Carissa Jean
@carissa-jean.bsky.social
Artist, writer, zine maker, tired
How I imagine Sarah Jessica Parker helped judge the Booker Prize
November 10, 2025 at 11:52 PM
How I imagine Sarah Jessica Parker helped judge the Booker Prize
I wonder if my ex (37) is explaining who Lily Allen is to his gf (26) or if she has to explain to him who David Harbour is
October 30, 2025 at 8:24 PM
I wonder if my ex (37) is explaining who Lily Allen is to his gf (26) or if she has to explain to him who David Harbour is
Silly idea inspired by reading Anne Carson: GRAMMATA knuckle tattoos
October 30, 2025 at 5:08 AM
Silly idea inspired by reading Anne Carson: GRAMMATA knuckle tattoos
Forgot I had a speech due, skimmed the chapter on Augusto Pinochet during my 30 min lunch, gave the presentation, got 100% (and have never forgotten that man’s crimes and how the US is responsible for them)
I wrote a 15 page report on heraldic symbolism in medieval armor and weapon design for my art history class the night before it was due (8am class). Made up 90% of it (only found one book for reference) and got an A. GenAI could fucking never.
October 9, 2025 at 7:02 AM
Forgot I had a speech due, skimmed the chapter on Augusto Pinochet during my 30 min lunch, gave the presentation, got 100% (and have never forgotten that man’s crimes and how the US is responsible for them)
Cool cool cool. Quick question: where is all the money going, exactly?
www.npr.org/2025/09/26/g...
www.npr.org/2025/09/26/g...
Trump's TikTok deal payment criticized as 'shakedown scheme' by experts
The U.S. government will collect a multibillion-dollar fee from the American investors who will take over TikTok. Some experts call the fee and other deals like it "extortion."
www.npr.org
September 26, 2025 at 7:27 PM
Cool cool cool. Quick question: where is all the money going, exactly?
www.npr.org/2025/09/26/g...
www.npr.org/2025/09/26/g...
Dispatches from a dispossessed screenwriter: Two tech bros who have been discussing AI tools for hours are now talking about how Alien Earth is hard to follow.
September 12, 2025 at 1:54 AM
Dispatches from a dispossessed screenwriter: Two tech bros who have been discussing AI tools for hours are now talking about how Alien Earth is hard to follow.
Whenever I see people throwing a fit about fall coming and wanting to hold onto summer, I am simply assuming you’re living in one of the five states this year that didn’t suffer multiple heatwaves without the infrastructure of central air in most buildings.
September 10, 2025 at 1:34 AM
Whenever I see people throwing a fit about fall coming and wanting to hold onto summer, I am simply assuming you’re living in one of the five states this year that didn’t suffer multiple heatwaves without the infrastructure of central air in most buildings.
Call me crazy, but I think the 14th Amendment was to make sure a president couldn’t just wage war on his own country
September 7, 2025 at 5:29 AM
Call me crazy, but I think the 14th Amendment was to make sure a president couldn’t just wage war on his own country
The universe has been pretty unchill about reminding me that I’m 37 and haven’t had a baby yet. So, I dunno, Joe, I might not be a birthing person. But I for sure am a dumb hairy cunt (they just won’t let me use that as my pronouns in bio).
September 5, 2025 at 1:36 AM
The universe has been pretty unchill about reminding me that I’m 37 and haven’t had a baby yet. So, I dunno, Joe, I might not be a birthing person. But I for sure am a dumb hairy cunt (they just won’t let me use that as my pronouns in bio).
Shout out to my home state of NH, continuing to enforce living free or dying (as a threat)
www.npr.org/2025/08/31/n...
www.npr.org/2025/08/31/n...
Rudy Giuliani hospitalized with broken vertebra after car accident, spokesperson says
Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani has been hospitalized with a broken vertebra after a car accident in New Hampshire, according to his spokesperson.
www.npr.org
August 31, 2025 at 11:53 PM
Shout out to my home state of NH, continuing to enforce living free or dying (as a threat)
www.npr.org/2025/08/31/n...
www.npr.org/2025/08/31/n...
Nothing more unnerving than popping over here and seeing there’s also plenty of people ready to lick Gavin Newsom’s shiny all caps little boots
August 14, 2025 at 4:59 AM
Nothing more unnerving than popping over here and seeing there’s also plenty of people ready to lick Gavin Newsom’s shiny all caps little boots
First of all - where exactly is this money going?!
