Clarissa Dolphin
@clarissadolphin.bsky.social
POV: It's 2026 and your MySpace Top 8 are actually the 2026 astrological transits that'll ruin your life 💀
Last Login: 10/18/2007 (the last time anything made sense)
Which transit are YOU? 👇
๋⭑🛸๋⭑
Get your life together here: www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
Last Login: 10/18/2007 (the last time anything made sense)
Which transit are YOU? 👇
๋⭑🛸๋⭑
Get your life together here: www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
January 20, 2026 at 6:00 PM
POV: It's 2026 and your MySpace Top 8 are actually the 2026 astrological transits that'll ruin your life 💀
Last Login: 10/18/2007 (the last time anything made sense)
Which transit are YOU? 👇
๋⭑🛸๋⭑
Get your life together here: www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
Last Login: 10/18/2007 (the last time anything made sense)
Which transit are YOU? 👇
๋⭑🛸๋⭑
Get your life together here: www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
2026 Chaos Bingo is HERE and we're all playing whether we like it or not 🎰💀
Track the madness as it unfolds. First person to get BINGO wins... I dunno what, but something
I will hold your hand through this, bestie: www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
Track the madness as it unfolds. First person to get BINGO wins... I dunno what, but something
I will hold your hand through this, bestie: www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
January 18, 2026 at 7:48 PM
2026 Chaos Bingo is HERE and we're all playing whether we like it or not 🎰💀
Track the madness as it unfolds. First person to get BINGO wins... I dunno what, but something
I will hold your hand through this, bestie: www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
Track the madness as it unfolds. First person to get BINGO wins... I dunno what, but something
I will hold your hand through this, bestie: www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
Mars-Uranus is astrology's MOST unhinged duo imho and they're terrorizing us Jan-Dec 💥 Starts Jan 19—ZERO patience, ZERO thoughts, just pure ERUPTION. Don't get caught slipping—book your reading → clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
January 18, 2026 at 3:49 AM
Mars-Uranus is astrology's MOST unhinged duo imho and they're terrorizing us Jan-Dec 💥 Starts Jan 19—ZERO patience, ZERO thoughts, just pure ERUPTION. Don't get caught slipping—book your reading → clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
People are giving less & less fvcks in 2026 and there's a LOT of courage and insanity coming with it 🔥⚔️
๋⭑🛸๋⭑
Hit up my line here: www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
๋⭑🛸๋⭑
Hit up my line here: www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
January 17, 2026 at 1:00 AM
People are giving less & less fvcks in 2026 and there's a LOT of courage and insanity coming with it 🔥⚔️
๋⭑🛸๋⭑
Hit up my line here: www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
๋⭑🛸๋⭑
Hit up my line here: www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
Saturn conjunct Neptune in Aries Feb 20 = once every 100 YEARS & it's giving full crusades energy 🕊️⚡ Religious extremism, dying for beliefs, centuries of indoctrination shit. This isn't coffee shop conspiracies...
Find out where this lands in YOUR chart → clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
Find out where this lands in YOUR chart → clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
January 15, 2026 at 7:06 PM
Saturn conjunct Neptune in Aries Feb 20 = once every 100 YEARS & it's giving full crusades energy 🕊️⚡ Religious extremism, dying for beliefs, centuries of indoctrination shit. This isn't coffee shop conspiracies...
Find out where this lands in YOUR chart → clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
Find out where this lands in YOUR chart → clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
I want to remind everyone that Annabelle burnt down the plantation last year. 😇😈🔥
As Saturn-Neptune does its thing, Call On Your Ancestors.
As Saturn-Neptune does its thing, Call On Your Ancestors.
January 15, 2026 at 5:13 PM
I want to remind everyone that Annabelle burnt down the plantation last year. 😇😈🔥
As Saturn-Neptune does its thing, Call On Your Ancestors.
As Saturn-Neptune does its thing, Call On Your Ancestors.
