my roommate has a girlfriend now so she’s finally having a Tegan and Sara phase

Innie?? Outie??? More like ouchie am I right

who up simulating their flughafenfeuerwehr

thinking about my 4th grade classmate who successfully convinced our teacher and everyone in our class (except me) that Raven Symone was her half sister

going to Wendy’s y’all need anything ?

I just be making broth for the hell of it

I love the ongoing bit in What We Do in the Shadows where the vampires were supposed to “conquer the new world” forever ago but just… never get around to it. Even vampires, with all the time in the world, never rise to their full potential and I think that’s really relatable as a former #giftedkid

I miss when celebrities had their real teeth

are we talking about #severance on here
C’mon y’all I need to feel something

tried to draw Elmo for my nephew

millennials will be like yeah i have a favorite opera and it's just The Black Parade (2006) by my chemical romance

I have spent exactly 5 minutes at home and my mom has already

-asked if she could pluck one of my chin hairs (I didn’t have any)
-reminded me how important it is to have health insurance (I do have health insurance)

what up bitches it’s me, ya boi