Carlos Valencia
@carlosvalencia.bsky.social
The blueskiest comic in the world. A chihuahua with a skin disease. Totally blind.
Comedians feed:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:e7mkpu7gur4k7nocmh2dqroo/lists/3kh67uqh7fw2y
Comedians feed:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:e7mkpu7gur4k7nocmh2dqroo/lists/3kh67uqh7fw2y
So long, Dick Cheney…
November 5, 2025 at 1:46 AM
So long, Dick Cheney…
Congratulations to Donald Trump for finally completing all of Al-Qaeda's 9/11 goals. Osama would be proud.
October 21, 2025 at 7:43 PM
Congratulations to Donald Trump for finally completing all of Al-Qaeda's 9/11 goals. Osama would be proud.
Apparently the Nobel Prize committee didn't hear about Donald Trump's groundbreaking Tylenol research.
October 6, 2025 at 10:58 PM
Apparently the Nobel Prize committee didn't hear about Donald Trump's groundbreaking Tylenol research.
They're just like us.
October 2, 2025 at 10:27 PM
They're just like us.
For everyone that keeps asking me who my favorite trampolinist is- it is, was, and always will be this guy. #TeamDongDong
September 14, 2025 at 7:44 PM
For everyone that keeps asking me who my favorite trampolinist is- it is, was, and always will be this guy. #TeamDongDong
Want to piss off a right-winger while exposing just how ignorant they are?
Just repeat their hero’s own words.
Just repeat their hero’s own words.
September 12, 2025 at 11:45 PM
Want to piss off a right-winger while exposing just how ignorant they are?
Just repeat their hero’s own words.
Just repeat their hero’s own words.
Track 1 (Hitler Time Machine) from my (Carlos Valencia) first album (It Gets Worse).
Full album on YouTube youtu.be/pf71UN6eOVo?...
#Standup #standupcomedy #comedy
Full album on YouTube youtu.be/pf71UN6eOVo?...
#Standup #standupcomedy #comedy
August 20, 2025 at 7:27 PM
Track 1 (Hitler Time Machine) from my (Carlos Valencia) first album (It Gets Worse).
Full album on YouTube youtu.be/pf71UN6eOVo?...
#Standup #standupcomedy #comedy
Full album on YouTube youtu.be/pf71UN6eOVo?...
#Standup #standupcomedy #comedy
Nancy Grace is the worst person in the world.
Track 10 from Carlos Valencia’s 2015 standup comedy album “It Gets Worse”.
#Standup #comedy #standupcomedy #NancyGrace
Track 10 from Carlos Valencia’s 2015 standup comedy album “It Gets Worse”.
#Standup #comedy #standupcomedy #NancyGrace
August 19, 2025 at 8:55 PM
Nancy Grace is the worst person in the world.
Track 10 from Carlos Valencia’s 2015 standup comedy album “It Gets Worse”.
#Standup #comedy #standupcomedy #NancyGrace
Track 10 from Carlos Valencia’s 2015 standup comedy album “It Gets Worse”.
#Standup #comedy #standupcomedy #NancyGrace
August 13, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Since Mario Paint is trending here’s a picture of my Mario Paint mouse pad I still own to this day.
July 29, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Since Mario Paint is trending here’s a picture of my Mario Paint mouse pad I still own to this day.
This is just the latest version of dummies duping themselves through technology. It's the AI equivalent of people who "Do their own research" by searching for YouTube videos that confirm their bias.
At least this guy only hurt himself, Trumpedos are bringing down the whole country with their idiocy
At least this guy only hurt himself, Trumpedos are bringing down the whole country with their idiocy
July 21, 2025 at 6:33 PM
This is just the latest version of dummies duping themselves through technology. It's the AI equivalent of people who "Do their own research" by searching for YouTube videos that confirm their bias.
