Chelsea Gaither (they/them)
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christwriter.itch.io
Chelsea Gaither (they/them)
@christwriter.itch.io
170 followers 170 following 1.3K posts
Just another enby mom trying to survive. I write weird things. Go read them, Plz.
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christwriter.itch.io
Oh my god I forgot I made these things, back when I was trying to advertise on twitter and instagram.

AFAIK they never did anything, but they're pretty.

I'm gonna use them on the itch page.
A pink card with the words "Stepping out into the storm, Peter squared off like a baseball player at bat. "My daddy could hit the fucking wind. Come and get me, Tinkerbell." The pixie flared red. It came at Peter like a shooting star. With a powerful blow, he slammed the bat into the Faerie and knocked it backwards into his own computer monitor. Sparks flew. "Hurry, Stone," he said, and put the bat over his shoulder." There is a call to action that says, "Start the series today" "I've never had a romantic conversation like this before" I said, and meant it. It felt like I was walking into sunlight after a long dark tunnel. At the same time it made me anxious. Was this some kind of trick? Would it be wrong to trust somebody this...open? David said, "Sometimes it chases people off, but I'd rather be up front. My partners have a right to know what they're getting into. Part of a relationship is weathering the storms that show up, but secrets aren't storms. They're bombs. I'm not going to grovel and beg ot prove love exists. Either I'm enough...or I'm not." "Um...they're also sending somebody to the embassy in Austin to try to get...really? They're getting the Queen of the Faeries involved?" He said. And my eyes snapped to Maggie. Her eyes were screaming. "What's this Queen going to do?" (Max said) "Think happy thoughts at this thing until it melts?" Poor guy. He thought we were going to Titania for help.
March 11, 2025 at 9:51 AM
christwriter.itch.io
Uh...Temu? You MIGHT want to review the 3d printed junk you're advertising with, because unexpected human centipede was NOT on today's bingo card.
An image of four TEMU items, with a kitten on the upper right, a flailing godzilla-turtle thing beneath that, a pale white 3d printed dragon that is kind of cute, and a RGB 3d printed Human Centipede rip-off in the upper left. Holy hell.
March 10, 2025 at 9:51 AM
christwriter.itch.io
Without downloading any new pics, describe your gender
A WIP pic of tentacles and roses
March 8, 2025 at 12:34 PM
christwriter.itch.io
The innuendo is rising. (Note: I am fixing this before it goes live. But it's still pretty funny given the context.)
Text reading: "So they called you and you came?" she managed. "Baby, of course I came."
March 8, 2025 at 12:13 PM
christwriter.itch.io
I had to read this, so I'm making y'all suffer too.

Oh, and the solution? She had to hire a toilet attendant to make everyone wash their hands, like a teacher at a fucking preK.
Clip of a reddit headline reading "I'm a woman who owns a business that employees(sp) mainly men. How do I get them to wash their hands after they use the toilet?"
February 28, 2025 at 5:48 PM
christwriter.itch.io
Cinnamon babka as a birthday cake. Can't be beat.
An attempt at a cinnamon babka wreath.
February 27, 2025 at 5:36 PM
christwriter.itch.io
My baby.
A picture of white bread dough in a red bowl with saran wrap on top.
February 27, 2025 at 3:55 PM
christwriter.itch.io
Oh GOODY. We're starting up the Writer's File Naming Convention Games Again
Picture of a coffee mug that says: Writer Naming Convention: 1 Story Draft.docx 2. Story Draft2.docx 3. Story FINAL.docx 4. Story FINAL2.docx 5. Story FINAL FINAL.docx 6. Story SERIOUSLY THE FINAL FUCKING VERSION I PROMISE.docx 7. I hate my life.docx 8 I hate my life FINAL.docx
February 24, 2025 at 11:53 AM
christwriter.itch.io
I don't have an animal hoarding problem. I promise.
A screenshot of a cave full of tamed dinosaurs. So many tamed dinosaurs. Like, seriously too many.
February 16, 2025 at 8:17 PM
christwriter.itch.io
I have brainwashed this T-rex into loving me.
A screenshot of the game ARK with a T rex in the middle of it.
February 10, 2025 at 10:56 PM
christwriter.itch.io
I am suddenly blissfully happy that I managed to make a they/them pun that is really and truly terrible.

You have to know old B movies to get it.
Screenshot of text reading: “Hold up. Those are the winged ants, right? Alates? The ones who can reproduce?” Mulligan said, and shook his head when both Emile and Hawk nodded. “Fuck. I knew ants were bad—no offence, Doctors—but flying fuckers? We might as well be in that old movie. What was it?” “Them,” said Emile. They were smiling, though it didn’t touch their eyes much. Shot of the old movie "THEM" which involves giant ants trying to eat people.
February 8, 2025 at 4:37 PM
christwriter.itch.io
Help. I have a furry limpet.
February 8, 2025 at 1:52 PM
christwriter.itch.io
Mama Fishy has spawned
Tiny baby guppies in a guppy breeder box. They're cute, and look like sesame seeds with tails. The still pregnant mother fish. Guppies are live bearers and WILL eat their own, so she has to be in the box. She's transparent yellow.
February 4, 2025 at 12:19 PM
christwriter.itch.io
Book Three, A WAR OF SIGNS AND SIGNATS, is now submitted to Royal Road. Should be up either today or tomorrow.

