Throwback to when I faked the score of two and a half men and tried to gaslight my friend into watching it

glizzy 🌭

how i feel in a new app 😂

"Honey, the strike is over, time for me to go back to work." We embrace. I close my office door, carefully remove the cover from my typewriter and insert a sheet of paper. I crack my knuckles, type HOSPICE SHELDON and stare at the wall for 9 hours.

A movie with a Remember Me type ending, but with the Oceangate Submarine.

On instagram, Im a sick freak. A heathen even, on twitter im a softboy, a little beta male

Everytime I burp in a bathroom stall, I get anxious and think everyone thinks Im eating shit

A movie no one ever talks about - it might not even be THAT good - but you still love it. filmsky 📽️🎬

Star Wars (1977)
fun Hidden Fortress remake with a scifi twist made by a still green George Lucas (his 3rd movie) A lesser Alec Guiness vehicle but Peter Cushing is great in this piece of 70s pulp

a cat smoking a cigarette would be so sick

Tag a homie who brings a Jeffery Epstein type of vibe to the function (has a lot of connections and money. Nothing else)

Two sentence horror be like:

Minions are so cute, until they are following your friend.

Because they only follow the most evil people in the world.

Googling ‘Real Life Clown Car’ and watching a video thats playing suspenseful and threatening music as 30 people exit a tiny car

Neighbors in Paris (Taylors Version)

When I used threads, (Yes, I was a Threadator), I tweeted that I saw @secretarypete take off his wedding ring and walk into a hooters then an hour later I saw this and shat my britches

Bro just asked if we’ve ever peed on our balls. What the fuck did he mean by that