At least this guy only hurt himself, Trumpedos are bringing down the whole country with their idiocy
At least this guy only hurt himself, Trumpedos are bringing down the whole country with their idiocy
People don't give Kelly Clarkson enough credit for being our generation's Friedrich Nietzsche.
Except for Serena Williams, of course.
Except for Serena Williams, of course.
June 29, 2025 at 6:02 PM
People don't give Kelly Clarkson enough credit for being our generation's Friedrich Nietzsche.
Except for Serena Williams, of course.
Except for Serena Williams, of course.
Don’t even act like I didn’t get these doughnuts.
June 29, 2025 at 2:31 AM
Don’t even act like I didn’t get these doughnuts.
This picture is the reason I am a Mets fan. I'm still paying the price for my youthful mistakes.
May 18, 2025 at 6:53 PM
This picture is the reason I am a Mets fan. I'm still paying the price for my youthful mistakes.
Happy Mother's Day to my mother and grandmother.
I’ll never be able to repay all your love and support. You're inspirations every day of my life.
I’ll never be able to repay all your love and support. You're inspirations every day of my life.
May 11, 2025 at 8:59 PM
Happy Mother's Day to my mother and grandmother.
I’ll never be able to repay all your love and support. You're inspirations every day of my life.
I’ll never be able to repay all your love and support. You're inspirations every day of my life.
Look at all these vaccines my parents made me get when I was a kid. It’s a miracle I’m still alive. And by “miracle” I mean “proven medical science”.
May 4, 2025 at 6:49 PM
Look at all these vaccines my parents made me get when I was a kid. It’s a miracle I’m still alive. And by “miracle” I mean “proven medical science”.
Somebody please forward Trump this photoshop I made 10 years ago. I would love to hear him rant about why this baby needs to be deported.
April 30, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Somebody please forward Trump this photoshop I made 10 years ago. I would love to hear him rant about why this baby needs to be deported.
"He's just putting Germany first, y'all!"
April 9, 2025 at 12:21 AM
"He's just putting Germany first, y'all!"
First Rule is: The laws of Germany
Second Rule is: Be nice to Bondi
Welcome to the Gestapo States of America.
Second Rule is: Be nice to Bondi
Welcome to the Gestapo States of America.
April 6, 2025 at 2:26 AM
First Rule is: The laws of Germany
Second Rule is: Be nice to Bondi
Welcome to the Gestapo States of America.
Second Rule is: Be nice to Bondi
Welcome to the Gestapo States of America.
Today in Carlos’ Blockbuster Discount Deals of the Day! #FigNewtons
March 23, 2025 at 11:04 PM
Today in Carlos’ Blockbuster Discount Deals of the Day! #FigNewtons
Celebrating St. Patrick’s Day like a true Irish man - with a bowl full of authentic Irish cuisine.
March 17, 2025 at 5:44 PM
Celebrating St. Patrick’s Day like a true Irish man - with a bowl full of authentic Irish cuisine.
Some of my all time favorite pictures I’ve taken have been in the bathroom at Paddy's Irish Pub in Fayetteville, NC. Here’s two of them. The rest would get me arrested.
March 11, 2025 at 10:57 PM
Some of my all time favorite pictures I’ve taken have been in the bathroom at Paddy's Irish Pub in Fayetteville, NC. Here’s two of them. The rest would get me arrested.
Did you guys know they sell wine in bottles that you can use to refill your wine box?
What will they come up with next?
What will they come up with next?
March 10, 2025 at 1:59 AM
Did you guys know they sell wine in bottles that you can use to refill your wine box?
What will they come up with next?
What will they come up with next?
Yes, thank you Facebook's algorithm for sharing this post with me. This is exactly the kind of insightful content I want appearing on my timeline. You giant piece of garbage.
February 14, 2025 at 3:14 AM
Yes, thank you Facebook's algorithm for sharing this post with me. This is exactly the kind of insightful content I want appearing on my timeline. You giant piece of garbage.