Chris Donald
@chrisvizdonald.bsky.social
Cartoonist, editor, former DHSS clerk
Dentists will tell you losing teeth makes chewing difficult. Well, I have several teeth missing, and today I ate a biscuit. It was most enjoyable, and I was disappointed when I appeared to have finished it. Then I fished about with my tongue and was delighted to find plenty more of it still to eat.
August 12, 2025 at 3:48 PM
Dentists will tell you losing teeth makes chewing difficult. Well, I have several teeth missing, and today I ate a biscuit. It was most enjoyable, and I was disappointed when I appeared to have finished it. Then I fished about with my tongue and was delighted to find plenty more of it still to eat.
In Asda a kind lady stepped back to allow me to reach a loaf of bread on a low shelf. As I bent down in front of her I farted, then stood up, shamefully dangling a wholemeal loaf in my hand.
Later it occurred to me I should have smiled, waved the loaf at her, and said “It’s bloody good stuff this!”
Later it occurred to me I should have smiled, waved the loaf at her, and said “It’s bloody good stuff this!”
farted.as
August 5, 2025 at 10:46 PM
In Asda a kind lady stepped back to allow me to reach a loaf of bread on a low shelf. As I bent down in front of her I farted, then stood up, shamefully dangling a wholemeal loaf in my hand.
Later it occurred to me I should have smiled, waved the loaf at her, and said “It’s bloody good stuff this!”
Later it occurred to me I should have smiled, waved the loaf at her, and said “It’s bloody good stuff this!”
If you have an elderly relative who is becoming forgetful and sometimes wanders off alone and goes missing, make them wear an ‘I support Palestine Action’ T shirt. That way the police will have no trouble finding them.
July 20, 2025 at 10:05 PM
If you have an elderly relative who is becoming forgetful and sometimes wanders off alone and goes missing, make them wear an ‘I support Palestine Action’ T shirt. That way the police will have no trouble finding them.
I know men don’t read books anymore, but have any women out there noticed the similarity between Donald Trump and Don Quixote? Illusions of grandeur, opposition to wind farms. Stupidity.
July 19, 2025 at 11:28 PM
I know men don’t read books anymore, but have any women out there noticed the similarity between Donald Trump and Don Quixote? Illusions of grandeur, opposition to wind farms. Stupidity.
I reckon aliens will save the Earth by invading it and simply switching off the electricity. No more shit daytime TV, no more internet, no more misspelling and misplaced apostrophes on social media. It’ll be sheer bliss (until the aliens suck our brains out, or whatever it is that they intend to do)
June 10, 2025 at 11:51 PM
I reckon aliens will save the Earth by invading it and simply switching off the electricity. No more shit daytime TV, no more internet, no more misspelling and misplaced apostrophes on social media. It’ll be sheer bliss (until the aliens suck our brains out, or whatever it is that they intend to do)
The problem with the England team is that we are only allowed to field English players, whilst the opposition are always allowed to pick foreigners.
June 10, 2025 at 11:26 PM
The problem with the England team is that we are only allowed to field English players, whilst the opposition are always allowed to pick foreigners.
Took Sandy for a walk today at Weetslade Colliery Country Park. Here he is pausing briefly between gatecrashing picnics.
May 31, 2025 at 10:50 PM
Took Sandy for a walk today at Weetslade Colliery Country Park. Here he is pausing briefly between gatecrashing picnics.
Me and my brother Simon got together with our old pal Jim Moir and his wife Nancy the other day, in a repurposed biscuit factory, to stand in a line and smile for this photograph. (I didn’t realise the camera had a wide angle lens.)
Credit: The Bigger Picture Agency
Credit: The Bigger Picture Agency
May 27, 2025 at 11:30 PM
Me and my brother Simon got together with our old pal Jim Moir and his wife Nancy the other day, in a repurposed biscuit factory, to stand in a line and smile for this photograph. (I didn’t realise the camera had a wide angle lens.)
Credit: The Bigger Picture Agency
Credit: The Bigger Picture Agency
Watched a ship roll in today,
Then watched another, larger one roll away
Then watched another, larger one roll away
May 6, 2025 at 12:19 AM
Watched a ship roll in today,
Then watched another, larger one roll away
Then watched another, larger one roll away
They say the police are getting younger every day. That’s bollocks. My cousin joined up when she was in her early twenties. After 25 years in the force she’s got grey hair, and suffers badly from arthritis.
