man wearing glasses is smiling while sitting in a car
media.tenor.com
December 11, 2025 at 2:35 AM
🎶It's that time!🎶 Welcome to my 15th Annual “'Christmas Vacation' Countdown to Christmas Quotes!"
12/11/25: “They invented them, Russ, because people forgot how to have a fun, old-fashioned family Christmas and are satisfied with scrawny, dead, overpriced trees that have no special meaning.”
12/11/25: “They invented them, Russ, because people forgot how to have a fun, old-fashioned family Christmas and are satisfied with scrawny, dead, overpriced trees that have no special meaning.”
And we come to the end of another annual “Chad’s ‘Christmas Vacation' Countdown to Christmas Quotes.” Thanks for following along this year!
12/25/24: “🎶 And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air, gave proof through the night, that our flag was still there, O say, does that…
12/25/24: “🎶 And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air, gave proof through the night, that our flag was still there, O say, does that…
December 25, 2024 at 6:40 AM
And we come to the end of another annual “Chad’s ‘Christmas Vacation' Countdown to Christmas Quotes.” Thanks for following along this year!
12/25/24: “🎶 And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air, gave proof through the night, that our flag was still there, O say, does that…
12/25/24: “🎶 And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air, gave proof through the night, that our flag was still there, O say, does that…
12/24/24: “Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no! We’re all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas…
December 24, 2024 at 6:20 AM
12/24/24: “Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no! We’re all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas…
12/23/24: “Fixed the newel post!”
December 23, 2024 at 4:31 AM
12/23/24: “Fixed the newel post!”
12/22/24: “Not recently, Clark. He read that squirrels were high in cholesterol.”
December 22, 2024 at 2:51 AM
12/22/24: “Not recently, Clark. He read that squirrels were high in cholesterol.”
12/21/24: “Don't throw me down, Clark.”
December 21, 2024 at 3:02 AM
12/21/24: “Don't throw me down, Clark.”
12/20/24: “Ah, yeah. You checked our shitters, honey?”
December 20, 2024 at 2:52 AM
12/20/24: “Ah, yeah. You checked our shitters, honey?”
12/19/24: “Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?”
December 19, 2024 at 2:58 AM
12/19/24: “Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?”
12/18/24: “Honey, why don’t you run and get the kids things, and don’t forget the rubber sheets and the gerbils.”
December 18, 2024 at 3:15 AM
12/18/24: “Honey, why don’t you run and get the kids things, and don’t forget the rubber sheets and the gerbils.”
12/17/24: “And why is the carpet all wet, Todd?!”
December 17, 2024 at 3:17 AM
12/17/24: “And why is the carpet all wet, Todd?!”
12/16/24: “You want to hurry this up, Clark? I'm freezing my baguettes off.”
December 16, 2024 at 4:08 AM
12/16/24: “You want to hurry this up, Clark? I'm freezing my baguettes off.”
12/15/24: “Two hundred and fifty strands of light, 100 individual bulbs per strand, for a grand total of 25,000 imported Italian twinkle lights!”
December 15, 2024 at 2:54 AM
12/15/24: “Two hundred and fifty strands of light, 100 individual bulbs per strand, for a grand total of 25,000 imported Italian twinkle lights!”