Carl Wilhoyte
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carlwilhoyte.bsky.social
Carl Wilhoyte
@carlwilhoyte.bsky.social
710 followers 1.7K following 7K posts
Writer, Marxist shitpost sommelier, Midwest mutant. America's #1 AI Hater. (He/him guy dude)

Author of "Ultimart" available NOW!

Get it here: https://carlwilhoyte.com/
Posts Replies Media Videos
carlwilhoyte.bsky.social
Paul when everyone thinks he was an Apostle:
Image of rapper Drake sitting with blue suited men. Who invited my man blud Bro thinks he's on the team
November 20, 2025 at 6:56 PM
carlwilhoyte.bsky.social
Kermit looking sadly out of a rainy window
November 20, 2025 at 3:46 PM
carlwilhoyte.bsky.social
‘Things are pretty crappy.’ 1 in 4 US households are living paycheck to paycheck
November 18, 2025 at 5:16 PM
carlwilhoyte.bsky.social
You ever feel the grim reality of The Now?
Donald Trump in front of blue McDonald's wall titled The Golden Age
November 18, 2025 at 4:32 PM
carlwilhoyte.bsky.social
We didn't get the Star Trek future, but we did get the Star Trek present.

Yipee.
Sisko: By the early 2020s, there was a place like this in every major city in the United States
November 18, 2025 at 3:49 PM
carlwilhoyte.bsky.social
Greeting each new morning with same type of grim but affable determination as this guy
Ralph Fiennes in 28 Years Later. A bronze-colored man stands in a forest of bones.
November 18, 2025 at 2:02 PM
carlwilhoyte.bsky.social
The urge to get up and do anything else but you have 2 adorable sleepy cats on you
Sleepy cats on grey blanket
November 18, 2025 at 4:05 AM
carlwilhoyte.bsky.social
Gordon Freeman, 7 Black Mesas in the bag:
Half Life 2 car floating in the air
November 17, 2025 at 10:34 PM
carlwilhoyte.bsky.social
Emoji depicting Karl Marx thinking
November 11, 2025 at 3:11 PM
carlwilhoyte.bsky.social
Schumer for Unemployed
November 10, 2025 at 3:47 AM
carlwilhoyte.bsky.social
From the Simpsons: Lenin punching through glass coffin
November 5, 2025 at 6:58 PM
carlwilhoyte.bsky.social
November 5, 2025 at 3:32 PM
carlwilhoyte.bsky.social
Dedra Meero from Andor looking out a window Dedra: We're treating what happened in NYC like an election. Heert: What would you call it? Dedra: An announcement.
November 5, 2025 at 4:18 AM
carlwilhoyte.bsky.social
NYC Mayor Elect Zohran Mamdani
November 5, 2025 at 3:33 AM
carlwilhoyte.bsky.social
The wet sock after you stepped on the errant melted ice cube in the kitchen has endorsed Andrew Cuomo.
Feet on wooden floor with wet puddle
November 4, 2025 at 8:11 PM
carlwilhoyte.bsky.social
Watching this election from Cleveland:
Pedro Pascal holding a phone, along with the caption "you're doing amazing, sweetie"
November 4, 2025 at 5:05 PM
carlwilhoyte.bsky.social
Congrats you wrote the article version of this:
Patrick Cosmos @veryimportant.lawyer Working on a new unified theory of American reality I'm calling "everyone is twelve now". "I'm strong and I want to have like 50 kids and a farm" of course you do. You're twelve. "I don't want to eat vegetables I think steak and frenchfries is the only meal" hell yeah homie you're twelve. "Maybe if there's crime we should just send in the army" bless your heart my twelve year old buddy.
November 4, 2025 at 2:48 PM
carlwilhoyte.bsky.social
New 4K release of #ShinGodzilla in my dirty little hands for #GodzillaDay, hell yeah.

The real monster is bureacratic incompetence in the face of an escalating natural disaster, now a perfect post-COVID parable.
Hand holding Blu Ray copy of Shin Godzilla
November 3, 2025 at 6:41 PM
carlwilhoyte.bsky.social
"I have nipples, Zohran. Could you milk me?"
Andrew Cuomo with obviously pierced nipples
November 3, 2025 at 2:39 PM
carlwilhoyte.bsky.social
Guy with the packet drawer during the apocalypse
Thanos in Avengers Endgame "You could not live with your own failure. Where did that bring you? Back to me."
October 31, 2025 at 2:24 PM
carlwilhoyte.bsky.social
That one hair under the Band-Aid
Superman pulling a ship by the anchor chain
October 28, 2025 at 3:10 PM
carlwilhoyte.bsky.social
Ralph Wiggum in his family kitchen taking to his parents. "Mrs Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me."
October 28, 2025 at 2:56 PM
carlwilhoyte.bsky.social
Out at the Sandusky Book Bar for their Spooky Book Fair.

Stop on by!
Author Carl Wilhoyte in front of an author table
October 25, 2025 at 5:14 PM
carlwilhoyte.bsky.social
Man holding neon sign that says poo poo pee pee
October 24, 2025 at 5:43 PM
carlwilhoyte.bsky.social
Hey everyone, I'll be at the Spooky Book Fair tomorrow at the Sandusky Book Bar!

📍 Sandusky Book Bar, Sandusky OH
📅 Saturday 10/25
⏰ 1 - 4 PM EST

#booksky #author #books #writing #halloween #bookfestival
October 25, from 1-4 PM, at Sandusky Book Bar Spooky Book Fair Featuring five authors: A.M. Wright, Balsom, Carl Wilhoyte, Chase Will, Joseph Lewis And artwork from Shellie's Chaotic Creations
October 24, 2025 at 2:18 PM