Carbonated Man
@carbonated-man.bsky.social
Awkward, Autistic, Kinda Weird, No social skills.
Leftist, but politics isn't my whole personality.
I like humor, music, art, and sci-fi.
Guaranteed cringe or your bubbles back!
Leftist, but politics isn't my whole personality.
I like humor, music, art, and sci-fi.
Guaranteed cringe or your bubbles back!
Pinned
This space reserved for some bops
Hooome! Finally! On like 3 different pain killers amd some antibiotic rn. Woke up in the middle of tge night last moght with the left side of my face all blown up likr someone shived a softball inside of my cheek. (1)
February 12, 2025 at 2:05 AM
Hooome! Finally! On like 3 different pain killers amd some antibiotic rn. Woke up in the middle of tge night last moght with the left side of my face all blown up likr someone shived a softball inside of my cheek. (1)
Things you say when you're stoned...
"Hey bro... what're you doing?"
"Nothing man. Just... trying to catch my breath... Without breathing."
"Hey bro... what're you doing?"
"Nothing man. Just... trying to catch my breath... Without breathing."
February 9, 2025 at 1:28 AM
Things you say when you're stoned...
"Hey bro... what're you doing?"
"Nothing man. Just... trying to catch my breath... Without breathing."
"Hey bro... what're you doing?"
"Nothing man. Just... trying to catch my breath... Without breathing."
Okay so lemme see if I've got this straight? We got AD and 1 first rounder going to the Mavs in exchange for Luka going to the Lakers a few days ago. And now a 5 team trade just went through to get Jimmy Butler on the Warriors?
WTF is going on with the trades this year? This shit is crazy!
WTF is going on with the trades this year? This shit is crazy!
February 6, 2025 at 2:41 AM
Okay so lemme see if I've got this straight? We got AD and 1 first rounder going to the Mavs in exchange for Luka going to the Lakers a few days ago. And now a 5 team trade just went through to get Jimmy Butler on the Warriors?
WTF is going on with the trades this year? This shit is crazy!
WTF is going on with the trades this year? This shit is crazy!
Was joking around and BSing with my lil bro and a mutual friend. Bro says "Let me weigh in on this real quick." My reaction: "Weigh in? MFer noone cares about your half a pound. Oh, I'm sorry wouldn't want to make you seem fat, I meant half an ounce."
February 5, 2025 at 11:33 PM
Was joking around and BSing with my lil bro and a mutual friend. Bro says "Let me weigh in on this real quick." My reaction: "Weigh in? MFer noone cares about your half a pound. Oh, I'm sorry wouldn't want to make you seem fat, I meant half an ounce."
Reposted by Carbonated Man
I just laughed so hard I woke the cat.
(But it also true. Someone please help.)
(But it also true. Someone please help.)
February 5, 2025 at 3:02 AM
I just laughed so hard I woke the cat.
(But it also true. Someone please help.)
(But it also true. Someone please help.)
When I was in highschool my mother warned me that spending too much time on the internet would be bad for my mental health. Ever since then I've been telling myself that she was wrong.
But the past two weeks have me wondering if I should start calling her Nostramomus.
But the past two weeks have me wondering if I should start calling her Nostramomus.
February 3, 2025 at 10:55 PM
When I was in highschool my mother warned me that spending too much time on the internet would be bad for my mental health. Ever since then I've been telling myself that she was wrong.
But the past two weeks have me wondering if I should start calling her Nostramomus.
But the past two weeks have me wondering if I should start calling her Nostramomus.
Me: walks in kitchen to get a cuppa. Pot is empty. Looks at rack with different coffee flavors. Grabs one, sets up new pot. Walks out of kitchen.
5 seconds later: What flavor did I make?!?!?!?
5 seconds later: What flavor did I make?!?!?!?
February 3, 2025 at 7:08 PM
Me: walks in kitchen to get a cuppa. Pot is empty. Looks at rack with different coffee flavors. Grabs one, sets up new pot. Walks out of kitchen.
5 seconds later: What flavor did I make?!?!?!?
5 seconds later: What flavor did I make?!?!?!?
Reposted by Carbonated Man
I understand not being able to get a driver's license w/ my epilepsy is for for everybody's safety, and I'd hate myself if I had a seizure behind the wheel and accidentally deleted a few folks. But did lawmakers ever consider forcing me to be a pedestrian means I get soaked everytime it rains? Huh?
a man in a suit and tie is standing in the rain and crying .
Alt: a man in a suit and tie is standing in the rain and crying .
media.tenor.com
January 31, 2025 at 6:51 PM
I understand not being able to get a driver's license w/ my epilepsy is for for everybody's safety, and I'd hate myself if I had a seizure behind the wheel and accidentally deleted a few folks. But did lawmakers ever consider forcing me to be a pedestrian means I get soaked everytime it rains? Huh?
20 books that influenced you. No explanations, no reviews, just covers.
11:
11:
January 31, 2025 at 1:55 AM
20 books that influenced you. No explanations, no reviews, just covers.
11:
11:
Current Job hunt status:
I just walked past a mouse in my kitchen holding up a sign that said "Will squeak for crumbs." and sat down next to him with my own sign that said "Me Too".
