Yeah, I don't see a way out of it. Can't see where our points are coming from.

"Is the bacon folded in half before cooking so that it's simultaneously over- and under-cooked?"

"Yes, yes."

"Tomato cooked properly?"

"The kitchen is already hot, why would the tomato need more cooking than that? Plus I've sprinkled some floor sweepings on it for seasoning."

"Perfect."

Everyone else can just put shoes on their knees.

Always fancied Riz Ahmed as Bond. Good actor. Handsome. Looks good in a suit.

"No hard feelings, eh, you dead dick."

I've always regarded Event Horizon as a Christmas movie ever since they put in on late one Christmas Eve in about 2005.

Don't worry though, we're going to try to sign a striker in January.

It's a frustrating one. We'd done so well to get to a point where we looked the most likely to win. And then we fuck it up. And Villa played as if they were confident that we would eventually let them score.

That's better

Surely there's some 70s TV you could reminisce about??

What's so unappealing about thinking about elderly British politicians having sex?

....did I write this..?

I was going to say that I'd expect Donny to be a comic sans fan - I use it at school because it's easier for my little'uns to read. Then I tried to imagine him reading anything and realised why it wouldn't matter to him what it looked like.

"You don't get to come to our house and dictate what's acceptable... although actually... sorry, turns out you do get to do that."

*scribbles frantically in notebook*

"Idea for the next Bond: two Ms?? Bond has to uncover the imposter?? One of them a voluptuous young woman, maybe..?"

"Ian Fleming?? No, no, my dear chap. Goodness me, no, he's dead, don't you know. I'm...err...*Zian* Flemming. Spelled with two Ms so it's really not even the same name at all, you see, I'm not Ian Fleming."