Key themes for 2026: brazenness, courage, chaos, take no shit, martyrdom, fundamentalism, ideology, ritual, fighting ⚔️🔥
๋⭑🛸๋⭑
Hit up my line here: www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
๋⭑🛸๋⭑
Hit up my line here: www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
January 15, 2026 at 2:05 AM
Key themes for 2026: brazenness, courage, chaos, take no shit, martyrdom, fundamentalism, ideology, ritual, fighting ⚔️🔥
๋⭑🛸๋⭑
Hit up my line here: www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
๋⭑🛸๋⭑
Hit up my line here: www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
Brazen. Courageous. Chaotic.
Take no prisoners. Die on that hill. 2026 said "pick a side" and we're ALL about to find out what we're really made of ⚔️🔥
No more playing it safe, no more fence-sitting. Shit's about to get VERY real
Get your personal 2026 roadmap → clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
Take no prisoners. Die on that hill. 2026 said "pick a side" and we're ALL about to find out what we're really made of ⚔️🔥
No more playing it safe, no more fence-sitting. Shit's about to get VERY real
Get your personal 2026 roadmap → clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
January 13, 2026 at 9:01 PM
Brazen. Courageous. Chaotic.
Take no prisoners. Die on that hill. 2026 said "pick a side" and we're ALL about to find out what we're really made of ⚔️🔥
No more playing it safe, no more fence-sitting. Shit's about to get VERY real
Get your personal 2026 roadmap → clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
Take no prisoners. Die on that hill. 2026 said "pick a side" and we're ALL about to find out what we're really made of ⚔️🔥
No more playing it safe, no more fence-sitting. Shit's about to get VERY real
Get your personal 2026 roadmap → clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
Less astrology than 2025 but it hits just as hard...like switching from a 4Loko to a spiked espresso shot...
Both will getcha, just in different ways...😭
Book a reading to see how these shifts wreck (or bless) YOUR chart → www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/astrologyses...
Both will getcha, just in different ways...😭
Book a reading to see how these shifts wreck (or bless) YOUR chart → www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/astrologyses...
January 12, 2026 at 8:01 PM
Less astrology than 2025 but it hits just as hard...like switching from a 4Loko to a spiked espresso shot...
Both will getcha, just in different ways...😭
Book a reading to see how these shifts wreck (or bless) YOUR chart → www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/astrologyses...
Both will getcha, just in different ways...😭
Book a reading to see how these shifts wreck (or bless) YOUR chart → www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/astrologyses...
2025!!!!
It was a hell of a time, and I’m glad it’s over, but guess what? I am surrounded by the BEST people, some beautiful beings. I’m so lucky to have so much love and joy in my life, in hard times, ups, downs, all over.
THANK YOU, MY LOVES.
It was a hell of a time, and I’m glad it’s over, but guess what? I am surrounded by the BEST people, some beautiful beings. I’m so lucky to have so much love and joy in my life, in hard times, ups, downs, all over.
THANK YOU, MY LOVES.
January 7, 2026 at 3:48 AM
2025!!!!
It was a hell of a time, and I’m glad it’s over, but guess what? I am surrounded by the BEST people, some beautiful beings. I’m so lucky to have so much love and joy in my life, in hard times, ups, downs, all over.
THANK YOU, MY LOVES.
It was a hell of a time, and I’m glad it’s over, but guess what? I am surrounded by the BEST people, some beautiful beings. I’m so lucky to have so much love and joy in my life, in hard times, ups, downs, all over.
THANK YOU, MY LOVES.
End of year/start of NY = chaos. You = deserve rest.
I matched each sign to their ideal 90s/Y2K bedroom aesthetic because these rooms understood SANCTUARY.
Your 2026 assignment? Create a space where you can actually RELAX.
Find out more: www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/astrologyses...
I matched each sign to their ideal 90s/Y2K bedroom aesthetic because these rooms understood SANCTUARY.
