Chris Newell
@chrisnewell.bsky.social
ND Writer. Best experienced in Courier.
Your 2028 Democratic nominee for President is
December 16, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Your 2028 Democratic nominee for President is
When she finally finds him
December 3, 2025 at 10:53 PM
When she finally finds him
This was the quality garment, in case you felt like being the opposite of surprised
November 16, 2025 at 5:16 PM
This was the quality garment, in case you felt like being the opposite of surprised
When you know you’re getting a quality garment
November 15, 2025 at 3:33 AM
When you know you’re getting a quality garment
Trying not to think about what could lie ahead for the Mariners. What do you even do?
October 18, 2025 at 3:00 AM
Trying not to think about what could lie ahead for the Mariners. What do you even do?
The red-eyed LOOK it gave me
October 17, 2025 at 4:32 AM
The red-eyed LOOK it gave me
Didn’t know these came in an Apartment Stairwell colorway.
October 17, 2025 at 4:31 AM
Didn’t know these came in an Apartment Stairwell colorway.
Brown Widows are aliens, confirmed
September 27, 2025 at 4:12 AM
Brown Widows are aliens, confirmed
Both coordinators frantically flipping through their playbooks for this exact scenario
September 5, 2025 at 3:04 AM
Both coordinators frantically flipping through their playbooks for this exact scenario
It is dangerously easy to grow silk floss trees
July 24, 2025 at 11:34 PM
It is dangerously easy to grow silk floss trees
Hey alumni magazine, let’s not.
July 6, 2025 at 12:27 AM
Hey alumni magazine, let’s not.
A mom writing her son’s dating profile
May 22, 2025 at 2:23 AM
A mom writing her son’s dating profile
Love this time of year. It’s a small patio but I’m making the most of it.
May 8, 2025 at 6:39 PM
Love this time of year. It’s a small patio but I’m making the most of it.
Spam texts getting so sophisticated they make me want to check my schedule and research good rivers
April 4, 2025 at 5:20 PM
Spam texts getting so sophisticated they make me want to check my schedule and research good rivers
Finally got a chunky Aran wool sweater, and I can confirm that yes, it did complete me as a person.
March 26, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Finally got a chunky Aran wool sweater, and I can confirm that yes, it did complete me as a person.
All time Goodwill app typo
March 24, 2025 at 12:49 AM
All time Goodwill app typo
Dad’s Play-Doh assignment this morning: a kangaroo joey wearing a tutu so she can go to ballet class.
November 23, 2024 at 4:11 PM
Dad’s Play-Doh assignment this morning: a kangaroo joey wearing a tutu so she can go to ballet class.
Despite being down 52-6, you’ve apparently still got a 3.3% chance, Jags. Don’t give up yet!
November 17, 2024 at 8:47 PM
Despite being down 52-6, you’ve apparently still got a 3.3% chance, Jags. Don’t give up yet!
Did you once spend an entire Christmas break building a K’NEX chair that could support over 300 pounds, or are you neurotypical?
November 4, 2023 at 11:39 PM
Did you once spend an entire Christmas break building a K’NEX chair that could support over 300 pounds, or are you neurotypical?
Have ID’d the horror: a particularly thicc Noble False Widow (Steatoda Nobilis). A recent CA import, likely from the UK. Blaming this on Brexit.
October 16, 2023 at 6:08 PM
Have ID’d the horror: a particularly thicc Noble False Widow (Steatoda Nobilis). A recent CA import, likely from the UK. Blaming this on Brexit.
Oh what’s that, something that looks like a skull on its back?? That’s fine and normal
October 16, 2023 at 4:15 AM
Oh what’s that, something that looks like a skull on its back?? That’s fine and normal
Losing my mind at this children’s book showing a parent and child caterpillar.
September 24, 2023 at 12:33 AM
Losing my mind at this children’s book showing a parent and child caterpillar.