Understanding Behaviours -

Our behaviours have triggers.
And they have consequences
Triggers might be thoughts, feelings, situations, physiological states, sensation, or even genetics.
The consequence of a behaviour may reinforce the behaviour.
Or it might dilute or diminish the behaviour.

It is lovely when you receive a message like this, from a client I worked with an year back.

To seek and find clarity is a joyful experience. That is what makes coaching so much fun, as I get to accompany my clients on the journey to clarity.

Thanks, ST!

Many leaders feel that they are oxygen for their team.
They feel they are needed all the time.
And without them, their company, or team, or project will die.

But I think leaders are more like food is for us.
Needed only in small regular dosage.

What do you think?

Even the most aggressive and successful leaders have fear.
They are tentative.
They tend to question themselves.
They rationalise their unhelpful actions.
They drag their feet on important decisions.

It is not just you or I.
It is all of us, battling similar demons.

A founder is very resistant to the idea of micro-management.
He believes it is a slippery slope.
Because if you start micro-managing, your team will lean back and expect to me micro-managed.
And to be told.
He wants to avoid that from happening.
Seems perfectly fine, doesnt it.

Yesterday, my mentor called me soft.
In the past, that remark would have offended me.
Yesterday it didn't.
Because I have come to realise that his remark is his perception.
It is not the truth.
And it's not me. At least in this case.

As a founder the last thing you want to be is rigid.
But are you sure you aren't psychologically rigid?
Here are 6 symptoms - check if any of these apply to you.

Right or wrong?
That's a favorite question for many of us.
But is it the best question to ask in regards to ones behaviours?

I keep looking for shortcuts.
But every time I end up at a dead end.
I have finally come to realise.
That life has no shortcuts.
And I need to put in the work that I rather avoid.

I noticed that I was saying:
I got to send my child to school today.
I got to read that book.
I got to buy groceries today.

“Got to” is not always “want to”.
“Got to” is where I spend energy.
“Want to” is where I earn energy.

Finding the balance can be hard, yet necessary.

Some to-dos are stressful.
I procrastinate on them.
Others to-dos aren’t.
I tackle them quickly.

But procrastination adds stress.
Of a looming deadline.
And me failing to meet it.

The solution is obvious, but not easy.
Tackle what I don’t want to tackle.
That melts the stress away.

"I caused you stress," he said.
"Only I can cause myself stress," I said.

Unless I give control to others, how I feel depends on what I hear and what I make of it.
And I like to keep control of my emotional experience, as best as I can.
In doing so, I feel empowered.

Anxiety has this quality.
It hooks us.
To stay anxious.
And to stay stagnant.
And to take no action.

Often, for most of us, the way out is to take action.
Small it might be.
But action dilutes anxiety.
Because our conscious self takes control.
Back from anxiety.
Back from staying stagnant.