Your 2026 assignment? Create a space where you can actually RELAX.
Find out more: www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/astrologyses...
January 4, 2026 at 9:08 PM
End of year/start of NY = chaos. You = deserve rest.
I matched each sign to their ideal 90s/Y2K bedroom aesthetic because these rooms understood SANCTUARY.
Your 2026 assignment? Create a space where you can actually RELAX.
Find out more: www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/astrologyses...
I matched each sign to their ideal 90s/Y2K bedroom aesthetic because these rooms understood SANCTUARY.
Your 2026 assignment? Create a space where you can actually RELAX.
Find out more: www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/astrologyses...
Your North Node = your point of unstoppable manifestation. Where your life-force meets no resistance.
And in 2026? That flow is coming for YOU......
Want to understand YOUR unstoppable flow? YOU'VE GOT OPTIONS, FRIEND!
Let's link up!! www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
And in 2026? That flow is coming for YOU......
Want to understand YOUR unstoppable flow? YOU'VE GOT OPTIONS, FRIEND!
Let's link up!! www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
January 3, 2026 at 12:40 AM
Your North Node = your point of unstoppable manifestation. Where your life-force meets no resistance.
And in 2026? That flow is coming for YOU......
Want to understand YOUR unstoppable flow? YOU'VE GOT OPTIONS, FRIEND!
Let's link up!! www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
And in 2026? That flow is coming for YOU......
Want to understand YOUR unstoppable flow? YOU'VE GOT OPTIONS, FRIEND!
Let's link up!! www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
I created a year-ahead tarot spread based on iconic Sunset Strip venues. Each position = a legendary venue w/a vibe for your 2026:
I'm booking tarot readings for Jan right now! 26% off with code 2026LIT cuz 2026 deserves intention, not chaos. www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/tarotreading
I'm booking tarot readings for Jan right now! 26% off with code 2026LIT cuz 2026 deserves intention, not chaos. www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/tarotreading
January 1, 2026 at 1:55 AM
I created a year-ahead tarot spread based on iconic Sunset Strip venues. Each position = a legendary venue w/a vibe for your 2026:
I'm booking tarot readings for Jan right now! 26% off with code 2026LIT cuz 2026 deserves intention, not chaos. www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/tarotreading
I'm booking tarot readings for Jan right now! 26% off with code 2026LIT cuz 2026 deserves intention, not chaos. www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/tarotreading
Who else just needs to get through Capricorn season lmao ♑️✨
Book a discounted reading (Code: GIFT2026) with me & get cosmic clarity. We can break down together.
www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/astrologyses...
Book a discounted reading (Code: GIFT2026) with me & get cosmic clarity. We can break down together.
www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/astrologyses...
December 31, 2025 at 3:48 AM
Who else just needs to get through Capricorn season lmao ♑️✨
Book a discounted reading (Code: GIFT2026) with me & get cosmic clarity. We can break down together.
www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/astrologyses...
Book a discounted reading (Code: GIFT2026) with me & get cosmic clarity. We can break down together.
www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/astrologyses...
the 8 types of astrology reading clients (no shade, all love) 🔮
which one are you? (probably 3 of these lmao)
2026 year-ahead readings are OPEN + gift certificates available
Go to clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/ to book!
newsletter subscribers get 26% off ✨
love ya!
which one are you? (probably 3 of these lmao)
2026 year-ahead readings are OPEN + gift certificates available
Go to clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/ to book!
newsletter subscribers get 26% off ✨
love ya!
December 29, 2025 at 11:45 PM
the 8 types of astrology reading clients (no shade, all love) 🔮
which one are you? (probably 3 of these lmao)
2026 year-ahead readings are OPEN + gift certificates available
Go to clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/ to book!
newsletter subscribers get 26% off ✨
love ya!
which one are you? (probably 3 of these lmao)
2026 year-ahead readings are OPEN + gift certificates available
Go to clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/ to book!
newsletter subscribers get 26% off ✨
love ya!