I just walked past a mouse in my kitchen holding up a sign that said "Will squeak for crumbs." and sat down next to him with my own sign that said "Me Too".
January 30, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Current Job hunt status:
I just walked past a mouse in my kitchen holding up a sign that said "Will squeak for crumbs." and sat down next to him with my own sign that said "Me Too".
I just walked past a mouse in my kitchen holding up a sign that said "Will squeak for crumbs." and sat down next to him with my own sign that said "Me Too".
Reposted by Carbonated Man
I just stole this. ❤️
January 29, 2025 at 6:10 PM
I just stole this. ❤️
Reposted by Carbonated Man
don't worry, sooner or later tyrants will tire themselves out. no wait, i'm thinking of toddlers. no wait...
January 29, 2025 at 6:23 PM
don't worry, sooner or later tyrants will tire themselves out. no wait, i'm thinking of toddlers. no wait...
Actually got some plans for Valentine's day this year! 🤯
Shrink's office just called to confirm my appointment for 1:30 pm 🤪
Shrink's office just called to confirm my appointment for 1:30 pm 🤪
January 29, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Actually got some plans for Valentine's day this year! 🤯
Shrink's office just called to confirm my appointment for 1:30 pm 🤪
Shrink's office just called to confirm my appointment for 1:30 pm 🤪
Reposted by Carbonated Man
i love listening to the same song on repeat for hours on end cause that's normal
January 29, 2025 at 5:14 AM
i love listening to the same song on repeat for hours on end cause that's normal
Trying to get to sleep and my brain won't shut up. It's just running wild with stupid stuff like "Maybe Yoda talks funny because he's got a speech impediment and a learning disability, so he really had to struggle and overcome to get as good as he was." Disabled magical muppets. I just want sleep. 😭
January 29, 2025 at 6:33 AM
Trying to get to sleep and my brain won't shut up. It's just running wild with stupid stuff like "Maybe Yoda talks funny because he's got a speech impediment and a learning disability, so he really had to struggle and overcome to get as good as he was." Disabled magical muppets. I just want sleep. 😭
Post yourself as a drink:
January 29, 2025 at 5:02 AM
Post yourself as a drink:
Reposted by Carbonated Man
Jsust heard about the whole bus driver in Seattle thing, and I'm strongly considering making "Gargle my balls." my new motto.
January 29, 2025 at 2:16 AM
Jsust heard about the whole bus driver in Seattle thing, and I'm strongly considering making "Gargle my balls." my new motto.
Name a band for every letter in your name
R - Rancid
O - Oasis
B - Blink 182
E - Everclear
R - The Rifles
T - Third Eye Blind
R - Rancid
O - Oasis
B - Blink 182
E - Everclear
R - The Rifles
T - Third Eye Blind
Name a band for every letter of your name
S - Sneaker Pimps
I - Incubus
D - Depeche Mode
N - Nine Inch Nails
E - Echo & the Bunnymen
Y - Young the Giant
S - Sneaker Pimps
I - Incubus
D - Depeche Mode
N - Nine Inch Nails
E - Echo & the Bunnymen
Y - Young the Giant
January 29, 2025 at 2:04 AM
Name a band for every letter in your name
R - Rancid
O - Oasis
B - Blink 182
E - Everclear
R - The Rifles
T - Third Eye Blind
R - Rancid
O - Oasis
B - Blink 182
E - Everclear
R - The Rifles
T - Third Eye Blind
(Almost forgot to do this today)
20 books that influenced you. No explanations, no reviews, just covers.
10:
20 books that influenced you. No explanations, no reviews, just covers.
10:
January 28, 2025 at 11:53 PM
(Almost forgot to do this today)
20 books that influenced you. No explanations, no reviews, just covers.
10:
20 books that influenced you. No explanations, no reviews, just covers.
10:
Shout out to the cashier at my local mini-mart. Smokes just went up again without me noticing, and I didn't even have enough cash to buy the cheap generic ones. So she just covered the buck and a half difference for me without me even asking. Cool lady. 👍
January 28, 2025 at 11:44 PM
Shout out to the cashier at my local mini-mart. Smokes just went up again without me noticing, and I didn't even have enough cash to buy the cheap generic ones. So she just covered the buck and a half difference for me without me even asking. Cool lady. 👍
*Clears out old follows who went inactive or stopped being funny.
*Accidentally unfollows a few who folks are both still active and funny.
*Panics over how soon is too soon to quietly refollow without shit looking weird.
*Accidentally unfollows a few who folks are both still active and funny.
*Panics over how soon is too soon to quietly refollow without shit looking weird.
a cartoon drawing of a man 's head with a loading bar in front of a green board with math equations
Alt: a cartoon drawing of a man's head with a loading bar in front of a green board with math equations
media.tenor.com
January 28, 2025 at 5:06 PM
*Clears out old follows who went inactive or stopped being funny.
*Accidentally unfollows a few who folks are both still active and funny.
*Panics over how soon is too soon to quietly refollow without shit looking weird.
*Accidentally unfollows a few who folks are both still active and funny.
*Panics over how soon is too soon to quietly refollow without shit looking weird.