casey (not yet turkey lurkey flop queen)
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clberner.bsky.social
casey (not yet turkey lurkey flop queen)
@clberner.bsky.social
500 followers 1K following 590 posts
phd candidate, theatre artist, flop collector. i write about commercial failure(s), megamusicals, and neoliberalism. ask me about the 1986 musical RAGS. she/her/hers
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clberner.bsky.social
doing the classic new yorker in fall thing and romanticizing my life
a tan chihuahua walking on a tree-lined street in brooklyn, the sun peeking between the orange leaves
November 1, 2025 at 4:23 PM
clberner.bsky.social
hot girls with post migraine syndrome for zohran
selfie of me, a white woman in big red glasses with dark, medium length, slightly damp hair. no makeup and looking tired as hell. i’m holding up a pink water bottle covered in stickers, showcasing a black and orange “halloween voter 2025” with a picture of a trick-or-treating pigeon in the center
October 31, 2025 at 5:55 PM
clberner.bsky.social
returning to my roots
a screenshot of my lock screen from moments before this skeet was posted. i am most of the way through “Pretty Pretty Girl” from Diana the Musical. the album art is an inky blue impression of princess diana’s face on a white background. i will not hear criticism of my choices
October 24, 2025 at 2:15 AM
clberner.bsky.social
true personality post
blue bubble text to twitter’s kevin daly from me that reads: “like listen, famously, if the he wanted to say rewrite has no haters it means im dead”
October 16, 2025 at 3:36 AM
clberner.bsky.social
want to see something even sicker?
an apple notes app note that reads: Law and Order: ChessVU OBC: Judy Kuhn: -"Savant" (9.04) Philip Casnoff: -"Pixies" (2.09) David Carroll: never on SVU Marcia Mitzman: never on SVU 1990 Tour Carolee Carmello: -"Appearances" (4.19) -"Melancholy Pursuit" (17.08) John Herrera: -"911" (7.03) Stephen Bogardus: -"Uncivilized" (1.07) -"Alien" (7.11) Barbara Walsh: never on SVU (on OG and Cl though) 2003 AEA Julia Murney: -"A Single Life" (1.02) -need to note that she plaved a rabbi on 0- the previeous note, continued: 2003 AEA Julia Murney: -"A Single Life" (1.02) -need to note that she played a rabbi on organized crime on 1/25/24 and slapped chris meloni across the face Sutton Foster: -"PC" (11.13) Adam Pascal: never on SVU Josh Groban: never on SVU 2009 RAH: No one was on SVU 2018 KenCen: KO: -"Loophole" (8.13) -"October Surprise" (15.06) Ruthie Ann Miles: never on SVU Ramin Karimloo: never on SVU Raul Esparza: -literally a star of SVU, we can't watch every Barba episode but we love and support him 2022 Broadhurst: the same note, 3/3: 2022 Broadhurst: No one was on SVU Most SVUed cast of Chess: 1990 US tour at 3 actors, five episodes + bonus OG/CI Least SVUed cast of Chess: tie (2009/2022) Most iconic SVU appearance from a cast member in Chess: tie (Karen Olivo "October Surprise"/Carolee Carmello "Appearances") Chess cast member with the most LO appearances: Stephen Bogardus (six, including two SVU)
October 8, 2025 at 4:38 PM
clberner.bsky.social
the sweet culprit and the scene of the crime
me, a white lady with dark hair pulled back into a bun and stuffed under a grey phillies cap. it’s not a normal cap though, it’s like the one che guevara wore but with a red phillies P on the side. my head is turned all the way to the right at a weird upward angle so the camera gets the red P. i’m wearing glasses with big, thick red frames and a white phillies jersey with red pinstripes—you can’t see any evidence of this, but it’s a 2008 carlos ruiz jersey. snuggled up to my chest is archie, a sand-colored chihuahua. you only get the top of his head and his ears, though, because he’s too snuggly
October 5, 2025 at 3:13 PM
clberner.bsky.social
possible you're thinking of this throwaway joke
jenna from 30 rock saying to the guy who won her via surge points, "but the sheik who won me in that poker game was beheaded"
September 30, 2025 at 2:47 PM
clberner.bsky.social
i'm so sorry
the teenage mutant ninja turtles logo edited to read "deadly fettu-ccine outbreak," which scans metrically with "teenage mutant ninja turtles." there's a random hyphen in fettuccine because otherwise the generator wouldn't put "outbreak" in the turtle font
September 27, 2025 at 3:38 AM
clberner.bsky.social
apropro of nothing, i made this a month ago and *anne hathaway voice* it came true
that “______ tonight queen??” imessage meme, except its been crudely edited to be about a certain actress playing denise in the baker’s wife at csc
September 12, 2025 at 1:30 PM
clberner.bsky.social
me omw to mold the young minds of new york city (go birds say it back)
selfie of me, a white lady wearing a kelly green eagles hat, red glasses, an ivy green mask, and a cream-colored blouse with blue and green flower accents. you can’t see my green pants or green claw clip. an unfortunately-timed stye means i’m also not wearing any makeup, which means no sparkly green eyeshadow. i’m riding the subway. go birds.
September 4, 2025 at 5:28 PM
clberner.bsky.social
society if the CHESS obc had bothered to record the finale reprise of “anthem”
“society if” meme depicting a futuristic chrome-colored techno-utopia, with flying cars and a guy walking a robot dog. come to think of it, i should interrogate this image more.
August 26, 2025 at 2:30 PM
clberner.bsky.social
budget solution: i have probably closer to two dozen so ymmv, but i ended up repurposing a spice rack to be able to store more candles on top of the bookshelf. still a stacking situation, but it's a little more manageable
The top of a black bookshelf in the corner of a room—you can see some critical theory books on the top shelf. A variety of candles are stacked in front of, and on, the two shelves of a black metal spice rack. The walls adjacent to the bookshelf are decorated with theatre windowcards—posters for DIANA and CHESS are visible in the background.
August 25, 2025 at 4:16 PM
clberner.bsky.social
ouch (academia but same bs in a different font lmao)
June 25, 2025 at 2:26 PM
clberner.bsky.social
same energy
the sad oompa loompa at the sad oompa loompa table from that willy wonka experience ai scam
June 25, 2025 at 12:23 AM
clberner.bsky.social
lmao this stopped for the semester since school/research don’t count so it’s been all new yorkers all the time.