Second of all - I know the horrors are extreme, but the “super duper” really got me here
Second of all - I know the horrors are extreme, but the “super duper” really got me here
August 11, 2025 at 7:11 PM
First of all - where exactly is this money going?!
Second of all - I know the horrors are extreme, but the “super duper” really got me here
Second of all - I know the horrors are extreme, but the “super duper” really got me here
My favorite part of doing research into treatments for PMDD is that some of the most promising treatments (sepranolone) for stabilizing moods during hormonal fluxes are no longer being produced due to lack of funding. Which I’ve decided means I’m allowed to be insane.
August 7, 2025 at 11:45 PM
My favorite part of doing research into treatments for PMDD is that some of the most promising treatments (sepranolone) for stabilizing moods during hormonal fluxes are no longer being produced due to lack of funding. Which I’ve decided means I’m allowed to be insane.
I know exactly what Flannery O’Connor’s intent was with writing “Wise Blood,” but I am still jealous I’ll never come up with something as metal as the Church Without Christ.
August 7, 2025 at 1:18 AM
I know exactly what Flannery O’Connor’s intent was with writing “Wise Blood,” but I am still jealous I’ll never come up with something as metal as the Church Without Christ.
Between SORRY, BABY and “Trauma Plot,” I am beginning to get the sense academia might be on the cusp of reckoning with ~something~
July 31, 2025 at 3:36 AM
Between SORRY, BABY and “Trauma Plot,” I am beginning to get the sense academia might be on the cusp of reckoning with ~something~
I should have listened to the text of my foremothers (THE FIRST WIVES CLUB) to better prepare me for reality (ex partner dating a 26 year old)
July 28, 2025 at 8:49 PM
I should have listened to the text of my foremothers (THE FIRST WIVES CLUB) to better prepare me for reality (ex partner dating a 26 year old)
I don’t know what foreign government needs to hear this, but our military is run by idiots, our economy is about to be in shambles, and the people yearn for a regime change…
July 26, 2025 at 11:38 PM
I don’t know what foreign government needs to hear this, but our military is run by idiots, our economy is about to be in shambles, and the people yearn for a regime change…
There’s no way the term “corn sweat” had existed before this year, right?
July 25, 2025 at 11:58 PM
There’s no way the term “corn sweat” had existed before this year, right?
As a person who would throw her father under the bus for many reasons, I applaud how hard Hunter Biden went for his dad on @channel5bluesky.bsky.social
July 24, 2025 at 4:20 AM
As a person who would throw her father under the bus for many reasons, I applaud how hard Hunter Biden went for his dad on @channel5bluesky.bsky.social
I think that moving back to Portland was a good next step to launching my career other places. Mainly because so many of the programs and organizations associated with the film industry here are so deviously unprofessional it’s shaken the imposter syndrome right out of me.
July 23, 2025 at 4:10 PM
I think that moving back to Portland was a good next step to launching my career other places. Mainly because so many of the programs and organizations associated with the film industry here are so deviously unprofessional it’s shaken the imposter syndrome right out of me.
Fuel for my haters: I think I liked Eddington?
July 20, 2025 at 11:07 PM
Fuel for my haters: I think I liked Eddington?
I would like to speak to the manager of this current heat wave
July 16, 2025 at 10:33 PM
I would like to speak to the manager of this current heat wave
Truth or dare but it’s really just me asking every man in my life who says “Blood Meridian” is their favorite book if they ACTUALLY read it, understood it, and enjoyed the prose
July 15, 2025 at 4:20 AM
Truth or dare but it’s really just me asking every man in my life who says “Blood Meridian” is their favorite book if they ACTUALLY read it, understood it, and enjoyed the prose
At my silly freelance gig today I snagged an article on the whole Angela and Ken Paxton situation, and the editor removed the final sentence that stated there’s no evidence of Angela doing anything wrong and she’s legally allowed to divorce him. So that’s super cool. Glad my name is on that one 🫠
July 12, 2025 at 12:39 AM
At my silly freelance gig today I snagged an article on the whole Angela and Ken Paxton situation, and the editor removed the final sentence that stated there’s no evidence of Angela doing anything wrong and she’s legally allowed to divorce him. So that’s super cool. Glad my name is on that one 🫠
Sending these to my friends isn’t enough, I wish I could let Shirley Jackson know personally every time one of her sentences absolutely slapped me across the face.
July 12, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Sending these to my friends isn’t enough, I wish I could let Shirley Jackson know personally every time one of her sentences absolutely slapped me across the face.