Spots are filling up FAST for 2026 year-ahead readings and I'm not even kidding 👀
www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/astrologyses...
P.S. Sign up for my newsletter and you could win a FREE monthly reading 🎁✨
Don't say I didn't warn you 🔮
www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/astrologyses...
P.S. Sign up for my newsletter and you could win a FREE monthly reading 🎁✨
Don't say I didn't warn you 🔮
December 27, 2025 at 2:45 AM
Spots are filling up FAST for 2026 year-ahead readings and I'm not even kidding 👀
www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/astrologyses...
P.S. Sign up for my newsletter and you could win a FREE monthly reading 🎁✨
Don't say I didn't warn you 🔮
www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/astrologyses...
P.S. Sign up for my newsletter and you could win a FREE monthly reading 🎁✨
Don't say I didn't warn you 🔮
📺✨ YOUR HOLIDAY-THEMED 90s/Y2K SITCOM FAMILY ✨📺
In the multiverse, THIS is who you're spending the holidays with based on your sun sign 🎄
BOOK A READING: www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/astrologyses...
In the multiverse, THIS is who you're spending the holidays with based on your sun sign 🎄
BOOK A READING: www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/astrologyses...
December 25, 2025 at 10:55 PM
📺✨ YOUR HOLIDAY-THEMED 90s/Y2K SITCOM FAMILY ✨📺
In the multiverse, THIS is who you're spending the holidays with based on your sun sign 🎄
BOOK A READING: www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/astrologyses...
In the multiverse, THIS is who you're spending the holidays with based on your sun sign 🎄
BOOK A READING: www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/astrologyses...
Take a quick screenshot while watching the vid to find your 90s/Y2K defunct business message for Capricorn season!
Want a real AF reading for YOUR 2026? Use code 2026LIT for 26% off because the universe wants you to start this year with answers, not questions. www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
Want a real AF reading for YOUR 2026? Use code 2026LIT for 26% off because the universe wants you to start this year with answers, not questions. www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
December 24, 2025 at 6:23 PM
Take a quick screenshot while watching the vid to find your 90s/Y2K defunct business message for Capricorn season!
Want a real AF reading for YOUR 2026? Use code 2026LIT for 26% off because the universe wants you to start this year with answers, not questions. www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
Want a real AF reading for YOUR 2026? Use code 2026LIT for 26% off because the universe wants you to start this year with answers, not questions. www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/
In Harmonic Astrology, are you The Playful Child? The Wise Monk? The Showman? The Activist? The Punk Rocker? or The Iconic Weirdo?
Go to clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/ to find out🔮
Go to clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/ to find out🔮
December 23, 2025 at 11:30 PM
In Harmonic Astrology, are you The Playful Child? The Wise Monk? The Showman? The Activist? The Punk Rocker? or The Iconic Weirdo?
Go to clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/ to find out🔮
Go to clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/ to find out🔮
what's your RAVE NAME? 🎉
your sun sign + north node sign = your cosmic party persona
i'm fVcking DYING at some of these
drop yours in the comments ⬇️
btw my Lunar Nodes course "Unstoppable Living" is NOW LIVE
www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/the-lunar-no...
your sun sign + north node sign = your cosmic party persona
i'm fVcking DYING at some of these
drop yours in the comments ⬇️
btw my Lunar Nodes course "Unstoppable Living" is NOW LIVE
www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/the-lunar-no...
December 19, 2025 at 7:10 PM
what's your RAVE NAME? 🎉
your sun sign + north node sign = your cosmic party persona
i'm fVcking DYING at some of these
drop yours in the comments ⬇️
btw my Lunar Nodes course "Unstoppable Living" is NOW LIVE
www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/the-lunar-no...
your sun sign + north node sign = your cosmic party persona
i'm fVcking DYING at some of these
drop yours in the comments ⬇️
btw my Lunar Nodes course "Unstoppable Living" is NOW LIVE
www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/the-lunar-no...
