i like zohran ! but aesthetically he’s a bad fit to be mayor of NYC. he’s too nice looking. i recommend that he give himself a facial scar, wear red contacts, and adopt Falcor, who has razor sharp talons, can fly at up to 100mph, and is also city comptroller

let your girlfriend punch you 6 times in the arm. if the bruise forms a heart, it means she loves you. if not, you have to be mad at her for a week and not tell her why

[at the dentist] before we do this, i wanna make sure ur not just using me
dentist: i just need to feel your gums to see if they’re inflamed, it’s really nothing serious
me: it’s serious to me
dentist: ok i’m just gonna go ahead and do it
me: ahe yoo sheeing osher patiensh