[seeing the four harbingers of the apocalypse out my window while driving] oh horsies

It’s incredible to me how bad our timeline’s sci-fi movie is

Just what everyone asked for, a Robo-Sackler that can't be sued when you OD

[insert John Brown meme]

GOP : Voting for things we don’t like is a felony

This is past joking into yeah this is pure fascism red in tooth and claw

Just a reminder that you can also fax your Senators for free, if you really wanna annoy them faxzero.com/fax_senate.php

if we staff ICE with Uvalde police officers, they'll never enter schools

I think it is terrible that people are reporting homes with MAGA signs as possible locations for illegal immigrants. It is terrible and I wouldn't wish that anyone do this at the immigration reporting website.

I know you’re not complaining about DEI hires when you can’t spell “correspondent”

Me: *tip toeing mischievously toward MRI machine*

Health insurance company (hands on hips): Stop right there mister! Is that medically necessary?

Me (kicking dirt): No

You can’t blame voters for being uninformed when all of the news is paywalled but the propaganda remains free.

Luigi Mangione telling the jury why he shot the United HealthCare CEO