The Corduroy Bandit
@corduroybandit.bsky.social
Density’s Child
I’ll bring marshmallows.
Got any pointy sticks?
Got any pointy sticks?
November 15, 2025 at 10:56 PM
I’ll bring marshmallows.
Got any pointy sticks?
Got any pointy sticks?
It’s quite charitable to refer to her as a “former Prime Minister”.
More so than referring to Harold Shipman as “former GP”.
More so than referring to Harold Shipman as “former GP”.
November 15, 2025 at 10:24 PM
It’s quite charitable to refer to her as a “former Prime Minister”.
More so than referring to Harold Shipman as “former GP”.
More so than referring to Harold Shipman as “former GP”.
Genuinely - were you joking?
November 15, 2025 at 10:20 PM
Genuinely - were you joking?
You must either be joking or having a really incompetent aneurysm.
November 15, 2025 at 10:17 PM
You must either be joking or having a really incompetent aneurysm.
I’m going to call each one of them “fleshlight” until one snaps my neck.
November 15, 2025 at 10:13 PM
I’m going to call each one of them “fleshlight” until one snaps my neck.
How long do you think it takes to die from an aneurysm, compared to traffic getting out of a gig where I live?
Look at you in your Jetsons hovercar.
Look at you in your Jetsons hovercar.
November 15, 2025 at 10:10 PM
How long do you think it takes to die from an aneurysm, compared to traffic getting out of a gig where I live?
Look at you in your Jetsons hovercar.
Look at you in your Jetsons hovercar.
They’re loud as fuck.
Maybe at Coldplay.
Maybe at Coldplay.
November 15, 2025 at 10:08 PM
They’re loud as fuck.
Maybe at Coldplay.
Maybe at Coldplay.
If you’re at sea, you’re on your way.
If you’re on the wrong land, you could be lost.
If you’re in freshwater, that’s a specialisation of “on land”.
Just swim straight until you’re on the right or wrong land, to see if you’re lost.
If you’re on the wrong land, you could be lost.
If you’re in freshwater, that’s a specialisation of “on land”.
Just swim straight until you’re on the right or wrong land, to see if you’re lost.
November 15, 2025 at 10:03 PM
If you’re at sea, you’re on your way.
If you’re on the wrong land, you could be lost.
If you’re in freshwater, that’s a specialisation of “on land”.
Just swim straight until you’re on the right or wrong land, to see if you’re lost.
If you’re on the wrong land, you could be lost.
If you’re in freshwater, that’s a specialisation of “on land”.
Just swim straight until you’re on the right or wrong land, to see if you’re lost.
Actually glad you have this problem.
(It isn’t because you’re vegan)
Get a grip.
(It isn’t because you’re vegan)
Get a grip.
November 15, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Actually glad you have this problem.
(It isn’t because you’re vegan)
Get a grip.
(It isn’t because you’re vegan)
Get a grip.
Elbows. We are not beasts.
November 15, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Elbows. We are not beasts.
It didn’t seem sensible to make promises, when we’re clearly dealing with a psychopath.
November 15, 2025 at 6:19 PM
It didn’t seem sensible to make promises, when we’re clearly dealing with a psychopath.
The most unsettling thing we can do is ask that guy why the fuck he’s noncing you up at a urinal.
Then slap something out of his hand, into the realm of the urinal cake.
Maybe his phone.
Then slap something out of his hand, into the realm of the urinal cake.
Maybe his phone.
November 15, 2025 at 6:00 PM
The most unsettling thing we can do is ask that guy why the fuck he’s noncing you up at a urinal.
Then slap something out of his hand, into the realm of the urinal cake.
Maybe his phone.
Then slap something out of his hand, into the realm of the urinal cake.
Maybe his phone.
I’m authentic: I am what I eat.
90% pork fat.
90% pork fat.
November 13, 2025 at 6:10 PM
I’m authentic: I am what I eat.
90% pork fat.
90% pork fat.
Or it might be the snake
November 13, 2025 at 6:07 PM
Or it might be the snake
I recently decided to have “dry eyes”, which look and feel like this.
Lots of screen use, plus recently getting medicated for assma (sic.)
Basically, optician told me to cry more.
Lots of screen use, plus recently getting medicated for assma (sic.)
Basically, optician told me to cry more.
November 13, 2025 at 6:06 PM
I recently decided to have “dry eyes”, which look and feel like this.
Lots of screen use, plus recently getting medicated for assma (sic.)
Basically, optician told me to cry more.
Lots of screen use, plus recently getting medicated for assma (sic.)
Basically, optician told me to cry more.
You’re spelling Colin Robinson wrong.
November 13, 2025 at 5:55 PM
You’re spelling Colin Robinson wrong.
Can never reliably recall the lyrics of that old kids’ song, from the sea.
November 12, 2025 at 9:39 PM
Can never reliably recall the lyrics of that old kids’ song, from the sea.
I wouldn’t eat a Skeggy narna.
I’d eat two.
- Agriculture Skegness
I’d eat two.
- Agriculture Skegness
November 12, 2025 at 7:54 PM
I wouldn’t eat a Skeggy narna.
I’d eat two.
- Agriculture Skegness
I’d eat two.
- Agriculture Skegness
I fancy making everyone resit a driving test every ten years, rather than just re-applying.
November 12, 2025 at 7:31 PM
I fancy making everyone resit a driving test every ten years, rather than just re-applying.
I presume it was an equivalent of “gunt”for cock-havers.
(Though the word itself is peerless).
(Though the word itself is peerless).
November 12, 2025 at 7:26 PM
I presume it was an equivalent of “gunt”for cock-havers.
(Though the word itself is peerless).
(Though the word itself is peerless).
✅ Pay for NHS properly
✅ The Arts
✅ Global Equity and Resilience
✅ Electoral Improvement
✅ Dogs Tails Wagging
__ Winter fuel allowance for someone who drives eight Bentleys and called me a “libtard loony leftie”
✅ The Arts
✅ Global Equity and Resilience
✅ Electoral Improvement
✅ Dogs Tails Wagging
__ Winter fuel allowance for someone who drives eight Bentleys and called me a “libtard loony leftie”
November 12, 2025 at 7:24 PM
✅ Pay for NHS properly
✅ The Arts
✅ Global Equity and Resilience
✅ Electoral Improvement
✅ Dogs Tails Wagging
__ Winter fuel allowance for someone who drives eight Bentleys and called me a “libtard loony leftie”
✅ The Arts
✅ Global Equity and Resilience
✅ Electoral Improvement
✅ Dogs Tails Wagging
__ Winter fuel allowance for someone who drives eight Bentleys and called me a “libtard loony leftie”
9th November
November 12, 2025 at 7:15 PM
9th November