#3 (np): KISS OF THE SPIDERWOMAN

#4: DEATH AND THE MAIDEN by Ariel Dorfman (plays count)

fun to be reading so much lit that came out of south american military dictatorships rn
a hand holding a thin white paperback book. the top half of the cover is a black and white photograph of a bald man sitting captive in a wooden chair while a woman with short hair in an elegant top straddles him, holding a gun behind his head in one hand and gripping his chin menacingly with the other. below, a blue bar with “ARIEL DORFMAN,” the playwright’s name, written in white capital letters, then a white bar with the play’s name, “Death and the Maiden,” in black letters. The logo and name of Penguin Plays is at the bottom
May 28, 2025 at 9:53 PM
clberner.bsky.social
just a little birthday boy

📸 1 (as well as the party at which it was taken) by @pwiles3.bsky.social
screengrab of me, a recently-31 white woman with short wavy brown hair wearing a slutty green jumpsuit and black doc martens, in the midst of singing “Let Me Be Your Star” from SMASH. my arm is raised in a fistpump and i’m belting into a white microphone photo of my birthday dinner: a seafood boil with crab legs. WICKED (2024) is on in the background
May 27, 2025 at 12:23 AM
clberner.bsky.social
reminiscing on pre-2008:
meme of two texts: the first is a selfie of a guy in a hospital gown. the second is him texting “i lived bitch”
May 25, 2025 at 6:15 AM
clberner.bsky.social
Philly mentioned meme with an anime girl in a phillies cap holding a cheesesteak in one hand and a yards in the other
May 15, 2025 at 11:38 PM
clberner.bsky.social
Rags (1986)
eric andre shooting hannibal burress meme. top panel is eric, labelled "the producers and music team" shooting hannibal, labelled "the director." in the bottom panel, eric looks at the camera and asks "why would Joseph Stein's book do this?"
May 15, 2025 at 10:24 PM
clberner.bsky.social
sure star wars exists but more importantly it is BARLEY’S FOURTH BIRTHDAY
Barley, a grey tabby cat, eats a “birthday cake” of canned wet food, churu, and cat treats with a pink candle stuck in the top. the cake is on a nice-ish blue and white plate
May 4, 2025 at 4:51 PM
clberner.bsky.social
realizing it's time to move the Philadelphia 1776 Supercut over here instead of letting it languish on twitter
April 16, 2025 at 9:37 PM
clberner.bsky.social
a film that takes place where you’re from
a still from 1776 with (right to left, from closest to the camera) John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, and Thomas Jefferson sitting in a row in revolutionary-era garb. i think they’re about to sing “the egg” but it’s been a sec so i’m not sure
April 16, 2025 at 7:38 PM
clberner.bsky.social
my cat when she senses me trying to stir my overnight oats
Jenna Maroney from 30 Rock, a white blonde actress, looks distressed. She’s holding someone else’s pregnancy test and saying “Oh no! Someone’s gonna get more attention than me.”
April 13, 2025 at 1:52 PM
clberner.bsky.social
a dial labeled “Phillies” with two ends: a red “sucks” zone and a green “eats” zone. the dial is turned all the way to “eats”
April 6, 2025 at 8:17 PM
clberner.bsky.social
this is literally what it’s like living in enemy baseball territory
screenshot of a Liz Lemon quote from 30 Rock: "I get your Yankees tickets on A-Rod bobble head day. And I'm going to throw that thing in front of a train. Go Phillies!"
March 20, 2025 at 3:17 AM