CrapPortraits
@crapportraits.bsky.social
Commissions considered, as presents for people you hate.
@Crap_portraits on twitter
www.hisdancingleg.com
@Crap_portraits on twitter
www.hisdancingleg.com
I can’t begin to believe how excited you are to see a Friday portrait. It’s hardly a weekend without one.
youll no doubt be relieved and astounded in equal measure to hear that no AI was used in its production.
truly crap, but you wouldn’t have it by other way.
youll no doubt be relieved and astounded in equal measure to hear that no AI was used in its production.
truly crap, but you wouldn’t have it by other way.
November 21, 2025 at 6:55 PM
I can’t begin to believe how excited you are to see a Friday portrait. It’s hardly a weekend without one.
youll no doubt be relieved and astounded in equal measure to hear that no AI was used in its production.
truly crap, but you wouldn’t have it by other way.
youll no doubt be relieved and astounded in equal measure to hear that no AI was used in its production.
truly crap, but you wouldn’t have it by other way.
I haven’t done a brilliant portrait in a long time. No change there then.
August 15, 2025 at 8:55 PM
I haven’t done a brilliant portrait in a long time. No change there then.
Who doesn't love a bargain?
August 14, 2025 at 8:05 PM
Who doesn't love a bargain?
Just out getting a bit of shopping... spotted this
July 22, 2025 at 5:42 PM
Just out getting a bit of shopping... spotted this
Here’s a portrait I did six years ago. I don’t really like most of my portraits but I like a few, this is one, even though it’s crap (obvs).
July 18, 2025 at 8:38 PM
Here’s a portrait I did six years ago. I don’t really like most of my portraits but I like a few, this is one, even though it’s crap (obvs).
OK, Ive had a short break from portraits and this week I have returned to charcoal.
You'll be relieved to know that no fragment of skill has accidentally be lodged in this weeks portrait. Normal service has been resumed.
You'll be relieved to know that no fragment of skill has accidentally be lodged in this weeks portrait. Normal service has been resumed.
June 27, 2025 at 6:01 PM
OK, Ive had a short break from portraits and this week I have returned to charcoal.
You'll be relieved to know that no fragment of skill has accidentally be lodged in this weeks portrait. Normal service has been resumed.
You'll be relieved to know that no fragment of skill has accidentally be lodged in this weeks portrait. Normal service has been resumed.
Easily the worst park I've seen in a decade. There was no one in the car, this is a "park".
June 25, 2025 at 9:58 PM
Easily the worst park I've seen in a decade. There was no one in the car, this is a "park".
Sunday dose of tranquillity
June 1, 2025 at 7:09 PM
Sunday dose of tranquillity
#1776 this is actor Laurence Fishburne
May 31, 2025 at 5:33 PM
#1776 this is actor Laurence Fishburne
#1775 this is actor Ciaran Hinds
May 31, 2025 at 5:28 PM
#1775 this is actor Ciaran Hinds
I was in a supermarket today. I can’t help but be in awe of other people’s shopping baskets. One guy has 172 bottles of coors beer and a packet of nappies. Another had 16 0.5l , that’s 8 litres of yogurt. The mind boggles 🤯
May 23, 2025 at 11:07 PM
I was in a supermarket today. I can’t help but be in awe of other people’s shopping baskets. One guy has 172 bottles of coors beer and a packet of nappies. Another had 16 0.5l , that’s 8 litres of yogurt. The mind boggles 🤯
Friday night, must be time for a portrait. I have a feeling you’ll not guess this one.
May 23, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Friday night, must be time for a portrait. I have a feeling you’ll not guess this one.
It’s Friday portrait time, for those of you that can be bothered. I really must get back to paper one of these days.
Not this week though.
Not this week though.
May 9, 2025 at 6:01 PM
It’s Friday portrait time, for those of you that can be bothered. I really must get back to paper one of these days.
Not this week though.
Not this week though.
Friday goslings in the sunshine.
May 9, 2025 at 1:50 PM
Friday goslings in the sunshine.
Reposted by CrapPortraits
April 20, 2025 at 9:57 PM
Here’s a portrait I drew in April 2017.
April 19, 2025 at 1:29 PM
Here’s a portrait I drew in April 2017.
The art of the deal.
Expecting any moment to hear from team trump how this is a masterstroke and was the plan all along. 🙄
Trump exempts smartphones and computers from new tariffs
www.bbc.com/news/article...
Expecting any moment to hear from team trump how this is a masterstroke and was the plan all along. 🙄
Trump exempts smartphones and computers from new tariffs
www.bbc.com/news/article...
Trump exempts smartphones and computers from new tariffs
The move comes after concerns that tech prices could skyrocket, as many gadgets are made in China.
www.bbc.com
April 12, 2025 at 2:33 PM
The art of the deal.
Expecting any moment to hear from team trump how this is a masterstroke and was the plan all along. 🙄
Trump exempts smartphones and computers from new tariffs
www.bbc.com/news/article...
Expecting any moment to hear from team trump how this is a masterstroke and was the plan all along. 🙄
Trump exempts smartphones and computers from new tariffs
www.bbc.com/news/article...
It’s Friday, it’s portrait time,so you get this. I suppose you should be grateful. It could be worse. Probably.
April 4, 2025 at 6:00 PM
It’s Friday, it’s portrait time,so you get this. I suppose you should be grateful. It could be worse. Probably.
It’s Friday so time for another dose of crap to be released down the sluice.
March 28, 2025 at 7:00 PM
It’s Friday so time for another dose of crap to be released down the sluice.
Reposted by CrapPortraits
Quick sketch of Ulrich Mühe. He was an incredible actor, well known for his role in The Lives Of Others.
March 21, 2025 at 11:13 PM
Quick sketch of Ulrich Mühe. He was an incredible actor, well known for his role in The Lives Of Others.
Friday portrait time. You’re overdue a very difficult guess. But I had to give you this dead easy one, it’s as easy as baking bread.
March 21, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Friday portrait time. You’re overdue a very difficult guess. But I had to give you this dead easy one, it’s as easy as baking bread.
We all need to understand this.
Trump tariffs are good, everyone else’s are “nasty”. 🙄
www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cx...
Trump tariffs are good, everyone else’s are “nasty”. 🙄
www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cx...
Trump threatens 200% tariff on alcohol from EU countries - latest
The US president says it will happen unless the EU stops a
www.bbc.co.uk
March 13, 2025 at 1:03 PM
We all need to understand this.
Trump tariffs are good, everyone else’s are “nasty”. 🙄
www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cx...
Trump tariffs are good, everyone else’s are “nasty”. 🙄
www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cx...
So Trumps “revenge” for Canada making things dearer for Americans is to … checks notes … make things dearer for Americans.
March 11, 2025 at 6:24 PM
So Trumps “revenge” for Canada making things dearer for Americans is to … checks notes … make things dearer for Americans.
I ordered heating oil for house.
Lady on phone said they could deliver on Tuwednesday.
I told her Tuwednesday would be great....
Stony silence.😳
Lady on phone said they could deliver on Tuwednesday.
I told her Tuwednesday would be great....
Stony silence.😳
March 8, 2025 at 4:59 PM
I ordered heating oil for house.
Lady on phone said they could deliver on Tuwednesday.
I told her Tuwednesday would be great....
Stony silence.😳
Lady on phone said they could deliver on Tuwednesday.
I told her Tuwednesday would be great....
Stony silence.😳
What a massive mistake.
March 7, 2025 at 7:56 PM
What a massive mistake.