Jonathan E Cowperthwait
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cowperthwait.sfba.social.ap.brid.gy
Jonathan E Cowperthwait
@cowperthwait.sfba.social.ap.brid.gy
49 followers 6 following 560 posts
Slow runner, fast talker, kind of medium speed reader. Tell your dog I said hi. @cowperthwait

🌉 bridged from ⁂ https://sfba.social/@cowperthwait, follow @ap.brid.gy to interact
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cowperthwait.sfba.social.ap.brid.gy
[Batman transition]
Hours later…
Cropped iPhone screenshot of a Siri response to an (offscreen) inquiry: “It’s 70º in the living room.”
November 20, 2025 at 4:58 AM
cowperthwait.sfba.social.ap.brid.gy
It’s sort of fun, for me, to hear Microsoft veterans assure everyone that *of course* they knew they were shipping lower-quality product. *Of course*, it was a *strategy* you guys. https://benbob.medium.com/a-tale-of-two-operating-systems-8f3ffd4f972e
Screencap of a Medium article by Ben Fathi. “There is no magic here: increased test combinatorics and distributed responsibility for end-to-end testing always result in lower end product quality. Windows (and Android) will always deliver a less polished product than anything Apple produces since someone else (the OEM) gets to pick and choose the hardware and software components that make up the overall system — and he gets to do so from among a dizzying array of options, most of which haven't actually been tested together. This is exactly why Microsoft started designing its own "Surface" tablets and Google its own "Pixel" smartphones.”
November 19, 2025 at 6:06 AM
cowperthwait.sfba.social.ap.brid.gy
https://mastodon.social/@eff/115572485835369523
Chase, an animated small dog that also is a cop, from the children’s dystopian hellscape program “Paw Patrol”
November 18, 2025 at 8:08 PM
cowperthwait.sfba.social.ap.brid.gy
Everyone pearlclutching that enshittification is somehow a brand new scourge when Microsoft had this on lock thirty damn years ago.
Excerpted Wikipedia text: “Released just as the Internet was beginning to become popular, Bob offered an email client with which a user could subscribe to MCI Mail, a dial-up email account. The price was $5.00 per month to send up to 15 emails. Each email was limited to 5,000 characters, and each additional email after the limit was reached was an additional 45 cents. Customers were required to call a toll-free phone number to set up the account.”
November 17, 2025 at 4:16 PM
cowperthwait.sfba.social.ap.brid.gy
Also, show me the backstory of Patrick Henry’s portraitist. Like, did they bang before his sitting or after?, or both?
A television shows a frame from Ken Burns’ “In Order To Be Free” with a painting of a hella zaddy Patrick Henry
November 17, 2025 at 4:28 AM
cowperthwait.sfba.social.ap.brid.gy
Screencap of Mad Men. Interlocutor and Pete in an elevator: “How are you?” “Not great, Bob”
November 14, 2025 at 7:35 AM
cowperthwait.sfba.social.ap.brid.gy
Anyway, Strava just named me the mayor of an alley behind a grocery store. 💪🏼
Screenshot from Strava. Jonathan Cowperthwait (me!) at 12:50 pm, using an Ultra Watch 2 in San Francisco, CA, completed Lunch Run, a distance of 8.02 miles at 9:28/mi pace. A big gold garland and banner: “You’re the Local Legend on Safeway Sprint; Most segment efforts in the last 90 days” as well as a map of central San Francisco with a wiggly line depicting a running route.
November 12, 2025 at 11:11 PM
cowperthwait.sfba.social.ap.brid.gy
I appreciate the tough pickle in which Senate Democrats have found themselves. Because, on the one hand, progressives are, like, fight fight fight; on the other hand, like
Lord Farquaad: “Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make”
November 10, 2025 at 1:35 AM
cowperthwait.sfba.social.ap.brid.gy
https://mouthf.art/@todd/115521637191778046
Still frame from “I Think You Should Leave” depicting Tim in a poorly made “elderly man” costume. Caption: “I don’t even want to be around anymore.”
November 9, 2025 at 8:35 PM
cowperthwait.sfba.social.ap.brid.gy
Ugh ok fine
Closeup of Jon’s hand holding a hardback copy of Cory Doctorow’s “Enshittification”, the title of which is largely and Helveticanly (?) emblazoned on a black background, along with a poop emoji whose mouth (??) is obscured by a string of characters implying profanity.
November 7, 2025 at 5:41 PM
cowperthwait.sfba.social.ap.brid.gy
LOL, my TV hadn’t even warmed up yet. #CApol
Photo of a TV showing CNN. “CNN Projection: California Redistricting Proposition 50 Passes”
November 5, 2025 at 4:06 AM
cowperthwait.sfba.social.ap.brid.gy
It had been a source of very mild frustration that in my 4,000 years of doing the NYT Crossword, I had once, somewhere, gotten something wrong. Fortunately, they’ve rejiggered their statistics page, and, look at me now, Mom.
