crisp
@crisp-red.bsky.social
everyone’s favorite would-be has-been
Pinned
[realtor trying to be politically correct] and if you step through here you’ll notice the en-suite bathroom has their and theirs sinks!
October 24, 2025 at 2:53 AM
[realtor trying to be politically correct] and if you step through here you’ll notice the en-suite bathroom has their and theirs sinks!
cool thing about pb&j is that some of the worst men in my life have given me pb&j preparation tips so every time i make one i go through a short series of flashbacks
October 22, 2025 at 4:07 PM
cool thing about pb&j is that some of the worst men in my life have given me pb&j preparation tips so every time i make one i go through a short series of flashbacks
me: damn why does my throat hurt
my water bottle hard at work brewing up its ninth super-bacteria and 15th mold strain: that sucks dude. is it allergy season or something?
my water bottle hard at work brewing up its ninth super-bacteria and 15th mold strain: that sucks dude. is it allergy season or something?
August 28, 2025 at 2:22 AM
me: damn why does my throat hurt
my water bottle hard at work brewing up its ninth super-bacteria and 15th mold strain: that sucks dude. is it allergy season or something?
my water bottle hard at work brewing up its ninth super-bacteria and 15th mold strain: that sucks dude. is it allergy season or something?
constantly reflecting on the fact that i, for years, misremembered gander as a group word for geese and though “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander” meant what’s good for one is good for all
August 7, 2025 at 2:29 AM
constantly reflecting on the fact that i, for years, misremembered gander as a group word for geese and though “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander” meant what’s good for one is good for all
love to go out and have a drink and then come home to my tiny dumbass dog. like wow how blessed am i that a small creature lives in my house and sometimes likes to hang out with me
August 1, 2025 at 3:20 AM
love to go out and have a drink and then come home to my tiny dumbass dog. like wow how blessed am i that a small creature lives in my house and sometimes likes to hang out with me
my favorite hobby is spending hours attempting to triangulate a doctor in my area who takes my insurance while also meeting various other criteria, before finally giving up and scheduling a random appointment with the energy of someone making an online impulse purchase
July 24, 2025 at 9:08 PM
my favorite hobby is spending hours attempting to triangulate a doctor in my area who takes my insurance while also meeting various other criteria, before finally giving up and scheduling a random appointment with the energy of someone making an online impulse purchase
Reposted by crisp
Working on a feature about DIY hormones and seeking fellow trans people to talk to, whether you're on a past or present DIY regimen, supplementing your regimen, or offering support to people seeking info. Anon/pseudonymous okay, my email is E2EE (sesmith at realsesmith dot com). Signal sesmith.74.
July 21, 2025 at 8:32 PM
Working on a feature about DIY hormones and seeking fellow trans people to talk to, whether you're on a past or present DIY regimen, supplementing your regimen, or offering support to people seeking info. Anon/pseudonymous okay, my email is E2EE (sesmith at realsesmith dot com). Signal sesmith.74.
[being told i have some rare pathogen typically found in dogs]
so you’re saying i’ve got that dog in me haha hell yeah brother up top
so you’re saying i’ve got that dog in me haha hell yeah brother up top
July 10, 2025 at 5:19 AM
[being told i have some rare pathogen typically found in dogs]
so you’re saying i’ve got that dog in me haha hell yeah brother up top
so you’re saying i’ve got that dog in me haha hell yeah brother up top
misread this as saying “it’s *not* hard to wrap my brain around” and within the space of a millisecond fully accepted “amelia earhart transitioned” as a plausible theory
July 4, 2025 at 12:14 AM
misread this as saying “it’s *not* hard to wrap my brain around” and within the space of a millisecond fully accepted “amelia earhart transitioned” as a plausible theory
months ago i walked into a break room one morning to see a coworker (who i’d exchanged maybe 3 words with up to that point) squeezing some mustard into a cup, and for reasons unknown i physically could not stop myself from saying, in a weird voice, “little soup for breakfast?”
July 3, 2025 at 11:55 PM
months ago i walked into a break room one morning to see a coworker (who i’d exchanged maybe 3 words with up to that point) squeezing some mustard into a cup, and for reasons unknown i physically could not stop myself from saying, in a weird voice, “little soup for breakfast?”
