"The story of deez nuts is: they're mixed!“

"el-LAH mihk-KAY“ starring "EM-mah MAHK-kee".

They should write a joint memoir and title it "Zzaddy Izzues"

It's 9/3/26. The white house denies persistent rumors that the pres. was incapacitated in last week's zeppelin crash. RFK Jr testifies to the House Subcommittee of Health on the importance of drinking hot dog water. HBO announces it's changing the name of its streaming service from HBox to Huzzee...

Long Day

I’ve always lived by this idea: The truth isn’t dead if we don’t let it die. New Yorkers don't throw up our hands and give up. That’s why I’ve never been afraid of Donald Trump or Mike Lawler. Right now, we have to fight.

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Goddammit, Hulu. For the thousandth time: no, I don't want to watch S1E1 of “Home Economics".

defector: fascist fucker gives nazi salute

new york times: at trump’s inauguration, a curious salutation

Either the sole trumper in my neighborhood is setting off fireworks, or climate change has made the winter so cold that the trees are breaking. Hard to tell which would be better.

Tom Brady is making Troy Aikman look like Dennis Miller.

👀 #nflmemes #NFL #nfl #Lions #Frauds #JaredGoff #JaydenDaniels #Commanders #Commies

Holy shit, let's go, #commies

I am, once again, announcing my willingness to serve as the Speaker of the House of Representatives.

I'm looking forward to the next Kevin Smith movie, where Jay and Silent Bob are now super into a healthy gut biome. The tagline? "Snoochie Kombuchies".

Butterfly Effect Theory dictates that all of this mess could have been avoided if Mr. Parker had received a simple cash award instead of that leg lamp.

When you think you cook a lot, but then you go visit your sister-in-law and get reminded to go sit back down.