I'm being so for real, THIS is how you stop forcing things and start flowing into what's actually meant for you...
The Lunar Nodes: Unstoppable Living shows you how to work WITH that cosmic pull instead of against it.
It's your time, bestie.
www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/the-lunar-no...
The Lunar Nodes: Unstoppable Living shows you how to work WITH that cosmic pull instead of against it.
It's your time, bestie.
www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/the-lunar-no...
December 19, 2025 at 3:49 AM
I'm being so for real, THIS is how you stop forcing things and start flowing into what's actually meant for you...
The Lunar Nodes: Unstoppable Living shows you how to work WITH that cosmic pull instead of against it.
It's your time, bestie.
www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/the-lunar-no...
The Lunar Nodes: Unstoppable Living shows you how to work WITH that cosmic pull instead of against it.
It's your time, bestie.
www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/the-lunar-no...
Holiday movies always hit different🎄
Swipe to find your sign & which holiday classic you're channeling...
Also can we talk about how PRANCER is the most Pisces movie ever made?? 🦌💕
Swipe to find your sign & which holiday classic you're channeling...
Also can we talk about how PRANCER is the most Pisces movie ever made?? 🦌💕
December 18, 2025 at 1:00 AM
Holiday movies always hit different🎄
Swipe to find your sign & which holiday classic you're channeling...
Also can we talk about how PRANCER is the most Pisces movie ever made?? 🦌💕
Swipe to find your sign & which holiday classic you're channeling...
Also can we talk about how PRANCER is the most Pisces movie ever made?? 🦌💕
Your Lunar Nodes literally hold the blueprint to your soul's purpose...
Like, this is THE thing that shows you what you're actually here to do 👀
If you're done guessing and ready to tap into your most unstoppable self, this one's for you 🔥
www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/the-lunar-no...
Like, this is THE thing that shows you what you're actually here to do 👀
If you're done guessing and ready to tap into your most unstoppable self, this one's for you 🔥
www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/the-lunar-no...
December 17, 2025 at 3:48 AM
Your Lunar Nodes literally hold the blueprint to your soul's purpose...
Like, this is THE thing that shows you what you're actually here to do 👀
If you're done guessing and ready to tap into your most unstoppable self, this one's for you 🔥
www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/the-lunar-no...
Like, this is THE thing that shows you what you're actually here to do 👀
If you're done guessing and ready to tap into your most unstoppable self, this one's for you 🔥
www.clarissadolphinexplainsitall.com/the-lunar-no...
what rave "treat" is your sign? 👽✨
iykyk - scroll through and find your cosmic destiny on the dancefloor. the stars know exactly what you need at 3am 🎶💫
which one's you when the bass drops?
iykyk - scroll through and find your cosmic destiny on the dancefloor. the stars know exactly what you need at 3am 🎶💫
which one's you when the bass drops?
December 14, 2025 at 8:41 PM
what rave "treat" is your sign? 👽✨
iykyk - scroll through and find your cosmic destiny on the dancefloor. the stars know exactly what you need at 3am 🎶💫
which one's you when the bass drops?
iykyk - scroll through and find your cosmic destiny on the dancefloor. the stars know exactly what you need at 3am 🎶💫
which one's you when the bass drops?
"Cloud" white as the color of 2026? How boring 😴 I chose a real af Pantone color for each sign that evokes your cosmic energy for 2026 but also calls back some of the iconic things from the 90s and Y2K 🎨 Also semi-inspired by hit R&B group Tony! Toni! Toné! cuz I couldn't help myself...;)
December 14, 2025 at 8:19 AM
"Cloud" white as the color of 2026? How boring 😴 I chose a real af Pantone color for each sign that evokes your cosmic energy for 2026 but also calls back some of the iconic things from the 90s and Y2K 🎨 Also semi-inspired by hit R&B group Tony! Toni! Toné! cuz I couldn't help myself...;)