was operating under the illusion that i could perhaps “‘white-passing’ mode” my way through this summer for ~safety~ but about three days into true spring i’ve already begun to acquire a tan 👍🏼
April 30, 2025 at 10:59 PM
was operating under the illusion that i could perhaps “‘white-passing’ mode” my way through this summer for ~safety~ but about three days into true spring i’ve already begun to acquire a tan 👍🏼
of all the fantastical things that happen on lost, the single one that completely beggars belief is people swimming around all the time in jeans
April 28, 2025 at 4:37 AM
of all the fantastical things that happen on lost, the single one that completely beggars belief is people swimming around all the time in jeans
just found out that shiny pokémon are literally just shiny/ different colored and nothing else. after all these years of hearing about people going to great lengths to acquire them…. i need space no one talk to me
April 25, 2025 at 5:59 PM
just found out that shiny pokémon are literally just shiny/ different colored and nothing else. after all these years of hearing about people going to great lengths to acquire them…. i need space no one talk to me
i bet being in a (film) montage feels so good. i wish montages were real
April 16, 2025 at 2:50 AM
i bet being in a (film) montage feels so good. i wish montages were real
scrolling around before bed and suddenly realized the reason i’ve started mad men like five times without ever getting past a few episodes is that i turn it on every single time expecting it to be Doctor Gregory House But For Advertising and then remember that’s only like 5% of the show
April 15, 2025 at 5:07 AM
scrolling around before bed and suddenly realized the reason i’ve started mad men like five times without ever getting past a few episodes is that i turn it on every single time expecting it to be Doctor Gregory House But For Advertising and then remember that’s only like 5% of the show
at some point i became convinced that a person listening through a stethoscope can hear whatever song is stuck in your head, and as i’ve yet to un-convince myself of this i just make sure i listen to a nice song before i head into work with the med students 🙂↕️
February 21, 2025 at 12:38 AM
at some point i became convinced that a person listening through a stethoscope can hear whatever song is stuck in your head, and as i’ve yet to un-convince myself of this i just make sure i listen to a nice song before i head into work with the med students 🙂↕️
my latest thing is saying “bug found in rug” instead of “fork found in kitchen” which i’m sure will catch on
February 6, 2025 at 10:44 PM
my latest thing is saying “bug found in rug” instead of “fork found in kitchen” which i’m sure will catch on
accidentally unlocked a new, very specific fetish at work yesterday
![page from a book about hypnosis in dentistry with the heading hypnodontics — hypno-anesthesia. “Massage lower jaw lightly on outside of face for a moment or two then proceed, ‘As I massage your lower jaw you will find that your jaw muscles are becoming rigid and more rigid all the time; just like a steel vise. This will be only temporary. Now your jaw is locked like a steel vise, so much so, that you cannot close your mouth or move your jaw. [all caps] You may try but you’ll find that the more you try the more rigid will it become. Stop trying.’”](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:lzikitvkwpqrzs22jio7xesj/bafkreibjkr57z5wzgxaivwpejk5pncx3o7ohyonot3qrgmylvoqybt3ate@jpeg)
January 31, 2025 at 9:50 PM
accidentally unlocked a new, very specific fetish at work yesterday
i need everyone to give louise money so that my dissection may continue
nhttps://www.kickstarter.com/projects/weardjupiter/castration-movie-anthology-ii-the-best-of-both-worlds
nhttps://www.kickstarter.com/projects/weardjupiter/castration-movie-anthology-ii-the-best-of-both-worlds
January 22, 2025 at 4:01 PM
i need everyone to give louise money so that my dissection may continue
nhttps://www.kickstarter.com/projects/weardjupiter/castration-movie-anthology-ii-the-best-of-both-worlds
nhttps://www.kickstarter.com/projects/weardjupiter/castration-movie-anthology-ii-the-best-of-both-worlds
currently lounging on an air mattress next to a dog lounging on a dog bed and feeling like i’m missing some opportunities by not being a puppy girl
January 16, 2025 at 4:25 AM
currently lounging on an air mattress next to a dog lounging on a dog bed and feeling like i’m missing some opportunities by not being a puppy girl
ever catch yourself walking around composing a Top Ten Personal Traumas RANKED list in your mind
January 16, 2025 at 1:22 AM
ever catch yourself walking around composing a Top Ten Personal Traumas RANKED list in your mind
this is just like in art school when you slap some random crap together the night before crit and then reverse engineer some Deeper Meaning to tell your professors lol
![screenshot from the quoted article: “On a traditional film set, the background would be the same, things would be the same [from scene to scene]. The wallpaper [would be the same],” Chen Tang, director of The Slug, said. “We were like ‘Let’s not do wallpaper.’ It would change a lot. So we were like, ‘How can we creatively kind of get around that, so we did a lot of close-up shots, a lot of back shots, you know tried to keep dialog to a minimum. It really adds to that sense of loneliness … so we were able to get around some of the current limitations, but it also helped us in ways I think we would have never thought of.”](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:lzikitvkwpqrzs22jio7xesj/bafkreig45o6cjyfytir5ozppjlmv35ihrcpouwkmsfwmeu3lirsr5zwznm@jpeg)
January 7, 2025 at 6:16 PM
this is just like in art school when you slap some random crap together the night before crit and then reverse engineer some Deeper Meaning to tell your professors lol
watching tv with commercials and every ad break is like:
CAN WE INTEREST YOU IN AN EATING DISORDER?
WOULD YOU LIKE TO DEVELOP AN EATING DISORDER?
WOULDN’T YOU LOVE A GAMBLING PROBLEM?
HOW ABOUT AN EATING DISORDER?
CAN WE INTEREST YOU IN AN EATING DISORDER?
WOULD YOU LIKE TO DEVELOP AN EATING DISORDER?
WOULDN’T YOU LOVE A GAMBLING PROBLEM?
HOW ABOUT AN EATING DISORDER?
January 4, 2025 at 9:37 PM
watching tv with commercials and every ad break is like:
CAN WE INTEREST YOU IN AN EATING DISORDER?
WOULD YOU LIKE TO DEVELOP AN EATING DISORDER?
WOULDN’T YOU LOVE A GAMBLING PROBLEM?
HOW ABOUT AN EATING DISORDER?
CAN WE INTEREST YOU IN AN EATING DISORDER?
WOULD YOU LIKE TO DEVELOP AN EATING DISORDER?
WOULDN’T YOU LOVE A GAMBLING PROBLEM?
HOW ABOUT AN EATING DISORDER?
had an erotic moment in a dream where a beautiful woman poured her whiskey dregs in my mouth, hopeful this is a good sign for the coming year
December 31, 2024 at 5:45 PM
had an erotic moment in a dream where a beautiful woman poured her whiskey dregs in my mouth, hopeful this is a good sign for the coming year