I'm excited, anyway.
Image of a black woman with the title "A WAR OF SIN AND SIGNATS" beneath it. She is surrounded by purple and white flowers.
February 2, 2025 at 8:19 PM
christwriter.itch.io
Tentatively done with the cover for the next segment of Hawk's story, which is just as tentatively titled, A WAR OF SIN AND SIGNATS
Image of a Black woman surrounded by flowers, titled A WAR OF SIN AND SIGNATS
January 30, 2025 at 7:36 PM
christwriter.itch.io
I swear to God, Emile Yong (Character from STORM and GODS) is a mirror to my soul. They're like...how I'd be if I were brave enough.
A photo of text reading: They usually dressed in a combination of thrift store, anarchist, and dominatrix. Now they were trapped in khaki, and the riotous shades of their hair--purple and orange figured predominantly--seemed to have brightened in compensation.
January 30, 2025 at 5:13 PM
christwriter.itch.io
Sneak peak at The Next Book's cover art.
Image of a Black/Mixed race woman in robes, on a background of flowers.
January 30, 2025 at 4:58 PM
christwriter.itch.io
BIG gigantic spoiler for the book after GODS, but I thought it was funny and worth sharing.
A screenprint of text saying : “You said Kaiser stabbed me?” He said. “Yes,” Hawk said. “He was being arrested.” Musing silence. “I would have killed to watch that.” “You were killed, watching that.”
January 30, 2025 at 12:29 PM
christwriter.itch.io
This took WAY too effing long. But it's so pretty!

(It's the first evolution of the Wishful Aurosa. There are two more and it'll take seven weeks EACH to get enough materials for those evolutions. Seven. effing. weeks.) #infinitynikki
Screenshot of the game Infinity Nikki, showing a lavender dress A different angle of the previous lavender dress
January 28, 2025 at 6:21 PM
christwriter.itch.io
This is Auric. I don't really know what to do with them at this point, but I really like them. I've rewritten their opening pages often enough to be real familiar with their voice.

They're kind of a non-binary Mattias.
A photograph of text that reads: The new set of adventurers arrived precisely when Auric did not want them, which meant these were likely their newest clients. They heard the banging on the door from the upper chambers, a mailed fist against the carvings on the good wood Auric had rangled from one carpenter or another. They cared little for the carvings, as they were the traditional bat wings, bones and carved lumps that were theoretically ghosts. Auric had no idea, really, how one was supposed to carve a ghost, as those are insubstantial and made of ectoplasm and the last hopes and dreams of their dying bodies, and wood is substantial. It makes noise when you hit it. But tradition insisted on a necromancer having a door carved with ominous ghost-lumps, and so Auric had hired one of the better carvers in the world to at least give their foreboding lump-ghost faces. Hopefully fashions would change, and mailed fists would wear down the lumps, and they’d be able to have the door re-carved with something more sensible. That fist was about to take care of those bat-wings all on its own. Better send Bones down to take care of it. Auric crossed to a small, low table covered in various bones and wire. They, like most necromancers, preferred their skeletons articulated, and one only needed to foul up one set of bones to learn this is best done before any enchantments are laid down.
January 28, 2025 at 12:04 AM
christwriter.itch.io
This part of the next chapter is basically how I feel about all y'all.

The whole team is running for their life at this point.
A clip of text that says "You're cool, and I'm not interested in losing you."
January 26, 2025 at 2:42 PM
christwriter.itch.io
Aww, is lil' Rocket Baby sad because we aren't allowing him to bury his inhumanity behind his (reprehensible) sense of humor?

Don't make me quote TSL AGAIN, Rocket Baby.

IF HARM IS DONE, IT IS NOT A JOKE.
January 23, 2025 at 8:23 PM
christwriter.itch.io
Alright. I'm quoting the Screwtape Letters YET AGAIN, because his sense of humor (note: I do not believe he has one) fits the quote PERFECTLY.

IF HARM IS DONE, IT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY.
An excerpt from The Screwtape Letters. The relevant bit is this: Cruelty is shameful--unless the cruel man can represent it as a practical joke. A thousand bawdy, or even blasphemous, jokes do not help towards a man's damnation so much as his discovery that almost anything he wants to do can be done, not only without the disapproval but with the admiration of his fellows, if only it can get itself treated as a Joke.
January 23, 2025 at 6:48 PM
christwriter.itch.io
Did a quick #art that I may or may not finish later. IDK. I like it and so far it's working real well.
A sketch of a woman with clouds for hair. A more advanced sketch of a woman with clouds for hair. A much more polished version of the woman with clouds for hair.
January 23, 2025 at 12:05 AM
christwriter.itch.io
Describe myself in four characters:
Radagast the Brown Lucy Pevensie Mrs. Munchnik Susie Banyon
January 22, 2025 at 8:50 PM