God it is so bleak out there guys.

Bc when I’m getting on ig or tw*tter or something I’m expecting entertainment or information, bettering my mood or my intellect right? But getting hits from tinder or bumble or hinge, even if the responses r chopped you’re being told you are desirable, which improves a deeper sense of self worth.

Adding one last thing onto this, I also think it sucks feeling like my worth is condensed into being just another notification in a drop-down list of notifications just to make someone else feel good about being “popular” 😕

I’ve met some beautiful spirits on this app don’t get me wrong. I just don’t know if I could genuinely trust a real romantic connection made on there without worrying whether or not they go back to the dopamine mines that are Dating Apps.

Not to mention these apps r designed to get people to bite off more than they can chew so to speak, thereby lowkey incentivizing cheating 😶😶 esp if ur not good at communicating exactly what ur looking for (or if u just straight up lie, which ppl do).

These are ppl at the end of the day and I can feel the quick-scrolling, match-making rush the same way it feels to scroll thru short form content. These are people! This is love! (or lust in many cases) I just don’t think it’s healthy for how it takes advantage of how the human brain is wired 🫤

This jacket is drugs. Goddddaaaammnnn. This is the yearning they speak of.

Also she got super incredibly cold tn and I THANK GOD brought an extra jacket. She wore it. It smells like her. I’m in heaven.

I don’t want to be an asshole with this shit. If the right thing comes my way so be it, even if it takes forever. At least I’ll know who I am and what I’m doing, rather than making an asshole out of myself.

Those things I started being the following:

1. A date on Sunday with a girl I know nothing about (kinda exciting)

2. A hookup at some point with a random girl I understand does this a lot (exciting)

3. Another date farther out with a girl who seems really sweet (also exciting)

The reason I broke things off really was because it felt almost like the same relationship as my last one. Stable, boring, and more about the love I was receiving than anything truly mutual. She doesn’t deserve that, my ex didn’t either, no one does. So I’m gonna go out looking for better.

Who even am I anymore lol

I’ll probably go for these a couple times before it starts getting depressing lwk

I need to have faith. I need to use my youth while I still just barely have it. Keep exploring, keep looking. Settling down right now, siphoning more time away down the drain, that serves no one. It’s like clinging to an outcropping of rock on a waterfall — it’s gonna break. Swim the water or drown.