Comrade Calamity
@comradecalamity.bsky.social
☭ ML vers top alcoholic
A Latine twunk would fix me
April 12, 2024 at 2:02 AM
A Latine twunk would fix me
Straight cock got me wishing I could add a diagonal line to my Y chromosome
April 4, 2024 at 5:06 AM
Straight cock got me wishing I could add a diagonal line to my Y chromosome
God really snapped when he invented Brazilian men
April 4, 2024 at 5:02 AM
God really snapped when he invented Brazilian men
*roasts a dry-brined, beautifully-trussed chicken*
"Alexa, play Troye Sivan's 'Angel Baby'"
*pours some cheap Pinot Noir*
*Looks so hard into his eyes that his soul feels suddenly naked*
*Smacks a Chinese cleaver into the thigh*
"So are you a breast man or an ass man?"
"Alexa, play Troye Sivan's 'Angel Baby'"
*pours some cheap Pinot Noir*
*Looks so hard into his eyes that his soul feels suddenly naked*
*Smacks a Chinese cleaver into the thigh*
"So are you a breast man or an ass man?"
January 17, 2024 at 7:05 AM
*roasts a dry-brined, beautifully-trussed chicken*
"Alexa, play Troye Sivan's 'Angel Baby'"
*pours some cheap Pinot Noir*
*Looks so hard into his eyes that his soul feels suddenly naked*
*Smacks a Chinese cleaver into the thigh*
"So are you a breast man or an ass man?"
"Alexa, play Troye Sivan's 'Angel Baby'"
*pours some cheap Pinot Noir*
*Looks so hard into his eyes that his soul feels suddenly naked*
*Smacks a Chinese cleaver into the thigh*
"So are you a breast man or an ass man?"
He sends me skeets at 3:46am he's the love of my life
December 29, 2023 at 9:00 AM
He sends me skeets at 3:46am he's the love of my life
Getting a drunk text from your crush is the 30s equivalent of walking into the Scholastic Book Fair
December 29, 2023 at 3:33 AM
Getting a drunk text from your crush is the 30s equivalent of walking into the Scholastic Book Fair
I need someone Lucille Balls deep in me like give me that Ricky Ricardo backshot baby
December 29, 2023 at 3:23 AM
I need someone Lucille Balls deep in me like give me that Ricky Ricardo backshot baby
I love when I'm whisking something vigorously and my balls bounce around
December 28, 2023 at 10:25 PM
I love when I'm whisking something vigorously and my balls bounce around
You ever feel like the Beast when you finally give up on your unattainable crush and wish them the best life right before the last enchanted rose petal falls off and then howl on the battlements of your castle as they gallop away on horseback into a wolf-infested forest to save their insane father?
December 23, 2023 at 11:47 PM
You ever feel like the Beast when you finally give up on your unattainable crush and wish them the best life right before the last enchanted rose petal falls off and then howl on the battlements of your castle as they gallop away on horseback into a wolf-infested forest to save their insane father?
Dickensian gay porno where the top is named Ebensqueezer Splooge and the haunting bottom is Cake-ob Marley
December 19, 2023 at 9:41 PM
Dickensian gay porno where the top is named Ebensqueezer Splooge and the haunting bottom is Cake-ob Marley
[To the tune of "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch"] I wouldn't FUCK you with a...38 and a half foot SCHLONNNNGG! *doo doodley DOO doo*
December 19, 2023 at 9:39 PM
[To the tune of "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch"] I wouldn't FUCK you with a...38 and a half foot SCHLONNNNGG! *doo doodley DOO doo*
*show runs out of episodes* alright, back to my usual sorrow now
December 5, 2023 at 7:31 AM
*show runs out of episodes* alright, back to my usual sorrow now
Oh no! I've succumbed to my strange and disastrous compulsions!
December 4, 2023 at 9:47 PM
Oh no! I've succumbed to my strange and disastrous compulsions!
Eating 5 pizzas and jacking off to gay porn all by yourself handsome?
December 3, 2023 at 11:43 PM
Eating 5 pizzas and jacking off to gay porn all by yourself handsome?
Cauldron coded and witch maxxing
December 1, 2023 at 6:41 AM
Cauldron coded and witch maxxing
Toiling all by yourself handsome?
December 1, 2023 at 6:38 AM
Toiling all by yourself handsome?
I'm basically that little moth that Gandalf whispered crazy shit to on the top of Isengard
November 30, 2023 at 8:00 AM
I'm basically that little moth that Gandalf whispered crazy shit to on the top of Isengard
If there comes a relationship where you no longer feel like the Frodo but the Samwise Gamgee you should hang on for dear life
November 30, 2023 at 7:59 AM
If there comes a relationship where you no longer feel like the Frodo but the Samwise Gamgee you should hang on for dear life
I was in the 0.01% fans of having an unhealthy obsession with you
November 30, 2023 at 6:30 AM
I was in the 0.01% fans of having an unhealthy obsession with you
Listening to Animal Collective and having a flashback of throwing up under a porch
November 30, 2023 at 3:50 AM
Listening to Animal Collective and having a flashback of throwing up under a porch
Oh no! The general theme of my life in this era is making irrevocable and calamitous decisions!
November 29, 2023 at 10:39 PM
Oh no! The general theme of my life in this era is making irrevocable and calamitous decisions!
Calculating the socially necessary labor time that went into this bunch of bananas all by yourself handsome?
November 29, 2023 at 8:54 PM
Calculating the socially necessary labor time that went into this bunch of bananas all by yourself handsome?
All of my love letters are ransom note coded
November 29, 2023 at 5:27 PM
All of my love letters are ransom note coded
I'm not just down bad, bro. I'm down villainous. I'm down delinquent. Down nefarious.
November 29, 2023 at 5:20 PM
I'm not just down bad, bro. I'm down villainous. I'm down delinquent. Down nefarious.
At this point I'm basically that tragic Florentine maiden who threatens to hurl herself into the Arno if he doesn't put a ring on it
November 29, 2023 at 4:55 PM
At this point I'm basically that tragic Florentine maiden who threatens to hurl herself into the Arno if he doesn't put a ring on it