Miss Cthulhu Kettner
@cthulhukettner.bsky.social
Comedy writer, inventor of the cat fez, blower upper of bathrooms (well, one bathroom), and plaything of The Fates.
Ah, the memories…I want to say that I’m as alluring as all fuckery, but I have to admit that I’m probably the problem plaguing my life.
October 18, 2025 at 4:37 PM
Ah, the memories…I want to say that I’m as alluring as all fuckery, but I have to admit that I’m probably the problem plaguing my life.
The year was 1660 and I had been spending time as Charles II. This was the year I came out of exile and had my throne restored. Those were crazy times man...
September 27, 2025 at 6:01 PM
The year was 1660 and I had been spending time as Charles II. This was the year I came out of exile and had my throne restored. Those were crazy times man...
My boy Derek Trotsky 10 years apart. It would appear he has contracted early onset Nick Nolte-ing, bless him. He remembers when all this was fields and you could have a night out for 50p
June 29, 2025 at 3:08 PM
My boy Derek Trotsky 10 years apart. It would appear he has contracted early onset Nick Nolte-ing, bless him. He remembers when all this was fields and you could have a night out for 50p
I’m really pleased that Duolingo is embracing the full French language experience by ensuring I am fully prepared for a Parisian verbal spat with someone who takes against me for reasons unknown. It would be a shock though - I’m thoroughly delightful.
June 26, 2025 at 12:20 PM
I’m really pleased that Duolingo is embracing the full French language experience by ensuring I am fully prepared for a Parisian verbal spat with someone who takes against me for reasons unknown. It would be a shock though - I’m thoroughly delightful.
Calling all snail shit experts!
June 11, 2025 at 7:59 PM
Calling all snail shit experts!
Brilliant night with Female Pilot Club at the 2025 showcase. Thank you to @athenakugblenu.bsky.social for being a bloody brilliant mentor and director of the read through of my script ‘What do we do about Belphegor?’ And thanks to the actors who brought my characters to life in such a fantastic way
May 14, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Brilliant night with Female Pilot Club at the 2025 showcase. Thank you to @athenakugblenu.bsky.social for being a bloody brilliant mentor and director of the read through of my script ‘What do we do about Belphegor?’ And thanks to the actors who brought my characters to life in such a fantastic way
Owen is W E I R D….
May 2, 2025 at 3:03 PM
Owen is W E I R D….
Christ, you’d think I joined the Crusades and pissed off to the Holy Land for 10 years - I only nipped to the shop for bread…
April 19, 2025 at 10:33 AM
Christ, you’d think I joined the Crusades and pissed off to the Holy Land for 10 years - I only nipped to the shop for bread…
Essential Welsh for the next time I’m a hobbit called Dewi who wakes up next to Smaug after a night on the piss…
March 28, 2025 at 9:13 PM
Essential Welsh for the next time I’m a hobbit called Dewi who wakes up next to Smaug after a night on the piss…
Oooh look! I got a laurel for my script ‘What do we do about Belphegor?’
March 26, 2025 at 3:58 PM
Oooh look! I got a laurel for my script ‘What do we do about Belphegor?’
My cup of hippy tea reckons I should let my heart guide me. I’ve reflected on this, as as my legs never know where the fuck we’re going, we’re gonna let a blood pumping organ make the decisions. Thank you Yogi Tea, I’ll let you know how we get on...
March 25, 2025 at 1:04 PM
My cup of hippy tea reckons I should let my heart guide me. I’ve reflected on this, as as my legs never know where the fuck we’re going, we’re gonna let a blood pumping organ make the decisions. Thank you Yogi Tea, I’ll let you know how we get on...
March 2, 2025 at 8:17 PM
Please someone find the shop selling this bag. In a mad moment of ‘adulting’ I decided I couldn’t justify the spend, the adverts disappeared and over time the world became a scary place. I now seek some ridiculousness to ease the daily misery that comes with the news.
February 16, 2025 at 9:11 PM
Please someone find the shop selling this bag. In a mad moment of ‘adulting’ I decided I couldn’t justify the spend, the adverts disappeared and over time the world became a scary place. I now seek some ridiculousness to ease the daily misery that comes with the news.
These guys look great. I wish they were my friends
February 8, 2025 at 7:16 PM
These guys look great. I wish they were my friends
Either my algorithms have taken a dark turn, or I’m being punished for blocking personalised ads. Whatever the reason, my guilt complex is telling me that the Universe is accusing me of skidder crimes and my life is effectively over.
January 26, 2025 at 12:33 PM
Either my algorithms have taken a dark turn, or I’m being punished for blocking personalised ads. Whatever the reason, my guilt complex is telling me that the Universe is accusing me of skidder crimes and my life is effectively over.
Found old papers from when Diana died. This is a pull out showing the faces of a crying nation. WHO THE FUCK DECIDED TO DRESS UP AS A CLOWN?
#princessdiana #cryingnation
#princessdiana #cryingnation
January 23, 2025 at 9:50 PM
Found old papers from when Diana died. This is a pull out showing the faces of a crying nation. WHO THE FUCK DECIDED TO DRESS UP AS A CLOWN?
#princessdiana #cryingnation
#princessdiana #cryingnation
These were my hot parents. Looking at myself in the mirror, I can only conclude they stole me from a couple called Darlene and Cletus
January 18, 2025 at 1:32 PM
These were my hot parents. Looking at myself in the mirror, I can only conclude they stole me from a couple called Darlene and Cletus
C’mon winter, enough’s enough - I’m starting to think that Derek’s epic piss from 3 days ago is going to become a permanent art installation. Oh, Derek is my tiny bald dog, not some big hairy bloke btw.
January 11, 2025 at 8:25 PM
C’mon winter, enough’s enough - I’m starting to think that Derek’s epic piss from 3 days ago is going to become a permanent art installation. Oh, Derek is my tiny bald dog, not some big hairy bloke btw.
TRAGEDY!
Pig mug, once so full,
Tea now drips through cracks and seams,
Silent, broken charm.
Pig mug, once so full,
Tea now drips through cracks and seams,
Silent, broken charm.
January 4, 2025 at 12:36 PM
TRAGEDY!
Pig mug, once so full,
Tea now drips through cracks and seams,
Silent, broken charm.
Pig mug, once so full,
Tea now drips through cracks and seams,
Silent, broken charm.
Well, that’s Christmas over for another year…
December 29, 2024 at 7:39 PM
Well, that’s Christmas over for another year…
One minute you're a Peaky Blinder, ready to fuck up anyone who's wronged you, then it all goes a bit Norman Wisdom and the moment is lost...
December 27, 2024 at 8:40 PM
One minute you're a Peaky Blinder, ready to fuck up anyone who's wronged you, then it all goes a bit Norman Wisdom and the moment is lost...
Jesus, I’m genuinely losing my mind - initially thought (with horror) that this was a basket of tits!
November 28, 2024 at 11:47 PM
Jesus, I’m genuinely losing my mind - initially thought (with horror) that this was a basket of tits!
Here’s the cat fez - I was learning to crochet granny squares but the Fates made me invent this magnificent piece of headwear instead. Modelled by Igloo Trotsky.
November 24, 2024 at 7:23 PM
Here’s the cat fez - I was learning to crochet granny squares but the Fates made me invent this magnificent piece of headwear instead. Modelled by Igloo Trotsky.
Oooh, I needed a bit of good news. Thank you Matriarch Productions and Birdie Pictures for putting me through to the next round.
November 23, 2024 at 1:00 AM
Oooh, I needed a bit of good news. Thank you Matriarch Productions and Birdie Pictures for putting me through to the next round.