Pinned
ceej
@ceej.online
· Jul 26
I am never logging off
after a lifetime of constituents being furious at them for doing nothing the democrats have decided to do something the one time everybody begged them to do nothing
November 11, 2025 at 3:44 AM
after a lifetime of constituents being furious at them for doing nothing the democrats have decided to do something the one time everybody begged them to do nothing
Reposted by ceej
absolutely no question in my mind he's married to a chatbot
July 28, 2025 at 5:14 PM
absolutely no question in my mind he's married to a chatbot
demanding a famous folk singer write a moving ballad about the time I fell ass first into an ice fishing hole
November 11, 2025 at 2:08 AM
demanding a famous folk singer write a moving ballad about the time I fell ass first into an ice fishing hole
Reposted by ceej
Heh. I actually do "experience pleasure," just like any normal person. I have pleasurable experiences every day. I read books, of course, and watch movies. Even the odd television show. I consume food and experience the same pleasure as everybody else. I enjoy things. I am capable of enjoying things
November 10, 2025 at 9:47 PM
Heh. I actually do "experience pleasure," just like any normal person. I have pleasurable experiences every day. I read books, of course, and watch movies. Even the odd television show. I consume food and experience the same pleasure as everybody else. I enjoy things. I am capable of enjoying things
every single week they're throwing this guy a special oval office love-in that appears to be the presidential equivalent of letting your dog scarf an entire big mac and fries before that last trip to the vet
Pirro: "Mr President, there is in this room a group of people who love you, who believe in you, and who are so proud to be in this Oval Office and to be part of this amazing day because you have changed the course of America."
November 10, 2025 at 9:10 PM
every single week they're throwing this guy a special oval office love-in that appears to be the presidential equivalent of letting your dog scarf an entire big mac and fries before that last trip to the vet
Possibly because it's been enshrined in a famous folk song, many people don't realize how recent the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald actually is. To put it in context, the ship's sinking happens to coincide with Green Day's "Dookie," which was itself released fifty years ago today
November 10, 2025 at 7:39 PM
Possibly because it's been enshrined in a famous folk song, many people don't realize how recent the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald actually is. To put it in context, the ship's sinking happens to coincide with Green Day's "Dookie," which was itself released fifty years ago today
there is a thick oaken rod at work with which my enemies routinely beat me about the head and groin. this stick is more dear to me than my very own children
November 10, 2025 at 2:47 PM
there is a thick oaken rod at work with which my enemies routinely beat me about the head and groin. this stick is more dear to me than my very own children
oh damn, you’re telling me that I, some idiot who tells piss jokes online, could see this and every other capitulation coming from miles away? maybe it’s time to put a piss man in charge
November 10, 2025 at 2:44 AM
oh damn, you’re telling me that I, some idiot who tells piss jokes online, could see this and every other capitulation coming from miles away? maybe it’s time to put a piss man in charge
I have devoted my life to perfecting my performance of all response lines in Mark Morrison’s “Return of the Mack.” I’ve still got a ways to go
November 9, 2025 at 10:54 PM
I have devoted my life to perfecting my performance of all response lines in Mark Morrison’s “Return of the Mack.” I’ve still got a ways to go
1) A story about Democratic leadership planning to cave to Trump hits the wire
2) A flurry of politics knowers jump in to assure me it can’t possibly be true
3) Democratic leadership caves exactly as described
4) I’m assured that they’re playing procedural 4D chess that I’m too stupid to understand
2) A flurry of politics knowers jump in to assure me it can’t possibly be true
3) Democratic leadership caves exactly as described
4) I’m assured that they’re playing procedural 4D chess that I’m too stupid to understand
November 9, 2025 at 10:26 PM
1) A story about Democratic leadership planning to cave to Trump hits the wire
2) A flurry of politics knowers jump in to assure me it can’t possibly be true
3) Democratic leadership caves exactly as described
4) I’m assured that they’re playing procedural 4D chess that I’m too stupid to understand
2) A flurry of politics knowers jump in to assure me it can’t possibly be true
3) Democratic leadership caves exactly as described
4) I’m assured that they’re playing procedural 4D chess that I’m too stupid to understand
if schumer caves on the shutdown he is going to be torn apart by aunts
what’s really going to kill me are the people who cover for every instance of democrat inaction with claims that party leadership are playing procedural chess only for their big idea to be a new email titled “Say Gay, No Way!”
