Crazy Ralph 🥃 (God damn parody!!!)
@crazyralph1980.bsky.social
I'm a Messenger of God!! You're doomed!!! You're all doomed!!! Parody!!!!
What I wouldn't give to be 76 again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
December 3, 2025 at 4:22 PM
What I wouldn't give to be 76 again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My new god damn solo album will be dropping on November 28th!!!!! Just in time for the holiday season!!!!!!
November 13, 2025 at 1:55 PM
My new god damn solo album will be dropping on November 28th!!!!! Just in time for the holiday season!!!!!!
Hot damn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
November 9, 2025 at 12:26 PM
Hot damn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Never fear! The god damn new Cracker Barrel logo is here!!!!!
August 27, 2025 at 5:15 PM
Never fear! The god damn new Cracker Barrel logo is here!!!!!
Bob Ross!!! You gotta be god damn shittin me!!!
July 7, 2025 at 6:02 PM
Bob Ross!!! You gotta be god damn shittin me!!!
Need a new car stereo?! Come to Crazy Ralph's Car Stereo! We test each car stereo with nothing but Kid Rock ditties because, let's face it, if we can make that bullshit sound good we can make anything sound good! Use promo code DOOM and get a free Conway Twitty CD of your choice!
July 1, 2025 at 12:11 PM
Need a new car stereo?! Come to Crazy Ralph's Car Stereo! We test each car stereo with nothing but Kid Rock ditties because, let's face it, if we can make that bullshit sound good we can make anything sound good! Use promo code DOOM and get a free Conway Twitty CD of your choice!
According to the ditty that just played, apparently, You want it all but you can't have it!!!! And also,
It's in your face but you can't grab it!!!!!
#WalmartRadio
It's in your face but you can't grab it!!!!!
#WalmartRadio
June 29, 2025 at 1:16 PM
According to the ditty that just played, apparently, You want it all but you can't have it!!!! And also,
It's in your face but you can't grab it!!!!!
#WalmartRadio
It's in your face but you can't grab it!!!!!
#WalmartRadio
What it's like hanging out with me!!!!!!!!!
June 26, 2025 at 3:34 PM
What it's like hanging out with me!!!!!!!!!
DM of DOOM!!!!!
June 18, 2025 at 3:48 AM
DM of DOOM!!!!!
This is who runs this god damn account!!!!!!!
June 17, 2025 at 12:22 PM
This is who runs this god damn account!!!!!!!
I got kicked out of karate class last night for shitting my god damn gi!!!!!!!!
June 17, 2025 at 12:20 PM
I got kicked out of karate class last night for shitting my god damn gi!!!!!!!!
DM of DOOM!!!!!!
June 17, 2025 at 12:20 PM
DM of DOOM!!!!!!
Another Friday the 13th is in the god damn books!!!!!! People Wanged, people chunged, and I'm sure lots of doobies were smoked!!!! Hopefully things can get back to normal!!!!!!!!
June 14, 2025 at 7:37 PM
Another Friday the 13th is in the god damn books!!!!!! People Wanged, people chunged, and I'm sure lots of doobies were smoked!!!! Hopefully things can get back to normal!!!!!!!!
I took an early flight to Oakland!!!! No god damn masked assholes will be bothering me today!!!!!
June 13, 2025 at 2:22 PM
I took an early flight to Oakland!!!! No god damn masked assholes will be bothering me today!!!!!
In 1985, after watching Back to the Future, I had the idea of putting a god damn flux capacitor on my bike, go back to 1945, kick Elias in the Jimmy using the crane technique I learned the year before, and make Jason's birth impossible!! I just couldn't get my bike up to 85 mph!
May 30, 2025 at 11:26 AM
In 1985, after watching Back to the Future, I had the idea of putting a god damn flux capacitor on my bike, go back to 1945, kick Elias in the Jimmy using the crane technique I learned the year before, and make Jason's birth impossible!! I just couldn't get my bike up to 85 mph!
You're doomed if you stay here!!!
May 24, 2025 at 3:56 AM
You're doomed if you stay here!!!
My fantasy baseball opponent is cursed! Cursed!!!!!
May 23, 2025 at 5:24 PM
My fantasy baseball opponent is cursed! Cursed!!!!!
I can cross this off the god damn bucket list!!!!!!!
May 15, 2025 at 4:12 PM
I can cross this off the god damn bucket list!!!!!!!
Happy Mother's Day to my god damn mom!!!! 134 and still kickin!!!!!
May 11, 2025 at 4:59 PM
Happy Mother's Day to my god damn mom!!!! 134 and still kickin!!!!!
And that, kids, is how I got a 2 week ban from the god damn Cracker Barrel!!!!!!
May 11, 2025 at 2:46 AM
And that, kids, is how I got a 2 week ban from the god damn Cracker Barrel!!!!!!
May 4, 2025 at 5:59 PM
Luke!! You will go to Piggly Wiggly! There you will find Pizzeria Combos on sale 4/$10.00! You will buy them out and bring them to my homestead and I'll reuimburse you! I'd do it myself, but my one week ban for shitting my pants hasn't ended yet!
#MayThe4thBeWithYou
#MayThe4th
#MayThe4thBeWithYou
#MayThe4th
May 4, 2025 at 5:56 PM
Luke!! You will go to Piggly Wiggly! There you will find Pizzeria Combos on sale 4/$10.00! You will buy them out and bring them to my homestead and I'll reuimburse you! I'd do it myself, but my one week ban for shitting my pants hasn't ended yet!
#MayThe4thBeWithYou
#MayThe4th
#MayThe4thBeWithYou
#MayThe4th
The Cantina better have Johnnie Walker or someone is going to lose a god damn arm!!!
#MayThe4thBeWithYou
#MayThe4th
#MayThe4thBeWithYou
#MayThe4th
May 4, 2025 at 5:54 PM
The Cantina better have Johnnie Walker or someone is going to lose a god damn arm!!!
#MayThe4thBeWithYou
#MayThe4th
#MayThe4thBeWithYou
#MayThe4th