Screenshot of the NYT Games iPad app. “Check out your achievements.” For the Crossword, 5231 puzzles solved, 100% solve rate, 85 current streak, 550 longest streak.
November 1, 2025 at 10:47 PM
cowperthwait.sfba.social.ap.brid.gy
A few weeks ago, I tried to order this button for a friend, but accidentally ordered a poster *of* the button. Left it on the kitchen table to flatten out for framing, where it still lay when my parents stopped by for a visit last night.
A kitchen table, on which is a 20-something inches by 30-something inches poster photograph of a campaign button, “My pick is Dick.” The poster is held down on four corners by heavy hardback books.
October 31, 2025 at 8:11 PM
cowperthwait.sfba.social.ap.brid.gy
Yo, dawg, I heard you liked Strava, so
Screenshot of the Strava “Who to Follow” [sic] app area, recommending a profile named “Strava Athlete” with no profile photo. “Strava follows you on Strava.”
October 31, 2025 at 7:15 PM
cowperthwait.sfba.social.ap.brid.gy
Another improbable trip around the sun. I don’t deserve my friends, never have, never will.
Birthday cake, exaggerated sparkling torch, old-old—old-ass man genuinely happy.
October 25, 2025 at 4:22 AM
cowperthwait.sfba.social.ap.brid.gy
What’s the significance of waiting twelve seconds? Why even wait ten? Do cable modems have huge capacitors or something?
Text messages from Comcast following a power outage: “Great! We're glad your power has been restored. Your services should be up and running again. If you're experiencing issues, we recommend restarting your TV box, Gateway or both. To restart, unplug your device, wait 12 seconds, and plug it back in. Wait 10 minutes for your device to come back online. If it still doesn't work, reply ‘Internet issues.’”
October 22, 2025 at 6:40 PM
cowperthwait.sfba.social.ap.brid.gy
Okay, bored now. Send Popeyes.
Screenshot of Pacific Gas & Electric “Outage Status” window. As of 10/21/2025, 8:20 PM PDT, power is off. Estimated restoration time 10/23/2025, 12:45 AM PDT. “Cause: This is an unplanned outage. Our crew shut off power to make an urgent repair safely.”
October 22, 2025 at 3:25 AM
cowperthwait.sfba.social.ap.brid.gy
I’m charmed that #strava has a status dash. Makes sense. This community absolutely would notice when our precious, precious stats don’t load.
Cropped screenshot of a Strava system health dashboard. A yellow alert: “Delayed map rendering in feed and routes. Investigating - We are looking into continued delays in generating activity maps and route images that are a result of the previous system outages.”
October 20, 2025 at 6:17 PM
cowperthwait.sfba.social.ap.brid.gy
Hej! Is #AppleMusic down for everyone else?
Screenshot of the Apple Music iPad app, in “search” mode, with a big blank modal, “Cannot Connect. The page couldn’t be loaded. Try again.”
October 20, 2025 at 5:22 AM
cowperthwait.sfba.social.ap.brid.gy
All morning now I’ve just been flitting through “Spatial Audio” demo playlists and basically being this guy.
Screenshot from Microsoft’s 2005 video imagining redesigning iPod packaging. Depicts an exuberant entertained middle-aged man listening to headphones, under the text, “Microsoft® I-pod™ PRO 2005® XP® Human Ear Professional Edition with Subscription*”
October 18, 2025 at 3:27 PM
cowperthwait.sfba.social.ap.brid.gy
SAN FRANCISCO—It is now running-tights season and you can’t make me like it.
asymmetrical selfie of an old, old man in Nike Dri-Fit and a pair of athletic tights, holding a second cup of coffee rather than running in the cold
October 16, 2025 at 3:01 PM
cowperthwait.sfba.social.ap.brid.gy
And a Nobel Prize in physics for proving that running downhill is easier than running uphill.
Screenshot of Strava “Pace Analysis” for a 9-mile run, showing bars consistently increasing in length — that is, speed increasing — beginning at mile 5, from approximately 9’50”/mile up to 8’40”/mile. The bar graph is superimposed over an area graph resembling a volcano, depicting altitude above sea level, showing a steep climb of approx 300 feet in three miles, a plateau with a slight dip in the middle at mile 5, then a steep descent back to sea level beginning at mile 7.
October 15, 2025 at 3:31 PM
cowperthwait.sfba.social.ap.brid.gy
Fuck you, Instagram
Screenshot of the Instagram app’s “Suggested for you” box, suggesting my late partner
October 15, 2025 at 12:01 AM
cowperthwait.sfba.social.ap.brid.gy
Hey boys 😈
A home kitchen counter with a bowl of cottage cheese beside a cottage cheese container.
October 8, 2025 at 8:05 PM
cowperthwait.sfba.social.ap.brid.gy
Richest tech company in the world.
Screenshot of column view Finder in macOS. The roundrect toolbar casts a rectangular shadow. Now you, too, can never unsee it.
October 6, 2025 at 5:07 AM