November 9, 2025 at 7:24 PM
if schumer caves on the shutdown he is going to be torn apart by aunts
my wife keeps forbidding me from helping around the house just because I threw out my back. nice try. I will not be dishonorably discharged for malingering
November 9, 2025 at 7:03 PM
my wife keeps forbidding me from helping around the house just because I threw out my back. nice try. I will not be dishonorably discharged for malingering
oh, the photo I shared that depicted my heart’s single greatest wish manifesting in reality was “AI?” it’s “made up?” you’re saying it’s “not real” and I should “be embarrassed” for “falling for it?” the picture that unburdened my soul is “slop?” then what am I supposed to do now? how will I live?
November 9, 2025 at 3:57 PM
oh, the photo I shared that depicted my heart’s single greatest wish manifesting in reality was “AI?” it’s “made up?” you’re saying it’s “not real” and I should “be embarrassed” for “falling for it?” the picture that unburdened my soul is “slop?” then what am I supposed to do now? how will I live?
no amount of state propaganda will ever convince me this man is my enemy
November 9, 2025 at 3:05 PM
no amount of state propaganda will ever convince me this man is my enemy
Scary stuff here: multiple members of our school board have been found mauled by a pack of juvenile wolves led by a “red alpha.” Truly grateful for my child’s elementary school teacher, who has even taken it upon herself to drive students home in her own bus. We’re pretty lucky to have Ms. Frizzle
November 9, 2025 at 2:55 PM
Scary stuff here: multiple members of our school board have been found mauled by a pack of juvenile wolves led by a “red alpha.” Truly grateful for my child’s elementary school teacher, who has even taken it upon herself to drive students home in her own bus. We’re pretty lucky to have Ms. Frizzle
check it out: one million year mortgage
November 9, 2025 at 4:58 AM
check it out: one million year mortgage
an important part of adulthood is coming to the realization that you can have shrimp cocktail literally any time you want
November 9, 2025 at 3:22 AM
an important part of adulthood is coming to the realization that you can have shrimp cocktail literally any time you want
my baby is feral. her sister calls her a “rascally rat.” she’s like 10th percentile in height and weight and 90th in head circumference. she never stops eating. she chipped two of her four teeth and that’s only enhancing her whole vibe. she knows three words: eat, more, again! I love her so much
November 9, 2025 at 12:57 AM
my baby is feral. her sister calls her a “rascally rat.” she’s like 10th percentile in height and weight and 90th in head circumference. she never stops eating. she chipped two of her four teeth and that’s only enhancing her whole vibe. she knows three words: eat, more, again! I love her so much
baby dunked her head in the birria
just turned the corner to find my one year old daughter holding an entire hotdog
November 9, 2025 at 12:19 AM
baby dunked her head in the birria
just turned the corner to find my one year old daughter holding an entire hotdog
November 8, 2025 at 11:28 PM
just turned the corner to find my one year old daughter holding an entire hotdog
in a completely predictable series of events today I upgraded to an executive costco membership and then immediately threw out my back
November 8, 2025 at 7:49 PM
in a completely predictable series of events today I upgraded to an executive costco membership and then immediately threw out my back
does it feel good to a spider to poop out the string
November 8, 2025 at 3:04 AM
does it feel good to a spider to poop out the string
ahh, the slime cup
Will Hardy losing his mind with the officials as Rudy scores after a battle with Nurkic for the rebound
November 8, 2025 at 2:53 AM
ahh, the slime cup