I have trouble with wind and noise, in my trousers.

I tried to get my mate Arthur 2 Stroke’s band on Something Else, but they said no. They wanted a heavy metal band to fit with their stereotype of the North East. Years later Arthur 2 Stroke’s son got his dad on Jim’ll Fix It - by telling them he wanted to sing in a Mexican band. Strange but true.

It wasn’t all bad. Jimmy Savile had a way with kids, and Johnny Morris did good animal voices.

Producers knew exactly what they wanted (punks/motorbikes) and just found a bunch of ‘kids’ to front it. Said I could paint the end credits as a treat, then charged BBC for graphic design and kept the money. Put us up in one of their houses in London and charged BBC for a hotel. We was swizzed.

That was from the same programme. We had wigs on and broken sunglasses.

It was the BBC Community Programme Unit ‘Something Else’ 1981 (‘the programme made FOR young people BY young people’… except they already knew what they wanted, and told us what to do).

Sorry. A full stop would have exceeded the character limit.

No, it was just some interaction he’d had with someone, that reinforced the preconceptions of him that I’d had before I’d met him and been swayed to thinking he wasn’t a twat.

I thought Jim Bowen was a twat, then I met him and thought he wasn’t. Then I read something about him and thought he was again.

Skegness was painted (with real paint) by Simon Thorp 30 years earlier. I’m just returning to a favourite theme, railway posters, now that I can cheat and use Photoshop paint and brushes.

Could have promoted it as passengerless. Might have attracted a few bus drivers.