January 15, 2025 at 1:10 AM
They say the police are getting younger every day. That’s bollocks. My cousin joined up when she was in her early twenties. After 25 years in the force she’s got grey hair, and suffers badly from arthritis.
Highlights of my Cornish Christmas were burning the £3 Blankety Blank board game we bought for entertainment, only to find it was a minimum of 3 players. And the magnificent, breathtaking architecture of Waitrose, Truro.
December 30, 2024 at 3:56 PM
Highlights of my Cornish Christmas were burning the £3 Blankety Blank board game we bought for entertainment, only to find it was a minimum of 3 players. And the magnificent, breathtaking architecture of Waitrose, Truro.
Pretty obvious really. First place to look for an enemy of corporate America would be McDonalds.
December 10, 2024 at 11:25 PM
Pretty obvious really. First place to look for an enemy of corporate America would be McDonalds.
Viz magazine was 45 today. Hats off for Rude Kid and Paul Whicker creator, the late Jim Brownlow. Wouldn’t have happened without Jim.
December 10, 2024 at 11:23 PM
Viz magazine was 45 today. Hats off for Rude Kid and Paul Whicker creator, the late Jim Brownlow. Wouldn’t have happened without Jim.
In the old days you could write to Heinz, tell them you’d found a set of false teeth in a tin of beans, and they’d send you a 144 free tins, just to keep it off That’s Life. Last week I emailed Cadburys and told them I’d found a chocolate cock in an advent calendar. They haven’t even replied.
December 5, 2024 at 12:55 AM
In the old days you could write to Heinz, tell them you’d found a set of false teeth in a tin of beans, and they’d send you a 144 free tins, just to keep it off That’s Life. Last week I emailed Cadburys and told them I’d found a chocolate cock in an advent calendar. They haven’t even replied.
Gregg Wallace’s lawyers should stop procrastinating and saying, flatly, that their client denies allegations of inappropriate behaviour. The obvious defence would be to say ‘Aah! Come on! They LOVE it, really!’
December 5, 2024 at 12:00 AM
Gregg Wallace’s lawyers should stop procrastinating and saying, flatly, that their client denies allegations of inappropriate behaviour. The obvious defence would be to say ‘Aah! Come on! They LOVE it, really!’
The BBC’s persistent problems with errant presenters is due to the majority of celebrities being arrogant egotists by nature, and BBC producers being fawning, star struck and stupid. If the BBC let the technicians, makeup artists or canteen staff choose the ‘talent’, they’d do a better job.
November 28, 2024 at 5:34 PM
The BBC’s persistent problems with errant presenters is due to the majority of celebrities being arrogant egotists by nature, and BBC producers being fawning, star struck and stupid. If the BBC let the technicians, makeup artists or canteen staff choose the ‘talent’, they’d do a better job.
Reposted by Chris Donald
Foreign firms taking billions of litres from UK aquifers to make bottled water, incl Highland Spring in Scotland 👇🏾💦
www.theguardian.com/environment/...
www.theguardian.com/environment/...
Foreign firms taking billions of litres from UK aquifers to make bottled water
Coca-Cola extracts largest amount of freshwater of any drinks company in England, FoI request finds
www.theguardian.com
November 25, 2024 at 11:34 AM
Foreign firms taking billions of litres from UK aquifers to make bottled water, incl Highland Spring in Scotland 👇🏾💦
www.theguardian.com/environment/...
www.theguardian.com/environment/...
The first ever laser was built in 1858 by Alexander Crawford, a Scottish baker, for carving thistles etc. onto shortbread. Whilst handing out free shortbread to blind children at an orphanage one Christmas, Crawford realised that his laser could perhaps be used for corrective eye surgery.
November 23, 2024 at 1:25 PM
The first ever laser was built in 1858 by Alexander Crawford, a Scottish baker, for carving thistles etc. onto shortbread. Whilst handing out free shortbread to blind children at an orphanage one Christmas, Crawford realised that his laser could perhaps be used for corrective eye surgery.
